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THIRTY NEW 
CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 
AND PLAYS 


BY 

MARIE IRISH, CLARA JfDENTON 
LAURA R; SMITH 

AND OTHERS 


A. FLANAGAN COMPANY 

CHICAGO 




Copyright 1909 

BY 

A. Flanagan Company 


® CL A 2 516 2« 



CONTENTS 

y 

PRIMARY GRADES 

PAGE 

A Christmas Surprise for Mother Goose. .Marie Irish 5 
Eight girls and four boys 

Merry Christmas .. Laura R. Smith 11 

Fourteen children 

What They Do . Clara J. Denton 14 

Any number of little girls 

A Christmas Stocking . Marie Irish 16 

Four girls and four boys 

A Christmas Secret .. .. .. .Laura R. Smith 19 

Seven small girls 

A Christmas Acrostic . Alice Cook Fuller 22 

Nine children 

A Christmas Journey . Marie Irish 23 

Two girls and three boys 

Helping Santa Claus .. .Laura R. Smith 25 

Any number of children 

Christmas Exercise ... Estelle Redman 28 

Five children 

The Merry Elves . Laura R. Smith 30 

A whole school 

Christmas Wishes. ... Marie Irish 41 

Three girls and two boys 

The Snowflakes and the Fairies . Clara J. Denton 43 

Twenty-five little girls 

INTERMEDIATE GRADES 

The Boastful Weathervane . Clara J. Denton 49 

Ten small boys 


3 














4 


CONTENTS 


PAGE 

A Visit to Santa Claus. Marie Irish 54 

Four girls and five boys 

The Next Day. Clara J. Denton 60 

Three little girls 

Christmas Visitors from Other Lands_ Marie Irish 65 

Six girls and four boys 

“No Presents”. Clara J. Denton 69 

Five boys 

All His Fault. Clara J. Denton 74 

Two boys and any number of girls 

Christmas Influence. ..,. Marie Irish 82 

Five girls and four boys 

Christmas Sympathy. Marie Irish 87 

Four boys 

“The Look of Things”. Clara J. Denton 91 

Any number of boys and girls 

Christmas with Mother Goose. Laura R. Smith 96 

Any number of children 

HIGHER GRADES 

The True Christmas Spirit. Marie Irish 105 

Four girls and one boy 

Santa Claus Junior, Substitute_ Dora H. Stockman 109 

Any number of girls and boys 

Unexpected Company. Clara J. Denton 120 

Five girls and four boys 

Christmas at Holly Farm. Clara I. Denton 130 

Any number of girls and boys 

No Christmas in the House. Marie Irish 139 

Three girls and two boys 

Trials of Christmas Shopping. Marie Irish 144 

Three girls and one boy 

Christmas in the Air. Marie Irish 149 

Five girls and six boys 

The Great Sale. Clara J. Denton 156 

Five boys and any number of girls 

















PRIMARY GRADES 


A CHRISTMAS SURPRISE FOR MOTHER GOOSE 

Marie Irish 

FOR EIGHT GIRLS AND FOUR BOYS 

Characters 

Mother Goose, Boy Blue, Bo-Peep, Simple Simon, Miss Muffet, Jack 
and Jill, Cross-Patch, Jack Horner, Mother Hubbard, Red Riding 
Hood, Queen of Hearts. 

/" 

Costumes and General Directions 

Mother Goose: Short, striped skirt, bright overskirt of contrasting 
color, plain waist with ruffles around neck and sleeves, slippers with 
large bows and a tall hat tied with strings under chin. 

Boy Blue : Blue suit with white sash, white cap; carries horn. 

Bo-Peep: White dress, bright sash, bright stockings, slippers, large hat 
tied with wide ribbons under chin; carries crook. 

Simple Simon : Short trousers, long, bright stockings, white vest, coat 
with long tails made from bright calico, stiff hat. 

Miss Muffet : Any fancy dress, rather fussy, large bow on hair, carries 
large spider—either a manufactured one or one made by sewing wire 
legs to a bunch of dark cloth and fastening it onto a fine elastic cord. 
Jack and Jill: Dark clothes, trimmed with evergreen; caps trimmed 
in same way. They carry a little pail of candy. 

Cross-Patch : Hair parted, rolled at sides and done up on top of head, 
dark dress, long skirt, white apron, white kerchief about neck; carries 
cup and saucer. 

Jack Horner: Red cap, strip of red down jacket, red sash; carries a 
plate on which is some pudding. 

Mother Hubbard: Bonnet tied under chin, small veil across forehead 
and tied in back, long dress, dark shawl; carries a pie. 

Red Riding Hood : Dark dress, red cape and hood, basket on arm. 

Queen of Hearts : Fancy dress, blue or pink, floor length, low neck, 
short sleeves, hair done up high, small crown on head; carries a dish 
of tarts. 


5 


6 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Stage is furnished as an ordinary living room; easy chairs, table, etc. 
As curtain rises Mother Goose is discovered seated in dejected attitude 
at back of room. She looks around, sighs deeply, then rises and comes 
to front of stage. 

Mother Goose: 

Alack and alas! Oh, what is the use 

Of being the world-famed Old Mother Goose, 
When all of my family have gone away, 

And I’m here alone on Christmas Day? 

They, every one, have forgotten poor me, 

And I’m just as lonesome as I can be. 

(There is a loud knock and Mother Hubbard enters, bowing 
low.) 

Mother Hubbard : 

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard, 

And found upon the shelf 
Some nice mince pies of generous size, 

And so I helped myself. 

I gave my poor old dog a piece, 

As I wished not to eat alone, 

But though ’twas good he said that he 
Would much prefer a nice bone. 

I thought perhaps you would like a pie, too, 

So accept this gift, I pray; 

When you sit down to sup please eat it all up, 

And enjoy your Christmas Day. 

(Gives pie to Mother Goose, who bows and puts it on the 
table. Another knock is heard and Jack Horner enters.) 

Jack Horner: 

Little Jack Horner sat in the corner, 

Eating his Christmas pie; 

He put in his thumb and pulled out a plum, 

And said, “I’m not selfish, not I, 

So I’ll share my plum and give Mother Goose some, 
Since this is Christmas Day.” 

Accept this dish with my earnest wish 
That your Christmas may be quite gay. 


PRIMARY GRADES 


7 


(Bows and gives Mother Goose the dish of pudding; she 
takes it with a how and puts it on table. Another knock and 
Bo-Peep enters.) 

Bo-Peep : 

Little Bo-Peep lost all of her sheep, 

And hunted o’er hill and dale, 

Yet not a sheep, alas, could she find— 

Not even so much as a tail. 

But little Bo-Peep has now found her sheep 
And all are safe in the fold, 

So she has brought, this Christmas Day, 

A gift not purchased with gold— 

A message of love and Christmas cheer, 

To last Mother Goose all of next year. 

(She runs up to Mother Goose, puts an arm around her and 
gives her a resounding smack on the cheek. Each character 
after speaking passes to hack or sides of room, some standing, 
others sitting. Mother Goose remains standing at center of 
room. A knock and Boy Blue enters.) 

Boy Blue: 

Little Boy Blue was feeling quite blue, 

Because ’twas so long since he’d seen you, 

(Bows low to Mother GooseJ 
So he came, Mother Goose, this Christmas Day, 
The kindest regards of the season to pay. 

Don’t care if the cows are in the corn, 

Don’t care if I don’t get home till morn. 

I love my horn with its toot-toot-too, 

So I brought it to make some music for you. 

(Begins to blow long, loud blast on horn. Mother Goose 
laughs, but the others all clap hands over ears and make faces. 
Boy Blue looks from one to the other, innocently, and then, as 
the result of his action seems to dazvn upon him, he is con¬ 
vulsed by laughter.) 

Mother Hubbard: 

Oh, stop it! Stop that racket, pray, 

Or you’ll scare my poor old dog away! 


8 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Boy Blue: 

Why, Christmas should be a merry day, 

And how can it merry be for boys 
Unless they’re allowed to make some noise? 

(He gives another loud toot, then knock is heard and Red 
Riding Hood enters.) 

Red Riding Hood: 

The next to arrive is Red Riding Hood— 

I came alone by the path through the wood; 

I met the old wolf out taking a walk, 

But I hurried along and would not stay to talk. 

I’ve a pot of butter and a loaf of cake 
That I hope dear Mother Goose will take 
As a Christmas gift from Red Riding Hood, 

Who loves you ’cause you’re so very good. 

(She bows and gives basket to Mother Goose, who bows and 
puts it on table, A knock and Miss Muffet enters, jumping 
her spider up and down by rubber.) 

Miss Muffet: 

As little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, 

Eating curds and whey, 

She caught this big spider that sat down beside her, 
And brought it here today; 

A Christmas gift, Mother Goose, to you, 

Because you know I love you true. 

(She starts toward Mother Goose with spider, but evidently 
the Old Dame is not overjoyed, as she screams and motions 
Miss Muffet away.) 

All (to Miss Muffet): 

Oh, take that horrid thing from sight, 

Or Mother Goose will die of fright! 

Miss Muffet (crying): 

You’re mean as you can be, boo-hoo. 

My spider won’t hurt any of you! 


PRIMARY GRADES 


9 


(She sits down on low stool near front of room and plays with 
the spider. After a knock Simple Simon enters.) 

Simple Simon: 

Simple Simon went to town, 

To buy Mother Goose a nice silk gown, 

’Cause I was willing to bet my hat 

(Takes off hat and makes low bow.) 
You’d like a Christmas present like that; 

But when the clerk asked to see my penny 
I had to say, “I haven’t any.” 

So all I’ve got to give to you 

Is a handkerchief—but my heart is true. 

(Puts left hand on heart and bows low as he 
pulls handkerchief out of pocket and gives it 
to Mother Goose.) 

Barrels of love and good wishes by the ton 
Come from Simon, your Simple son. 

(Mother Goose bows, wipes eyes on handkerchief and tucks 
it into her belt. A knock and Cross-Patch enters.) 

All (jeeringly): 

Cross-Patch, draw the latch 
Sit by the fire and spin! 

Mother Goose (looking around and shaking her finger re¬ 
provingly ): 

Nay, nay, my children, speak not so, 

For no unkindness we should show, 

To those we meet on Christmas Day, 

When love, peace and good-will hold sway. 

Cross-Patch (laughing): 

Oh, I’m not a bit cross today, 

’Tis Christmas and my heart is gay; 

Good-will abounds and love is king, 

And I wouldn’t be cross for anything. 

I have brought a Christmas cup, 

From which Mother Goose may take a sup. 


10 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


(Bows and gives Mother Goose a cup and saucer . Mother 
Goose bows, takes it and puts it on table . A knock and Jack 
and Jill enter.) 

Jack and Jill (in unison): 

Jack and Jill went up the hill, 

To get a pail of candy, 

Because at Christmas-time we wished 
To have a-plenty handy. 

Jack: 

I didn’t fall down and break my crown, 

So we got our candy home safely from town. 

Jill: 

Then, Mother Goose, we thought of you, 

And wished you had some candy, too; 

So accept this pailful if you will, 

With best Christmas wishes from Jack and Jill. 

(They bow and give Mother Goose the pail of candy. She 
bows as she accepts it, and places it on table. A knock is heard 
and Queen of Hearts enters.) 

Queen of Hearts : 

The Queen of Hearts she made some tarts, 

All on a Christmas Day; 

Then while I was dreaming of Santa Claus 
The Knave stole my tarts away; 

So I made some more on purpose for you, 

(Bows to Mother Goose.) 
Because the wise folks say 
That she who gives her tokens of love 
Is queen of hearts on Christmas Day. 

(She bows and gives tarts to Mother Goose who bows , takes 
them and places dish on table.) 

All of the Visitors (gaily) : 

So here we are, oh, here we are, 

On merry Christmas Day, 

To show our love for Mother Goose, 

On merry Christmas Day! 


PRIMARY GRADES 


11 


Mother Goose: 

My dears, I thank you, one and all, 

Far more than I can tell, 

Not alone for the gifts you bring, 

But for your love as well. 

Your Christmas days will merry be, 

And happy your hearts, I know, 

If you remember that giving is the best part of 
As onward through life you go. [living, 

(Simple Simon steps forward and offers his arm to Mother 
Goose and conducts her to a seat at center of hack of stage. 
All gather in a semi-circle hack of her and wave hands as cur¬ 
tain goes down.) 


MERRY CHRISTMAS 

Laura Rountree Smith 

f 

FOR FOURTEEN CHILDREN 

Directions 

Each child carries a red pasteboard bell, on which is a white letter. 
These, when put together, spell the words “Merry Christmas.” The let¬ 
ters are carried blank side out and each pupil turns his card to view of 
audience when reciting his lines. 

M: 

Merry Christmas now is here, 

Down the chimney who will creep? 

Santa Claus will soon appear, 

When the children are asleep. 


'E: 

Every year we leave our stockings 
Hanging in a row, 

Soon old Santa Claus will fill them 
Full from top to toe. 


12 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


R: 

Riding out across the snow-fields, 

Goes the jolly man, 

All his sleigh-bells jingle, jingle, 

Catch him if you can. 

R: 

Round and square, and big and little— 
Toys in Santa’s pack, 

Many funny things he carries 
Safely on his back. 


Y: 

Yes, dear Santa will be coming, 
All of us believe. 

He is a very busy fellow 
Late on Christmas Eve. 


C: 

Christmas comes when bells are ringing, 
Ringing soft and low, 

Soon we’ll hear the bells of Christmas 
Ring across the snow ! 

H: 

Hang the many empty stockings 
By the fire with care, 

Late on Christmas Eve we know 
Dear Santa will be there. 

R: 

Rich, and poor, and high, and lowly, 

All are glad, because 
Everyone loves Merry Christmas 
And dear Santa Claus! 


I: 

In the stockings, funny presents 
Santa Claus can pack, 

For of games, and toys, and playthings, 
Santa has no lack. 


PRIMARY GRADES 


13 


S: 

Santa Claus is surely coming, 
Very soon we know. 

All the stockings now are empty, 
Hanging in a row. 


T: 

Toys and games for all the children, 
Bring us playthings, do, 

Don’t forget the baby, Santa, 

For his stocking is new. 


M: 

Merry, merry, merry Christmas, 
Hear the sweet bells ring. 
Merry, merry, merry Christmas 
All the children sing. 


A: 

All the children now are bringing 
Empty stockings here, 

Soon they’ll say: “Hurrah for Christmas, 
And for Santa dear.” 


S: 

Stockings everywhere are waiting. 

While the children sleep 
A very jolly, furry man, 

Will down the chimney creep. 

All (in concert ): 

Merry Christmas-time is coming, 

Christmas with its joys, 

Santa Claus will bring fine presents 
For the girls and boys. 

( Curtain : or pupils may march toward hack of stage , while 
reciting these last four lines , bowing at rear before going off .) 


14 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

WHAT THEY DO 
Clara J. Denton 

FOR ANY NUMBER OF LITTLE GIRLS 

Costumes and General Directions 

Gown the little girls in white with decorations of evergreens. These 
may be in the form of wreaths on the head, garlands over the shoulder, 
or of greenery attached to the gowns in any fanciful manner. 

Ordinary costumes may be used, if preferred. 

The Girls are “discovered” standing in line as curtain rises. 
Or, if a curtain is not available, let the children march to the 
stage in time to lively music. 

SONG 

Air: “land of liberty/' p. 70 , “Fountain Song Book,” No. 3 *” 

Pealing bells, ring out, ring out; 

Merry, merry Christmas! 

While the happy voices shout: 

Merry, merry Christmas! 

Sadness, doubt and fear be gone, 

Tell it o’er, tell it o’er. 

While the joyful bells ring on— 

Ring, ring, from shore to shore. 

(Repeat first four lines.) 

Banish now all strife and care 
While the sun shines o’er us; 

All the joyful news declare, 

Spread the merry chorus. 

Pealing bells across the snow 
Tell the story for us; 

Where the children come and go, 

Hear the merry chorus. 

(Repeat first four lines of song.) 


*Price, 10 cents, postpaid. 



PRIMARY GRADES 


IS 


Sing glad praises: gladly sing, 

With our youthful voices; 

Let the air with gladness ring, 

All the earth rejoices. 

Greenery bring from near and far, 

Banish, banish sadness; 

Raise on high the shining star, 

Singing songs of gladness. 

(Repeat first four lines of song.) 

All (recite): 

What is done at Christmas-time? 

Ring, ring, the merry, merry chime. (Swing hands hack 
and forth in unison as if ringing hells.) 

This they do at Christmas-time. 

What is done on Christmas Eve? 

Hang up stockings with mother’s leave. (All turn to 
right, sides to audience, and make motions as if hanging 
up stockings.) 

This they do on Christmas Eve. 

What is done at rise of sun? 

Empty the stockings, O, what fun! (Hold up hotli hands, 
fingers and palms turned down as if holding the stocking 
by the toe and emptying it.) 

This they do at rise of sun. 

What is done on Christmas Day? 

Off for church to sing and pray. (Give this line in 
softer tone, as they turn sides to audience and march 
across the platform and back to line, giving the last line 
of the stanza just before they are all in line again.) 

This they do on Christmas Day. 

What is done on Christmas Night? 

Take the gifts from tree so bright. (Hold up both hands 
as if receiving something.) 

This they do on Christmas Night. 


16 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


When dear Christmas is passed away, 

Thanking the Father, they kneel and pray, 

For the dear Lord Christ who was born this day. 

(Fall on knees , cross hands on breast and lift eyes in prayer.) 
Tableau and Slow Curtain. 


A CHRISTMAS STOCKING 

Marie Irish 

FOR FOUR GIRLS AND FOUR BOYS 

Characters 

Mary, Esther, Lottie, Dorothy, Fred, Will, George and Henry. 

Costumes and General Directions 

Children come on stage and stand in line in following order: Will, 
Mary, Esther, Fred, George, Lottie, Dorothy, Henry. Will carries a 
book in one hand and a rather long stocking made out of red cambric 
in the other hand; Mary carries a doll, and Esther a box of about the 
size of a shoe-box, wrapped in paper and tied with cord; Fred, George 
and Henry each carry a package of size to represent the gift each speaks 
of; Lottie carries a package and Dorothy a book. Ordinary every-day 
costumes, or as desired. 

Mary (motioning to include All) : 

We know a little girl who lives 
In a house just over the way, 

Who cannot run about like we, 

On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day. 

Esther (sadly and slowly): 

Because she has a broken back, 

This poor little, poor little dear; 

And she aches and aches and the doctors say 
She will never get well, they fear. 


PRIMARY GRADES 


17 


Fred : 

Her folks are poor and we are sure 
Her Christmas will be quite forlorn— 
Unless we play we’re Santa Claus (grinning) 
And surprise her on Christmas Morn. 


Will (stepping to front and holding up stocking): 
So we’ve made a Christmas stocking, 

This stocking so large and fine; 

We’re going to fill it to the top 

With things that’ll make her eyes shine. 


I bought a pretty story book, 

With pictures bright and gay; 

And when she looks at them I hope 
’Twill help drive her pain away. 

(Drops hook into stocking.) 

Henry (stepping forward and taking hold of one side of the 
stocking): 

Let me have a hand in helping 

With this Christmas game, because 

I think there’s lots of fun in playing 
That you are Mr. Santa Claus. 

Where can we find a nobler work 

Than bringing joy to girls and boys? 

I will help to swell this stocking 
With a bunch of pretty toys. 

(Drops package into stocking . He and Will 
continue to hold stocking.) 

Dorothy : 

I am sure the little sick girl 
Gets very lonesome indeed; 

So I have brought a pretty book, 

With easy stories to read. 

(Steps forward and drops book into stocking.) 


18 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Lottie : 

I bought a nice little tea-set, 

With money I earned washing dishes; 

I’ll put it into this stocking 

With love and best Christmas wishes. 

I hope the sick girl will enjoy it, 

Since she can’t run about like me, 

And set out the dishes beside her, 

And play with her dolly at tea. 

(Drops package into stocking.) 


George: 

I have been saving my money 
To buy me a new bob-sled, 

But I can’t be selfish at Christmas, 

With some children sick in bed. 

So I bought a nice box of paints 

And some brushes, too. Hope they may 
Give the sick girl something to do, 

And help pass the long hours away. 

(Drops package into stocking.) 


Fred: 

I know she will like my present, 

’Cause children like good things to eat; 

I have brought some candy and nuts, 

And oranges, yellow and sweet. 

(Drops package into stocking.) 

Mary: 

I bought this dear little dolly, 

And made it a bonnet and dress; 

Though my stitches are not very fine 
She’ll love the dolly, I guess. 

Then Esther helped me, and Lottie, 

And mama, of course, helped some, too, 

And we made a whole lot of clothes, 

From a night-dress down to a shoe. 

(Drops doll into stocking.) 


PRIMARY GRADES 


19 


> 

Esther ; 

Then we packed them all in this box, 

And I wish we could be there to see, 

When she finds them on Christmas Morn— 

How happy the sick girl will be! 

(Puts box into stocking.) 

Fred: 

Now we’ll take the Christmas stocking 
To the house across the way, 

And ask the sick girl’s folks to give it 
To her at dawn of Christmas Day. 

All (in unison): 

“ ’Tis better to give than receive,” 

This motto we all should heed; 

So let us be happy at Christmas-time 
By giving to those in need. 

(Fred and Will pass off stage carrying the stocking, the oth¬ 
ers following in single file after them.) 


A CHRISTMAS SECRET 

Laura Rountree Smith 

FOR SEVEN SMALL GIRLS 

Characters 

Six Little Girls, carrying candles, and the Elf. 
Six Little Girls (enter, each carrying a candle): 

We have candles here tonight, 

And think without a doubt, 

If we whisper very loud, 

The secret will be out! 

First Girl: 

I’ll light my candle now, because 
A very jolly man 

Will scamper down the chimney late— 
Just catch him if you can! 


20 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


All (form in two lines of three each , facing one another . As 
they recite , they shake heads and motion a warning with index 
finger of right hand to keep the secret ): 

He’s coming down the chimney late, 

We’ll all be up at any rate! 

Second Girl: 

’Tis a secret—for you know 
The Elf will take a peep. 

When he fills our stockings full 
We’re always fast asleep. 

All (face in two and tzvo , and hold up finger ): 

We are fast asleep in bed, 

For each one is a sleepy-head! 


Third Girl : 

I wonder how this jolly Elf, 

Can leave his little sleigh 
Waiting out there on the roof— 
Won’t his reindeer run away? 

All (face in two and two ): 

Santa’s reindeer on the'roof, 

Stamps each little tiny hoof! 

Fourth Girl: 

I wonder how this jolly man, 

Can carry on his back, 

So very many pretty toys 
In such a tiny pack. 

All (face in two and two , both hands on back ): 
He always carries on his back, 
Presents in his splendid pack. 


Fifth Girl : 

If he found the children waiting, 
Would he pass us by? 

Though I’ve never seen old Santa, 
I have heard he’s shy! 


PRIMARY GRADES 


21 


All (face in two and two and nod heads): 

Now, the secret’s out, because, 

She spoke the name of Santa Claus. 

Sixth Girl: 

All our candles now are waiting, 

Each one for its light; 

Soon you will see them shining, 

’Tis such a pretty sight! 

All (face in two and two, hold candles touching): 

While old Santa works at night, 

He has no need of candle-light. 

Elf (entering): 

Wee little maidens, jolly little maidens, 

Wee little maidens standing in a row; 

Pretty little maidens, jolly little maidens, 

Why do you carry candles, I would like to know ? 


All: 

We will sit up late tonight, 

For this jolly man; 

Though Santa is a roguish Elf, 

We’ll catch him if we can. 

Elf : 

Wee little maidens, jolly little maidens, 

Wee little maidens, Santa is so shy; 

Wee little maidens, jolly little maidens, 

If you don’t fall asleep, he’ll surely pass you by! 

All : 

Here are our candles, little Elf, 

Please give us each a light, 

We thank you for your kind advice, 

And we will say “Good-night.” 

(Elf lights candles and the Girls how and march off.) 


22 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

A CHRISTMAS ACROSTIC 

Alice Cook Fuller 

FOR NINE CHILDREN 

Directions 

Paste the capital letters, cut from crimson paper, upon palm-leaf or 
advertising fans. The fans should be held at the side in the right hand 
until the time for each child to recite and as each pupil names his let¬ 
ter he lays the fan containing it across his breast. 

First Child: 

C is for chimney, that St. Nick descends 
When gifts he has with him to leave for his friends. 

Second Child: 

H is for housetops, o’er which the Saint rides, 

To seek for the chimney-tops down which he slides. 

Third Child: 

R is for reindeer—the six prancing steeds 

Who help good St. Nicholas perform his kind deeds. 

Fourth Child: 

I is for the innocents—all sound asleep 
Dreaming at St. Nick they each had a peep. 

Fifth Child: 

S is for sleigh, that o’er housetops goes flying, 

The wants and the wishes of small folks supplying. 

Sixth Child: 

T is for tree, full of loveliest toys 

To be given away to the good girls and boys. 

Seventh Child: 

M is for mamma, moving swiftly about, 

To tuck all in bed and to put the light out. 

Eighth Child: 

A is for animals, stuffed and alive, 

In Santa Claus’ train which are sure to arrive. 


PRIMARY GRADES 


23 


Ninth Child: 

S is for stocking that hangs by the grate, 

Full almost to bursting—a quite happy state. 

All: 

The whole word you’ll see if you study it out, 

Is the very best word in the language, no doubt. 


A CHRISTMAS JOURNEY 

Marie Irish 

FOR TWO GIRLS AND THREE BOYS 

Characters 

Tom Jasper Clara Margaret Father Time 

Costumes and General Directions 

Costumes : The boy who represents Father Time wears white hair and 
long, white beard made of rope or thin, white paper, cut very fine, a 
little black cap, and a black shawl draped about him for a robe. The 
four children wear coats, hoods, etc., as if dressed for a trip. 

Scene: A street. Discovered, Tom, walking slowly across stage; as 
Tom gets almost across stage Clara comes on from side toward which 
he is walking. 

Clara : 

Oh, whither away this winter’s day? 

And what are you going for, I pray ? 

Tom : O’er hill and dale and prairie I’m journeying afar, unto 
the land where the great North Pole looms up to the North 
Star. I want to find old Santa Claus and see just where he 
lives, and find out where he gets the presents that he gives. 

Clara : I think I shall go with you, provided I do not freeze, 
and see if Mr. Santa Claus picks tea-sets off of trees; if mar¬ 
bles grow on bushes, and find out if it’s true that foot-balls 
grow on vines the way that pumpkins do. (She steps behind 
Tom and they march back toward center of stage.) 

(Enter Jasper. ) 


24 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Jasper (as he meets Tom and Clara at center of stage): 

Oh, whither away this winter’s day ? 

And what are you going for, I pray ? 

Tom and Clara: 

We’re off to hunt for the great North Pole, 

And to find the Land of Toys, 

Where Santa Claus gets the wonderful things 
That he brings to girls and boys. 

Jasper: I guess I’ll go along, if you’ll kindly allow .me, please, 
for I want to see the polar bears and the icebergs in the 
North seas; I want to look at the white reindeer, and see how 
the air-guns grow, and whether toys are picked from plants 
all growing along in a row. (He gets in line behind Tom and 
Clara and they march toward the back of stage.) 

(Enter Margaret.) 

Margaret (as she meets Tom, Clara and JasperJ: 

Oh, whither away this winter’s day ? 

And what are you going for, I pray ? 

Tom, Clara and Jasper : 

We’re off to hunt for the great North Pole, 

And to find the Land of Toys, 

Where Santa Claus gets the wonderful things 
That he brings to girls and boys. 

Margaret: I think I shall join the procession, for I’ve want¬ 
ed to know all my life, if Santa Claus lives in a palace of ice 
and if the dear man has a wife. I never have heard her men¬ 
tioned nor seen her picture in books, but he must have a wife 
to care for him, so fat and well Santa looks. (She gets in line 
behind Tom, Clara and Jasper. They march in diagonal line 
from center of back down toward right corner of front and 
meet Father Time, who comes onto stage from right side.) 

(Enter Father Time.) 

Father Time: 

Oh, whither away this winter’s day? 

And vfrhat are you going for, I pray ? 


PRIMARY GRADES 


25 


Tom, Clara, Jasper and Margaret : 

We’re off to hunt for the great North Pole, 

And to find the Land of Toys, 

Where Santa Claus gets the wonderful things 
That he brings to girls and boys. 

Father Time: Ah, my children, your quest is vain; the land 
for which you long, is only found in story books and in the 
realm of song. Though you journey for years you will find 
Santa Claus is still in the Sweet Bye and Bye; seek not to dis¬ 
cover his chilly abode; accept his presents but do not try to 
ferret his secret with curious eye. Go home, and when, in 
later years, from childhood you depart, you will learn that dear 
old Santa Claus is found in every heart. 

Tom, Clara, Jasper and Margaret: 

All right! We’ll leave the great North Pole 
To guard the Land of Toys, 

While we’re content to accept the things 
Santa brings to girls and boys. 

fF ather Time leads and the others march off stage in line 
behind him .) 


HELPING SANTA CLAUS 

Laura Rountree Smith 

FOR ANY NUMBER OF CHILDREN 

Costumes and Directions 

Children stand behind evergreen twigs which have been placed in pots, 
to represent small Christmas trees, and recite. The special characters, 
as Brother, Sister, Father, etc., should be attired to represent their 
parts. They must carry the special properties mentioned in verses. The 
children will gladly bring these from home. 

First Child: 

Why do all the sweet bells ring? 

Why do little children sing? 

All: ’Tis Merry Christmas-time! 


26 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Second Child: 

Why do sleigh-bells jingle so, 

When Santa drives across the snow? 

All: Tis Merry Christmas-time. 

Third Child: 

Why do children feel so jolly, 

When they decorate with holly ? 

All: Tis Merry Christmas-time. 

Fourth Child: 

Why do stockings in a row, 

Swing so empty to and fro? 

All: Tis Merry Christmas-time. 

Fifth Child: 

Why must children go to bed ? 

Santa’s coming soon, ’tis said. 

All: Tis Merry Christmas-time. 

Sixth Child: 

Bundles large and bundles small, 

What’s the meaning of it all? 

All: Tis Merry Christmas-time. (They march in front of 
trees and stand.) 

Oh, the merry Christmas-time, 

And the merry Christmas bells; 

What a joyous time is coming, 

All their ringing now foretells. 

And the merry Christmas trees, 

All standing in a row, 

Wait for Santa Claus, 

He is coming soon we know! 

(Children march off. Enter Brother, with pop-corn chains, 
which he places on the trees.) 


PRIMARY GRADES 


27 


Brother : 

Santa’s such a busy Elf, 

I’ll help him just a bit myself, 

And I think you’ll all agree, 

’Tis fun to deck the Christmas tree. 

Sister (enters): 

I bring apples here, because 
’Tis fun to help old Santa Claus. 

Over all the world he goes, 

How he does it no one knows! 

Father (enters): 

Candles I have brought, you see, 

The children all will dance with glee. 

’Tis only fair that parents, dear, 

Should help old Santa once a year. 

(All help place candles on trees.) 

Mother (enters):' 

Presents large and presents small, 

Help me bring them one and all; 

When old Santa comes, you know, 

He’ll be glad we helped him so. 

Grandma ( enters): 

Place them on the tree with care, 

Every cunning Teddy Bear; 

Now, we, too, must go to sleep, 

So Santa’ll down the chimney creep! 

(Exit All. Enter Santa Claus .) 

Santa Claus: 

Merry Christmas! good folks. I crept in the door, 
Such a thing I never thought of before, 

But, really, the chimneys are terribly small, 

And what if old Santa should have a great fall ? 
What do I see, with a merry ho, ho, 

Six little Christmas trees stand in a row; 


28 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

Now I’ll take from off my back, 

Presents from my heavy pack— 

Presents now for grandma dear, 

For I know that she’s been here; 

Books for father and for mother, 

Games for sister and for brother; 

I shall want them all to know, 

I am glad they helped me so. 

I must not make a bit of noise, 

For I might wake the girls and boys! 

I’ll light all the candles that stand in a row, 

I’m a merry old Santa—I shout ho! ho! 

(He lights candles while any Christmas song is played or sung 
very softly , then goes out. Children and Parents enter and 
clap hands and cry “Merry Christmas!” or sing another song.) 


CHRISTMAS EXERCISE 

Estelle Redman 

FOR FIVE CHILDREN 

This exercise is bes.t rendered by four primary and one intermediate 

grade pupils. 

First Boy : 

They tell me old Santa Claus is a myth, 

But I cannot believe ’tis true, 

For last year he brought me a top, a ball, 

And a sled that was painted blue. 

But, there’s one thing I cannot get mamma to tell, 
Though I beg and tease and coax— 

Why do not she and papa hang their stockings up 
As well as we little folks? 

Second Boy.: 

Last Christmas, I was glad that I had been good 
When Santa came to papa 
And asked if I were a truthful boy 
And always obeyed mamma. 


PRIMARY GRADES 


Brother Jim says it was Uncle Ben, 

But he must be mistaken, quite, 

For Uncle Ben hasn’t a long red nose, 

And whiskers long and white. 

First Girl: 

Of course I love St. Nicholas, 

As all good children should. 

I asked him to bring me a large, wax doll, 
And I hope that he understood. 

But why does he not answer the letter 
I wrote o’er a month ago? 

I mailed it my very own self, 

So he must have received it, I know. 

Second Girl: 

Old Santa Claus is surely behind the times, 
Or else his ways are queer— 

Why does he not come in a flying machine 
And spare his good reindeer? 

He certainly must have passed us by, 

Much longer I cannot wait; 

I do not believe he is coming at all, 

For the hour is getting late. 

Intermediate Grade Pupil (boy or girl ): 

Now, children, stop your doubting; 

Santa Claus is on the way, 

Bringing presents for us all— 

He’ll be here without delay. 

Hark! I think I hear him coming; 

Yes, surely it is he. 

Welcome, welcome! Santa Claus, 

To our Christmas tree. 

All: 

Yes, thrice welcome, Santa Claus, 

We’ve waited long for you ; 

Please give us our presents at once, we pray, 
And nuts and candy, too. 




30 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


THE MERRY ELVES 

Laura Rountree Smith 

FOR A WHOLE SCHOOL 

Characters 

The Elfin Band— any number of little boys and girls, Postman, China 
Doll, Rubber Doll, Teddy Bear, Japanese Doll, Tin Soldier, Five 
Little Boys, Santa Claus Children— ten in number. 

Act I 

Scene: Santa Claus’ workshop. Dolls, toy furniture, playthings, etc., 
are scattered about on the floor and work tables. A Christmas tree is 
in full view. Arrange everything as “busy-looking” as possible. 

The Merry Elves (or Elfin Band) enter, singing the first verse of 
song, The Elfin Band, while marching, gesturing gaily during chorus 
after both verses, and appearing to be decking the tree during second 
verse. 


THE ELFIN BAND 

Words by Laura R. Smith Music by T. B. Weaver 


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32 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


(Enter Postman with letters.) 

Postman : 

Oh, ho, I carry on my back, 

Like Santa Claus, a heavy pack, 

These letters I will leave, because, 

They are addressed to Santa Claus; 

The mail’s so heavy, it is clear 
That Christmas-time is drawing near. 

Oh, ho, I see the merry Elves, 

Come on, wee sprites, and help yourselves. 

Elves (in concert): 

Give us the letters now, because 
We read them for old Santa Claus! 

We’re his private secretaries: 

We (patting themselves on chests), merry 
Brownies and Fairies. 

(Postman sets down mail-hag. Elves, opening letters, group 

around and read.) 

First Elf : 

Dear Santa Claus: I’ll hang my stocking 
High up on the wall, 

And I will go to bed quite early, 

Hoping you will call. 

Bring me dolls and other presents, 

Bring me playthings new: 

Then I’ll say, “Hurrah for Christmas! 

And for dear Santa, too!” 

Second Elf: 

Dear Santa Claus: I know you’re busy 
Riding o’er the snow, 

And down very many chimneys, 

You will have to go. 

We will leave our empty stockings 
Hanging side by side; 

You will have no trouble, Santa, 

Our chimney is so wide! 

(Enter another Elf.) 


PRIMARY GRADES 


31 


Elf: 

What could have happened, do you suppose? 

For Santa has soot all over his clothes. 

Dear Santa came home in a terrible plight, 

For he stuck fast in a chimney last night! 

Why do they build some chimneys so small 
That Santa can scarcely get down them at all? 
Then what if dear Santa should never get out? 

It would make a sad Christmas without any doubt! 

Elves (in concert ): 

Poor old Santa Claus, in fur from top to toe, 
Poor old Santa Claus, must down the chimney go. 

First Elf: 

Why do they build their chimneys tall? 

For Santa Claus might have a fall! 

Second Elf: 

Why don’t they build their chimneys wide, 

If dear Santa Claus must go inside? 

Third Elf: 

Now, if a fire is burning late, 

Then dear old Santa Claus must wait. 

Fourth Elf: 

Some day old Santa will go through the door, 

For chimneys now are becoming a bore! 

Fifth Elf: 

Then, through the windows, old Santa will creep, 
When all of the children are falling asleep. 

Sixth Elf: 

Santa Claus has no time for rest, 

But he likes old-fashioned chimneys best! 

All the Elves (in concert ): 

Hark! ’tis the voice of Santa dear, 

Very soon he may appear! 


34 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Voice of Santa Claus (from behind scenes): 

What shall I take to the girls and the boys? 

Books, and games, and dolls, and toys. 

The chimneys are narrow, and so I suppose 
I shall get soot all over my clothes. 

I have an idea, as bright as can be, 

I’ll ask them to leave their doors open for me. 

The chimneys are small, and I think without doubt 
Some night I’ll stick fast, and never get out! 

Elves (in concert): 

What says Santa Claus, in fur from top to toe? 

Poor old Santa Claus must down the chimney go! 

(Exit Elves, singing chorus of song, The Elfin Band. 
Children representing Dolls now bob up their heads above a 
prearranged screen at back of center of stage.) 

China Doll: 

I’m a china doll, it is true, 

With eyes of the bluest blue, 

But some day you understand 
I must leave Santa Land! 

Rubber Doll : 

I’m a rubber doll, and I sigh, 

For soon I must say good-bye; 

In Santa’s pack I will go, 

Riding out over the snow. 

Teddy Bear: 

I’m a little Teddy Bear, 

My fur is soft, you know; 

I’ll ride in Santa’s sleigh, 

And into a stocking go! 

Japanese Doll: 

I came from far-away Japan, 

With pretty parasol and fan; 

And I’m very glad I came, because 
I see the dolls love Santa Claus! 



PRIMARY GRADES 


35 


Tin Soldier: 

The soldiers marching come, 

They march with sword and drum; 

With a rub-a-dub, and rat-tat-too, 

We march as brave men always do. 

All: 

Sleigh-bells are ringing, 

With song sweet and clear— 

We welcome old Santa, 

For Christmas draws near. 

All (sing while sleigh-hells are being softly rung): 

Tune: “lightly row,” in “Fountain Song Book, No. 3*.” 

1 

Hear the bells! hear the bells! 

Ringing from old Santa’s sleigh; 

Merry bells, merry bells, 

Jingle all the way. 

Christmas-time has come, you know, 

Into stockings we must go; 

Hear the bells, hear the bells, 

Bells from Santa’s sleigh! 

2 

Santa Claus, Santa Claus, 

Loves the little girls and boys; 

Jolly man, jolly man, 

Brings them dolls and toys. 

Hear his sleigh-bells sweetly ring, 

“Merry Christmas!” we all sing: 

Santa Claus, Santa Claus, 

Loves the girls and boys! 

(Dolls disappear behind screen. Enter Five Very Little 
Boys, .and recite (( Christmas Eve,” as follozvs:) 


*Price, 10 cents, postpaid. 



36 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


First Boy : 

A little wee gentleman, dressed in fur, 
Came down our chimney, oh; 

His furry old coat, it glistened white, 

As he shook off the flakes of snow. 

Second Boy: 

He said, “I’ll go and take a peep, 
Before I unpack my toys; 

I’ll see if the children are all asleep— 
There might be some wakeful boys!” 


Third Boy: 

Then, he crept in softly, as still as a mouse, 
And said, “They’re asleep, heigho! 

There is not a soul awake in the house, 

So back to the stockings I’ll go!” 

Fourth Boy: 

Then he put in the toys and sang, “Heigho!” 

Those stockings looked bulgy and queer. 

A wee little maid caught a glimpse of him: “Oh, J 
He said, “I’ll not linger here!” 


Fifth Girl: 

Then, whisk! up the chimney he darted away, 
His reindeer were waiting, you see; 

Then, sing “Hurrah” for glad Christmas Day, 
Old Santa’s the fellow for me! 

All (in concert ): 

Yes, old Santa is a jolly good fellow, 

We welcome him with glee, with glee, 

For he helps to make Christmas merry; and 
Old Santa’s the fellow for me. 

Curtain 


PRIMARY GRADES 


37 


Act II 

Scene : Sitting-room: by the fireside. The fireplace may be constructed 
of paper, tacked on a screen. Heavy brown paper lined off with black 
chalk will make a good fireplace. Logs should be placed under it. Ten 
children march in with stockings, on which are placed letters to spell 
the words, “Santa Claus.” They take part in the following drill. 

DRILL 

Hold stockings up, down, right, left; face in, two and two, 
hold stockings up, touching; face front, wind stockings about 
heads; face in two and two, wave stockings; face front and 
wave stockings; hold stockings out horizontally with both 
hands, arms extended, raise and lower in this position; hold 
stockings out vertically, so letters spell the words, “Santa 
Claus.” 

SONG 

Tune: “upidee,” in “Pat’s Pick*.” 

See all the stockings in a row, 

Santa Claus, Santa Claus, 

So soon will fill from top to toe, 

Jolly Santa Claus. 

Now all the bells ring sweet and clear, 

For merry Christmas-time is here. 

Chorus: 

Jingle, jingle, ring the bells, 

From the sleigh, from the sleigh, 

Jingle, jingle, ring the bells, 

Bells from Santa’s sleigh. 

Our stockings we will hang with care, 

Santa Claus, Santa Claus, 

For Christmas songs are in the air, 

Jolly Santa Claus. 

We soon will scamper off to bed, 

For Santa’s very shy, ’tis said! 

Chorus. 


♦Price, 50 cents, postpaid. 



38 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


(The Children now recite. All turn stockings so letters 
cannot he seen by audience. As each child recites he turns 
his letter to view.) 

S: 

Santa Claus will come tonight, 

Driving o’er the snow, 

On the housetops he will ride, 

And down the chimney go. 

A: 

All the stockings now are ready, 

Stockings large and small, 

Jolly Santa will bring presents, 

He will fill them all. 

N: . 

Now glad Christmas-time is coming, 

We are good as good can be, 

Hoping Santa’ll fill our stockings, 

And our Christmas tree. 

T: 

Toys, and games and other presents, 

Are in Santa’s pack, 

Dolls, and skates, and sleds and drums 
He carries on his back. 

A: 

All the children love old Santa, 

Soon he’ll come, you know, 

And his merry sleigh-bells 
Jingle, jingle, o’er the snow. 

C: 

Christmas-time is surely coming, 

Christmas with its joys, 

Santa Claus will not forget us, 

He will bring us toys. 

L: 

Long, and short, and big and little, 

All the stockings bring, 

Listen well, for late at evening, 

Bells of Christmas ring. 


PRIMARY GRADES 


A: 

All the stockings now are ready, 

Hanging in a row, 

Soon old Santa Claus will fill them, 

Full from top to toe! 

U: 

Upon the housetop hear the clatter, 

Santa’s come, we know, 

Down the chimneys, big and little, 

Santa Claus will go. 

S: 

So tonight we’ll hang our stockings, 
Stockings large and small, 

We will hang them late at evening, 
Hoping Santa will call. 

(All hang up stockings , then sit by the fire and recite .) 

First Child: 

Some children long ago, 

Hung their stockings in a row, 

Waiting by the fireside, because 
A jolly little man, 

In fur from top to toe, 

Was coming, by the name of Santa Claus! 

Second Child: 

These children, long ago, 

Sat on cushions in a row, 

And they said, We must not fall asleep, 

If dear Santa Claus should come, 

We surely would have fun, 

And at the jolly man we’d have a peep! 

Third Child: 

Now, these children in a row, 

Grew so sleepy, you must know, 

They fell asleep as though they were in bed, 
Then down the chimney quick, 

Scrambled nimble, old Saint Nick. 

“I am glad that they were sleepy,” Santa said 


40 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


(Children nod. Enter Elves. They repeat second verse 
and chorus of song as they fill stockings, and then go out as 
Children awake.) 

(Children cry, “Hurrah for Santa Claus!” and then sing: 
“Santa Claus Song.”) 


SANTA CLAUS SONG 

Tune: (( Marching Through Georgia” 

1 

Sing a song of Christmas-time, 

And stockings in a row, 

Dear old Santa came last night, 

And filled them all, you know, 

Merry Christmas now is here, 

We love old Santa dear, 

Sing then, hurrah for old Santa! 

2 

Sing a song of Santa Claus, 

He is a jolly man, 

Dressed in fur from top to toe, 

Just catch him if you can; 

Down the chimney he will creep, 

When children are asleep, 

Sing then, hurrah for old Santa! 

Chorus: 

Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah for Santa Claus, 
Hurrah, hurrah, we love him well, because 
He brings the very nicest toys, 

For all the girls and boys, 

Hurrah, then, hurrah, for old Santa! 

(They march off.) 


PRIMARY GRADES 


41 


CHRISTMAS WISHES 

Marie Irish 

FOR THREE GIRLS AND TWO BOYS 

Characters 

Nellie Florence Robert Edward Christmas Fairy 

Costumes and General Directions 

Scene : A living room. Discovered, the four children. 

Costumes : The four children in ordinary costume, while the Fairy 
wears a long, white dress, a gilt crown and carries a wand. 

Nellie: Let’s talk about Christmas! 

Florence: And each one of us make a Christmas wish! 

Robert: And see if we get what we wish for! 

Edward: All right. Who’ll wish first? 

(Enter the Fairy.) 

Robert: Oh, there’s somebody! 

Florence: I wonder who it is! 

Nellie: I’m afraid! 

Edward: Pshaw, girls are ’fraid cats! I’ll ask her what her 
name is. 

Fairy (coming toivard children): Do not be afraid of me, 
dear children. I am the queen of the Christmas Fairies. 
(Waves wand.) 

Nellie: Oh, my! 

Florence: Where do you live? 

Robert : Do you help Santa Claus bring Christmas presents ? 

Fairy: I do a great many things. I watch over the good 
boys and girls and see that they get presents at Christmas-time. 

Edward : Oh, I’ve been good all the year! 


42 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Nellie, Robert and Florence: So have we! 

FAIR3/ (laughing): Yes, you have been pretty good. I heard 
you say just now that you were going to make Christmas 
wishes, so I came in to hear them. 

Florence: And will you tell Santa Claus to bring us what 
we wish for, dear Fairy? 

Robert: Oh, please do! 

Fairy: Yes, you may each wish for three things and I’ll see 
that Santa Claus brings them to you. (Waves wand.) 

Nellie (clapping hands): Oh, goody! 

Fairy: Robert, you may begin. 

Robert: Well, I want an air gun and some skates and lots 
of candy and nuts. 

Edward : And I want a good story book and a bob-sled and 
a watch, if you please. 

Fairy: Those are good wishes. (To Nellie:) What do you 
want? 

Nellie: Oh, I want a dolly—a great big one—and a tea-set 
and a pretty gold ring. 

Edward: Now it is your turn, Florence. 

Florence: If I only ask for one thing may I ask for some¬ 
thing that costs a lot of money? 

Fairy: Yes, I think so. 

Florence: Then I wish for a wheel chair. 

Fairy: A wheel chair? Why, they’re for sick people. 
Nellie: You aren’t sick. 

Robert : Why do you ask for a wheel chair, goosey ? 

Florence: It isn’t for me. I want it for a little sick girl 
who lives near here. She’s been sick a long time and can’t 
walk and the doctor says she ought to have a wheel chair, but 
her folks haven’t the money. Please, dear Fairy, can’t I wish 
for it for her? 


PRIMARY GRADES 


43 


Fairy : But you haven’t wished for anything for yourself. 

Florence: I don’t mind if I don’t get any presents this year 
if poor Bessie can have the wheel chair. 

Edward: I think you are silly. 

Fairy : Dear child, you have the true Christmas spirit. You 
think of others rather than yourself. The happiest children 
are those who rather give than receive. Bessie shall have 
her wheel chair and, you, too, shall be remembered by Santa 
Claus. And now, good-bye. (Waves wand and passes out as 
1 curtain goes down.) 


THE SNOWFLAKES AND THE FAIRIES 

Clara J. Denton 

FOR TWENTY-FIVE LITTLE GIRLS 

Characters 

Hilda : A little girl as small as can be found to take the part with spirit 
and correctness. 

Sixteen Snowflakes. 

Eight Christmas Fairies. 

Costumes and General Directions 

Snowflakes : White gowns, short and very full and trimmed with sil¬ 
ver tinsel. White shoes and hosiery. The hair should be gathered into 
a knot at the top of the head and over if should be placed a white tin¬ 
sel-trimmed pointed cap. Require uniformity in these caps. 

Christmas Fairies: Short, full gowns of pale green cheese-cloth. 
They must be alike in material and construction. White shoes and hos¬ 
iery, gauze wings, evergreen wreaths on heads, hair flowing. 

: Ordinary out-door costume. 

: The play is supposed to take place out-doors. Place a small 
een tree in one corner; no other plants or decorations. Lively 





44 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


The Snowflakes enter from as many different points as pos¬ 
sible. They whirl quickly about the stage in time to the music. 
At a certain change in the time, with which they must be made 
familiar, they join their right hands and circle to the right, 
continuing thus until the next pre-arranged change, when they 
join their left hands and circle to the left. During this move¬ 
ment, Hilda enters at right and watches the dance. They 
change again from left to right and continue thus until the 
music ceases, when they stand. 

Hilda (walking about among the Snowflakes as she talks): 
I am so glad you dear Snowflakes have come for Christmas. 
You are so pretty. (Touches one; it sinks to the ground in a 
heap.) There, now, you are gone. I wonder if you would 
all go as easily as that. (Touches another, with the same re¬ 
sult.) O, I’m afraid there will not be any left if I don’t let 
them alone. Dear me, how I hope more will come. I do so 
want to make a big snow Santa Claus; what fun it would be! 
It would seem almost like the real Santa Claus. (Singing 
heard from behind scenes.) Hark! I wonder where that 
music comes from? O, the Snowflakes are going away and 
I am sure someone is coming, so I’ll hide behind that tree. 
(Runs behind tree. As she asks the question about the music, 
the Snowflakes scatter to the four corners of the stage, four 
on a corner, and remain there during the Fairies’ song.) 

Christmas Fairies (enter from right of stage, taking danc¬ 
ing steps in time to the music. They dance to center and 
standing in careless group render the following song): 

SONG 

Air: “we love to make sweet music/’ p. 44, “ Merry 
Melodies* !’ 

We are Christmas Fairies gay, 

Here we play, here we play; 

We are the Christmas Fairies fleet, 

Dancing feet, dancing feet. 

*This book may be secured from the publishers of Thirty New 
Christmas Dialogues and Plays. Price, 15 cents. 

4 



PRIMARY GRADES 


45 


We are Christmas Fairies small, 

Laughing all, laughing all; 

We are Christmas Fairies true, 

Joys renew, joys renew. 

We are Christmas Fairies free, 

Merry be, merry be; 

Christmas Fairies on the wing, 

Peace we bring, peace we bring. 

Christmas Fairies from afar, 

Greet the star, greet the star; 

May the Christmas blessing cheer 
All the year, all the year. 

(At close of song the eight Fairies scatter, two at each corner 
of stage and one on either side of the four Snowflakes on 
the corner.) - 

Hilda (runs from hiding-place to center: stands with clasped 
hands): O! O! O! Just think of it, real, real Fairies. 

(March music is played, girls from corners marching in single 
file to where Hilda stands, turning their face's toward her. 
They will thus form an X with Hilda at its center and four 
Fairies nearest to her. All mark time, except Hilda, who 
stands bewildered and delighted, through six measures of the 
time; then All turn right about with backs to Hilda and re¬ 
peat, marking time as before; then all turn right about and 
face audience, repeating former business. Next right about, 
backs to audience, and repeat business. Next spread out to 
form large circle, and joining right hands, dance around stage 
to right. Then shift to left hands and dance around stage to 
left. Fairies now have large circle. Join left hands while 
Snowflakes join right hands . Fairies dance to left around 
Hilda. Snowflakes circle to right around inner circle. 
Continue thus to end of time. Hilda turns this way and 
that to admire dancers.) 

Hilda (at close of dance): O, you lovely, beautiful creatures. 
Are you here because it is Christmas ? 


46 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Fairies now take their places among Snowflakes ; One 
Fairy between every Two Snowflakes, and All sing . 

Snowflakes and Fairies (sing): 

song 

Air: "jingle of the bells/' p. 30, “Fountain Song Book, 
No. 4* ” 

(Omit Chorus) 

Snowflakes and Fairies, here we sing, 

A message sweet to all we bring: 

Sweet message this, "Good will and peace,” 

On earth today all strife must cease. 

Snowflakes (alone): 

Where'er the Snowflakes white abide. 

There Christmas Fairies love to hide. 

Christmas Fairies (alone): 

And Snowflakes to this day belong, 

As much as do the bells and song. 

White Snowflakes filling all the air, 

Sweet purity and peace declare. 

And every Christmas Fairy brings 
All-loving whispers on its wings. 

Hilda : All my life I have longed to see Santa Claus, but this 
is better than seeing him. O! if I could only keep you with 
me, but I suppose you must go away some time. 

(March music is played, Twelve Girls join hands just as they 
stand and march to where Hilda stands, twelve on each side 
of her. They all march to front of stage, where all mark 
time through three bars of the music. The Eight Fairies and 
Hilda then take two steps backward, still marking time. 
Twelve Snowflakes form into couples, sides to audience, and 
march to rear of stage. The Fairies follow with Hilda, in 
single file. Snowflakes form across rear of stage in single 
file and mark time. Fairies form line in front of Snow- 


*Price, 10 cents, postpaid. 



PRIMARY GRADES 


47 


flakes. Hilda goes to center. Fairies divide line in center. 
March to front. Close line. Mark time. Snowflakes di¬ 
vide line in center. March to front; while Fairies in single 
file march to rear and form in long line, there remaining mo¬ 
tionless.) 

Snowflakes (sing): 

SONG 

Air: “teach us something new today/' p. 22, “Merry 
Melodies' 

While we sing, while we sing, 

Hear the merry chimings ring; 

Hear them now across the snow, 

Ding, dong, ding, dong, now they go. 

Chorus (with bells rung in time with tune behind scenes): 

Yes, hear them chime for this merry Christmas-time, 

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, like a joyous rhyme. 

Yes, joyous rhyme, a joyous rhyme, 

Played for this merry Christmas-time, yes for Christmas-time. 

Now to you we gladly bring 
Thoughts of Christmas while we sing, 

And the chiming of the bells, 

All the story sweet retells. 

Chorus 

While we sing to you today, 

May all sorrow flee away; 

May the Christmas love complete 
In your heart its song repeat. 

Chorus 

(After the singing of the chorus for the third time, the last 
verse is repeated softly and Hilda at its beginning sinks gently 
upon the floor with her chin upon her breast and gradually 
falls asleep. At the conclusion of the song there is soft music. 
Fairies come forward, holding their hands over the sleeping 
child. Snowflakes svuiftly form into bunch at side of stagef) 


48 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


TABLEAU 

(A pretty tableau with lights can easily be arranged here and 
with good effect. While the tableau is in progress have some¬ 
one read the following lines, and let curtain descend slowly.) 

“Into the dream-land, the wonderful dream-land, 

Where the fairies that once lived in fairyland throng, 

And sugar-plum trees bloom both summer and winter, 

And the sleep-time is short and the play-time is long, 
Journeyed our darling, and there she beheld him— 

Who never was seen by the light of the sun: 

Old Santa Claus, brave in green wreaths and red berries, 
His merry eyes sparkling with mischief and fun. 

“With a shout of fat laughter, he showered around her, 

I really can’t tell you how many nice things: 

Books, dollies, and oranges, tea-sets and apples, 

Nuts, balls, and gay ribbons, and pictures and rings; 

Like rain it came pouring, that shower of treasures, 

And the bright moonlight lent it full many a gleam. 

Oh! never brought Christmas a Santa Claus jollier, 
Than the jolly old Santa Claus—seen in a dream!” 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


THE BOASTFUL WEATHERVANE 

Clara J. Denton 

FOR TEN SMALL BOYS 

Characters 

Herald ; Four Weather Sprites ; North,- South, East, and West 
Winds; The Weathervane. 

Costumes and General Directions 

Herald: Tight-fitting suit of green. Or, if more convenient, plain 
black suit freely trimmed with evergreen. 

Four Weather Sprites: Tight-fitting suits of dark gray cambric. 
These four characters must be of nearly the same height; they keep 
closely together at all times; they are concealed “at rise” behind the 
evergreen bushes or trees. 

North, South, East, and West Winds: Long, loose garments of gray 
cambric, made with the dull side out, and coming well up about the 
neck. Stiff, pointed caps of same color and materials must be worn. 
As no two of these characters appear on the stage at the same time, it 
is not essential that their costumes be exactly alike. 

Weathervane: Black blouse and knickerbockers, pointed red cap, red 
hose, black shoes. He must carry himself stiffly, with arms held rigidly 
at sides and when turning head must move whole body. The Winds 
must enter at different places and must exit where they enter. The ac¬ 
tion is supposed to occur out-of-doors. A few evergreen trees may be 
distributed about the stage, but be careful not to crowd these decora¬ 
tions. Sounds of horn are heard before curtain rises. 

Herald (enters at right , slozuly crossing stage and calling 
through megaphone): Hear ye! hear ye! O, all ye winds 
and weathers, all ye sprites and fairies, make Christmas 
weather now for Santa Claus, get busy, get busy, no idlers 
wanted. If Santa Claus doesn't have good weather, you know 
what will happen. (Exit at left.) 


49 


50 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Weather Sprites (emerge from hiding-places and run to cen¬ 
ter, where they stand and all repeat): 

The best in the sky, we now must supply, 

For Christmas is here, and Santa Claus dear. 

Weathervane (enters at left, walking very pompously while 
repeating his lines in a boasting tone ). 

I am the Weathervane; you know, about me; 

Indeed I am sure you can't do without me; 

And now that ’tis Christmas, I mean to supply 
The very best weather found in the sky. 

Weather Sprites: 

The best in the sky 

He means to supply. (They point at him.) 

Weathervane : 

The best in the sky 
I (pompously) mean to supply, 

Good weather I'll bring, of which none can complain, 
For I am the wonderful, great Weathervane. 

My lightest command 

Rules sky, sea and land. (Struts about stiffly.) 

Weather Sprites (to each other): 

Good weather he'll bring (pointing) 

O wonderful thing; 

His lightest command 
Rules sky, sea and land. 

First Weather Sprite: But hark! I hear the North Wind 
coming. 

Second Weather Sprite: Yes, and he’ll set the whole world 
humming. 

North Wind (enters at right, comes swiftly to center, stands 
and recites): 

I am the North Wind, fierce and cold; 

Before me bow the young and bold; 

Though strong and hale the form may be, 

It yields at the lightest touch from me. 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


51 


I am the North Wind; every hour 
Is mine to show my mighty power; 

And nought to me your Christmas Day; 

O’er all the world I hold my sway. 

I rule the earth, the sky, the wave, 

And nothing dares my power to crave; 

And you gay Sprites so slight and small, 

I’ll blow you far beyond recall. (Throzvs his arms 
about wildly. Noises behind scenes. Sprites rush to hiding- 
place.) 

Weathervane (coming close to North Wind) : 

Ho! what is the matter, 

And wherefore this clatter? 

’Tis you North Wind blowing, 

But come, now, be going. (North Wind backs to right.) 
’Tis no place for you when Christmas is near, 

Be off, off, I say, my orders, you hear! 

(Exit North Wind. Weather Sprites reappear.) 

Weathervane (turning toward Sprites): 

He is gone, little Sprites, 

So now we’ll be gay, 

And fine weather we’ll have 
For dear Christmas Day. 

Weather Sprites: 

The South Wind is coming 
His footsteps we hear 
And O, his soft breathing 
Makes us feel queer—queer. 

(Soft music. South Wind enters at left reciting slowly as he 
comes. Sprites sink to ground.) 

South Wind: 

South Wind am I, so soft and kind, 

And I will surely suit your mind. 

The North Wind cold 
Fierce and so bold 
Could not blow for Christmas Day, 

I will make the whole world gay. 


52 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


I am kind 
You will find, 

I will bless 
Yes, yes, yes. 

Weathervane (in a sort of matter-of-fact way): 

South Wind, South Wind, haste away 
You’re not right for Christmas Day; 

See the Weather Sprites are dying, 

Off from here now quick be flying; 

We.must have their help to make 
Snow and ice on land and lake. 

South Wind (apparently offended): 

But who are you that bids me go? 

Weathervane (pompously): 

The Weathervane, I’d have you know. 

But, vanish, South Wind, far away. 

Perhaps I’ll call you back to stay 
Some bright and sunny summer day. 

(Exit South Wind, left.) 

Next I will call the West Wind in; 

We dearly love a merry din. 

(Loud noises behind scenes.) 

Hark! noise and racket now begin; 

The little Sprites he may revive, 

And show us they are still alive. 

(The West Wind enters at right, running, flaps his garment 
about, throws up arms. Weather Sprites rise and run to 
hiding-place. Weathervane chases after West Wind crying, 
“Wait, wait,” but West Wind exits at left. As he disappears 
Weather Sprites emerge and come to center, where they 
stand.) 

Weather Sprites: 

O, Mr. Weathervane, good Mr. Weathervane, 

Why didn’t you stop the West Wind so strong? 

O, Mr. Weathervane, good Mr. Weathervane 
Why did you let him go rattling along? 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


S3 


Weathervane: 

Yes, I am the Weathervane, big and bold, 

But how could I stop what I could not hold. 

Weather Sprites: 

Hark! hark! what is it that’s coming ? 

Surely ’tis an army drumming. 

Weathervane (pompously): 

Though thousands were nearing 
We’ve nought to be fearing; 

I am here—and my power 
Rules the earth every hour. 

(^East Wind enters at right with great rush and noise. 
Weathervane and Weather Sprites fall back to extreme 
left and tumble in a heap on the floor. East Wind struts about 
the stage zvhile reciting his lines.) 

East Wind: 

I am the East Wind, ho! ho! ho! 

How things fly when I blow! blow! blow! 

I am the East Wind, whew! whew! whew! 

Where is the Weathervane big and new? 

I am the East Wind, hi! hi! hi! 

Down went his pride when I drew nigh. 

I am the East Wind, br! br-r! br-r-r! 

Nothing is left when I go whirr-r-rr. (Exit right.) 

(Soft music. Weather Sprites and Weathervane arise 
slowly. Weathervane limps and leans on one side as he 
marches across stage. Weather Sprites are as nimble as 
ever and run to center zvhere they stand and recite.) 

Weather Sprites : 

O, pray, dear Weathervane, do not go, 

We can’t do without you, (sarcastically) don’t you know? 
Get mended up and then come back, 

(Weathervane shakes head.) 
And bring good weather in your track. 

Since you can rule both earth and sky 
Fine weather you should now supply. 

(Exit Weathervane.) 


54 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Weather Sprites: 

That he is gone, we'll have some weather 
Where all can have good times together: 
Christmas weather clear and glad, 

All things bright and nothing sad. 

And when you the weather delights, 
Remember, please, the Weather Sprites. 
Forget the Weathervane so new, 

His boastful words did not come true. 

(Tableau, if desired. Curtain.) 


A VISIT TO SANTA CLAUS 

Marie Irish 

FOR FOUR GIRLS AND FIVE BOYS 

Characters 

Santa Claus, Mrs. Santa Claus, Jack, Nell, Samoseti, Hogopo, 

JoBEWASKI, LOTOTI, NOKOSO. 

Costumes and General Directions 

Costumes: Jack and Nell have ordinary clothes, with warm wraps on, 
as if on a journey. Santa Claus is dressed in warm coat with bright 
sash tied at side, and a bright cap, and wears long white hair and 
white whiskers. Mrs. Santa Claus wears rather short, heavy skirt, 
fancy hood, warm jacket or sweater trimmed with pieces of fur, and 
shoes with fur sewed on. The Eskimo men wear heavy jackets with 
bright scarfs around necks, warm caps, and leggings or felt boots; 
Samoseti and Lototi wear heavy short skirts, leggings, warm jackets 
and the peaked Eskimo hoods. 

The stage should be hung with blankets; and fur rugs and robes are 
thrown over chairs and on the floor to give an effect of the needs of 
Northern climes. At back of stage have a small table with easy chair 
by it. Several other chairs are in room. 

Scene: A room in Santa Claus’ home. Discovered, Santa Claus and 
Mrs. Santa Claus, the latter sitting near front of stage sewing, and 
Santa standing by table. 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


55 


Santa: Busy, as usual, I suppose. You’re always busy. 

Mrs. Santa : Well, I should say so! There are two hundred 
and fifty doll dresses to be finished this week. 

Santa: Must be getting along toward Christmas; let’s see, 
what is the date ? 

Mrs. Santa (getting up and looking at calendar): Today is 
the fourteenth. 

Santa : Whew! Less than two weeks till I have to start out 
and there’s enough to do yet to drive a man crazy. 

Mrs. Santa : Oh, you won’t go crazy, Santa Claus! You’re 
too good natured. I never did see a man take things as easy 
as you do. 

Santa (laughing): No use to fly off the handle. Might as 
well keep smiling. 

Mrs. Santa: Oh, you’d smile in the face of a cyclone or a 
flood! But I’m worried for fear things won’t be done for 
Christmas. 

Santa (laughing): Oh, don’t worry—it’ll make you look old. 
Keep young like me. 

Mrs. Santa: Young! Do you call yourself young? Why, 
several hundred years ago you were— 

Santa: Sh-hh-h-h—no need to tell how old I am. Why, 
there’s some one knocking. (Calls:) Come in. 

'(Enter Jack and Nell.) 

Mrs. Santa : Well, I declare! Come in. Aren’t you a long 
way from home? 

Jack: Yes, and we’ve had a dreadful time getting here, but 
we wanted to visit Santa’s home and see where he made all 
his presents and how he manages. 

Nell : We ’most got froze getting here, and ’most got tipped 
into the sea and smashed by an iceberg, and ’most got stuck 
in the snow but we’re here at last. I hope you’ll let us stay 
and see things. 


56 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Santa (laughing): Oh, you may stay awhile, but you’ll find 
out it isn’t any snap to be Santa Claus. Sit down and get 
warm. 

Mrs. Santa : And after awhile, when Santa Claus isn’t busy 
he’ll show you around. (Jack and Nell sit down.) Now, 
Santa, you’ve been out working and haven’t had your break¬ 
fast yet. Sit down and you can have it right away. (Santa 
sits at table.) 

(Enter Samoseti, with plate of pancakes.) 

Samoseti: Me just bring um in hot cakes. (Puts them on 
table.) They heep good with plenty of hot tallow on. 

Santa: Oh, Samoseti, I don’t like hot tallow—bring me 
some Log Cabin syrup. 

Samoseti : All right, but syrup not good like plenty hot tal¬ 
low. (Smacks her lips several times loudly and exits.) 

Mrs. Santa : I’m having to make Princess dresses for these 
dolls and it’s lots of work to make them fit well—but I s’pose 
they have to be in style. It’s awful the way fashions change. 

(Enter Jobewaski.) 

Jobewaski (bowing low): Oh, Your Honor, a terrible thing 
has happened! A very bad accident— 

Santa (jumping up): What’s the matter? 

Jobewaski: Oh, I’m so distressed, Your Honor! Last night 
—you know it was so cold—it froze so hard, you know—and 
now, dear me, Your Honor, half of our tin horns are frozen 
up so stiff they won’t toot, not one little toot. 

Jack: Oh, isn’t that awful? 

Nell: Why, it’s terrible. 

Mrs. Santa: Oh, we have things like that happen often. 
It’s just enough to set a person crazy. 

Santa: Well, we’ve got to fix them some way or I’ll run 
short on horns. You melt up a lot of bear’s grease and we’ll 
pour hot grease in them. 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


57 


Jobewaski : All right! Maybe that will thaw out the toots. 
You come over to the factory as soon as you can. (Exit.) 

Nell: I should think you would worry yourself thin, Santa 
Claus. You have so many things to look after. 

Santa (sitting down): Oh, I can’t get thin! People like a 
fat Santa Claus best. 

(Enter Hogopo.) 

Hogopo: Oh, if you please, Your Honor, can you come over 
to the doll factory right off quick, or a little sooner? There 
has been a very bad accident and we don’t know what to do. 

Santa (jumping up): What’s the matter now? 

Hogopo: Oh, last night, it was so very cold, so cold, Your 
Honor, that we were afraid our dolls would freeze up. We 
had two thousand of them we had just finished and we were 
so afraid they would all freeze that we built up a hot fire to 
keep them warm, and—and— 

Mrs. Santa: Well, do tell what happened! 

Hogopo: The fire got so hot that it scorched the hair off of 
some of them and some of their eyes melted and ran out and 
( some of their teeth fell out—oh, it’s terrible! (Wrings his 
hands.) 

\ Nell: Oh, the poor, dear dollies! I could just cry. (Santa 
j sits.) 

j Santa: So could I. Don’t see how I’ll get along without 
i them. 

Hogopo: You come over to the factory just as quick as you 
can, Your Honor, and we’ll see how we can fix them up. May¬ 
be we can put new hair on them and some new eyes in. 

Mrs. Santa: I know just as much about dolls as anyone 
does. I’ll go over and see what can be done. ' (Turning to 
Santa Claus:) But you must eat some breakfast. 

Santa: Oh, bless me, I haven’t time to eat when there’s so 
much to look after. (Exit Mrs. Santa and Hogopo.) 




58 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Jack: Why, I’ve always thought it would be fun to be Santa 
Claus but I’ve changed my mind. I should think you’d get 
nervous prostration. 

(Enter Lototi.) 

Lototi : Oh, if you please, oh, my sakes, come quick! Come 
and— 

Santa (jumping up): Well, why don’t you tell what’s the 
matter ? 

Lototi: Oh—poor Prancer, your lovely white reindeer, is 
hurt! 

Jack : Oh, how can you make your Christmas visits without 
your reindeer ? I hope it’s not serious. 

Lototi : The poor pet went down to get a drink and a mean 
old bear up on top of an iceberg threw a chunk of ice at the 
reindeer and knocked him right into the water. 

Santa: Jerusalem! Did you get him out? 

Lototi: Yes, the men have wrapped him in furs and Samo- 
seti and I made him some hot tea and we want you to come 
and look at him as soon as you can. 

Santa: I’ll be there in just a few minutes, when I look my 
mail over. 

Lototi: All right, Your Honor. (Exit.) 

Nell: I hope the reindeer will be all right. 

Santa: I guess it won’t hurt him. That pesky bear needs 
killing! Now I must see what this letter says. (Sits and 
opens letter.) I wonder what it says. (Reads aloud:) 

My Dear Santa Claus : I have heard' that when children write 
you letters the postman sends them way up to the North Pole, where 
you live, and then you bring the children what they ask for when you 
come on Christmas Eve. So, dear Santa Claus, I am going to ask you 
to bring me a Teddy bear that can dance. I am sure ybu can make 
one for me, you are so smart, and I want one awful bad. Please bring 
me a white one that can dance. 

Your loving Lottie Williams. 

Jack: Oh, that would be fine! Have you got one that can 
dance ? 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


59 


Santa: I’ll have to see about it. (Calls:) Samoseti, come 

here. 

(Enter Samoseti.) 

Samoseti: And what is it, Your Highness, that you are 
wanting? (Looking at plate of cakes.) And why didn’t you 
eat your breakfast? Didn’t I make good cakes? 

Santa: Of course you did, Samoseti, just fine, but I’m so 
rushed I can’t eat. I’ll make up for it after Christmas. I 
want you to tell Jobewaski to come here at once. 

Samoseti : All right. (Exit.) 

Nell: Pd love to have a dancing Teddy bear. I hope you’ll 
bring me one for Christmas, too. 

(Enter Jobewaski.) 

Jobewaski: What can I do for you, Your Honor? 

Santa: Why, there’s a little girl in Chicago who wants a 
Teddy bear that can dance. Have we any? 

Jobewaski: Not that can dance, Your Highness. 

Santa (dancing around the room): We must have one that 
can dance, like this. You go to work at it and I’ll be there in 
a few minutes to help you. I guess we can invent one that 
can dance. 

Jobewaski : All right, Your Honor. We can try it and you 
usually make what you set out to, so I think we’ll get a dancing 
Teddy. (Exit.) 

Santa : Well, I must surely get back to work. There’s ’most 
enough of it to swamp me today. 

(Enter Nokoso very hastily.) 

Nokoso (jumping up and down): Oh, come quick, come 
quickety-quick! Help, murder!! 

Santa : What in— ? What is it f 

Nokoso : Your pet seals have got out and are eating up the 
animals that go in the Noah’s Arks. Dating up all the animals! 


60 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Santa (giving him a push): Well, go and get them out! 
Don’t stand here like a screaming Hindoo. Go on. I’ll be 
there in a minute! 

Nokoso: All, all, all right! (Hurried exit.) 

Nell: Oh, I pity you, dear Santa Claus. I think you have 
a terrible time. No wonder your hair is white. 

Jack: I wouldn’t be in your shoes for anything. I’m glad we 
came to visit you, because I always thought you had a splendid 
time going around giving out presents but I see that it isn’t all 
fun. 

Santa: You’re right, it isn’t—but I must go and look after 
things. Come with me and I’ll show you around. (Exeunt 
Santa, Jack and Nell.) 


THE NEXT DAY 

Clara J. Denton 

FOR THREE LITTLE GIRLS 

Characters 

Ada Millie Hilda 

Opening Scene 

Sitting-room. In the center is a low table on which are spread many 
elegant toys in as great a variety as possible. Under the table are also 
larger toys, such as dolls, dolls’ bedsteads and buggies, etc., etc., the 
whole forming a very lavish collection. At the right of table are 
three children’s rocking chairs. The girls are discovered at rise of 
curtain standing around the table, Millie behind table, facing audience. 
Ada and Hilda are at either end, sides of faces to audience. Ada and 
Hilda spend from two to three minutes after the curtain rises in ex¬ 
claiming over the presents with expressions of admiration, such as, 
“Oh, how pretty!” “Isn’t that lovely?” “Just look at this!” “My! 
how fine,” “I never saw anything so pretty,” and so on. Millie remains 
silent during this enthusiasm. 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


61 


Ada (moving aivay and taking seat in one of the rockers): 
You can’t say Santa wasn’t good to you, Millie. 

Hilda (also taking seat in a rocker): Indeed she can’t. Why 
I never had half so many presents in all my whole life. 

Ada: Neither did I in all my Christmases and all my birth¬ 
days put together. But, Millie, you don’t look half as happy 
as I’d feel if I had all those pretty things. 

Millie (leaves table and also sits in a rocker): I’m mad at 
old Santa, just as mad as I can be! 

Ada and Hilda: “Mad at Santa?” O! O! 

Ada : Why, Millie, you ought to be ashamed to talk that way— 
really you ought. 

Hilda : I should think so. Why, Millie, what makes you say 
such things? If you are mad because he brought you so many 
beautiful things, our washerwoman’s little girl will be glad to 
take part of them, I know. 

Ada: Yes, and the man who tends our furnace brought his 
little girl with him last week and she told me she had never 
had a doll in her whole life. I gave her one of mine but it 
wasn’t very pretty. My, but she’d be glad to get that one over 
there with the blue eyes and yellow hair. 

Millie : O, come, stop that kind of talk. I shan’t give away 
one of my things, not one. I haven’t a single thing that I don’t 
want; besides it isn’t good manners to give away your presents. 
I’ve heard my mother say so lots of times. 

Ada: Well, then, if your presents all suit you, why are you 
vexed with dear old Santa? I’m sure I’d love him dearly if he 
had brought me half so many beautiful gifts. 

Millie: What did he bring you? 

Ada: Not much, just a new hair ribbon, a pair of nice gloves, 
some candy and oranges. 

Millie: There, I told you he was mean! He is just as mean 
as he can be not to have brought you more things than that. 


62 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Hilda: But he was good to you, Millie, and you ought not 
to talk that way. It isn’t a bit nice. 

Millie (covering her face with her hands and sobbing): He 
wasn’t good to me at all. 

Ada and Hilda : Why, Millie! 

Millie (removes her hands and zvipes her eyes while she says , 
tearfully): I wrote him a note and told him to surely bring 
me a tiny watch with a bird on the back with diamonds in its 
head and he didn’t do it. 

Hilda : You aren’t big enough to have a watch, Millie. 

Millie (indignantly): I am, too! He brought my cousin 
one last year and she’s only eight years old and I told him to 
bring me one just like hers and he didn’t do it. That’s why 
I say he’s mean. (Sobs again.) 

Ada: I know the reason he didn’t do it, Millie dear, he just 
couldn’t afford it, because my papa said it was awfully hard 
times at Santa’s house this year. That’s the reason I didn’t 
get more presents. 

Millie : Pshaw! I know better than that. Santa can afford 
anything. Why all those things (motions toward table) cost 
more than the watch; besides you should just see the things he 
brought mamma and papa and brother Jack. “Couldn’t afford 
it!”, huh! “Hard times!” He doesn’t know anything about 
them. 

Ada: Maybe there are two Santas. Anyway, my papa said 
he was poor this year and he knows, so if ours was poor and 
yours was rich, there must be two of them, don’t you think so, 
Hilda? 

Millie: Was your Santa rich or poor this year, Hilda? But, 
there can’t be two Santas. I never heard of such a thing! 
Tell us what he brought you Hilda, for I know you are a good 
girl as well as Ada and if he was as stingy with you as he 
was with her, I shall really think there are two Santas. 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


63 


Hilda: We don’t think much about Santa Claus at our house. 

Ada and Millie : You don’t! Didn’t you get anything? 

Hilda : O, yes, my auntie sent me a set of furs, papa gave me 
a nice little writing desk, and mamma a work box, and then 
my cousins sent me pocket handkerchiefs and ribbons and O, 
lots of pretty little things. 

Millie: And didn’t Santa Claus bring you anything? 

Hilda : Don’t see how he could when I haven’t had anything 
but the things I've told about and I know where all of those 
came from. Once when I was a little bit of a girl, mamma told 
me about the Christmas Spirit, which she said was born with 
the dear Christ Child and I love to think of that at Christmas¬ 
time instead of Santa Claus. 

Ada and Millie: Tell us about the Christmas Spirit. 

Hilda : I can’t tell you about it like mamma can. 

Ada: Is it someone that we can see? 

Millie: Or hear? 

Hilda : O, no, it is just a gentle and loving spirit that comes 
into people’s hearts at Christmas-time, and makes everyone 
want to give things to people and to do things for them. 

Ada: Does it come when times are hard just the same? 

Hilda: Of course. 

Millie: But what makes it and how did it begin? I don’t 
see. 

Hilda: Just as I told you before. When the dear Christ 
Child was born into the world,, this spirit came with him and 
has never left it. It comes into our hearts now and dwells 
there, mamma says. 

Millie : But, everybody doesn’t have it, I know that. 

Hilda : Mamma says it’s their own fault if they don’t, when 
they let their hearts get full of pride and envy and all sorts 
of evil feelings; then there is no room for the Christmas Spirit. 




64 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Ada: And I suppose if I have the Christmas Spirit I will be 
happy over my few little presents and not complain because 
I don’t have things as fine and as many of them as Millie has. 
Is that it? 

Hilda: Yes, Ada, that is just the way it makes you feel. 

Millie (rising and going to the table): And I suppose if this 
Christmas Spirit were in my heart, I would be so pleased with 
all these things that I would not complain about the watch. 

(Ada and Hilda come to the table in former positions.) 

Ada : I do not see how anything could be more beautiful than 
these things are and so many of them, too. 

Hilda : Yes, you ought to be happy, Millie, instead of finding 
fault. 

Millie : Why, really, Hilda, these things begin to look beau¬ 
tiful to me. Isn’t it strange ? When I was at the table before, 
I couldn’t bear the sight of them. Really, Hilda, do you sup¬ 
pose the Christmas Spirit is coming into my heart ? 

Hilda: Yes, Millie, I am sure that must be the reason. 

Millie (putting arm around Hilda) : How can I thank you 
enough, dear Hilda? And now, I’ll tell you what I’ll do if 
mamma will let me, and I’m ’most sure she will. We’ll go up 
to the play-room and I’ll get a lot of toys and dolls, good ones 
too, not old, broken ones, and put them in a basket with some 
candy, nuts and oranges, and we’ll take them to the little girls 
who belong to the washerwoman and the furnace-man; that is, 
if you girls will go with me. 

Ada and Hilda (skipping about): Indeed, we will! 

Hilda: That is surely the Christmas Spirit, Millie, dear. 

Ada: Well, I haven’t any toys to give away but I haven’t 
complained because I can’t do as much as you can, Millie, and 
I’ll gladly go along and help carry the basket, so maybe I’ll 
have the Christmas Spirit just the same. 

Millie (putting arm around Ada) : I am sure you have it, 
dear, and now come on. What fun it will be! 

(Exeunt right, running , Millie leading.) 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


65 


CHRISTMAS VISITORS FROM OTHER LANDS 

Marie Irish 

FOR SIX GIRLS AND FOUR BOYS 

Characters 

Olive, Margery, Ethel, a Burman Girl, Japanese Girl, and a Turk¬ 
ish Girl; Chinese Boy, Negro Boy and an Eskimo Boy, and Santa 
Claus. 

Costumes and Opening Scene 

Costumes : Olive, Margery and Ethel in ordinary clothes, sort of 
“dressed up” as if for Christmas; the six children from other lands 
each should be dressed in a costume of the country represented: Negro 
boy with face and hands blacked and wearing tropical garments; 
Eskimo boy in furs; Japanese girl in kimona with bright sash, etc. 
Costumes can easily be arranged by studying related pictures.* Boy 
who represents Santa Claus wears the regulation Santa costume. 

Scene : -Living-room in a home. Discovered, Olive, Margery and Ethel. 

Olive: Oh, isn’t Christmas a splendid day? I think I like it 
better every year. Love holds the world in warm embrace and 
joy shines forth from every face. 

Margery: Yes, Christmas is delightful. It is always a merry 
day, but it is especially so if we have a Christmas tree with 
i shining lights, and tinsel glow, and boughs on which wonder¬ 
ful presents grow. 

Ethel: Christmas is splendid and Christmas trees are delight- 
; ful but the part I like best of all is to have Santa Claus stop for 
a little visit and give us our presents from the tree. Though 
his hair is white, his heart is young, and he J s the jolliest old 
fellow under the sun. 

The Three Girls (in unison ): 

Oh, Christmas mirth and Christmas glee, 

And, oh, the shining Christmas tree; 

But best of all is old Santa Claus 
Who comes to visit the girls and boys. 


*A full description of these, together with illustrations, may also be 
found in book Christmas in Other Lands, price, 25 cents. 





66 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

(Enter the Six Visitors.) 

Six Visitors (bowing lozv): 

Visitors from distant lands have come to share your Christmas 
joys; 

We hope you will bid us welcome—though we’re strange- 
looking girls and boys. 

The Three Girls (bozving lozv): Come in, come in; we’re 
glad to greet you. Turk, Eskimo, Burman, Japanese, China¬ 
man and Negro; we’re pleased, indeed, to meet you. 

Olive: We are glad you came, because Christmas is always 
such a splendid day. 

Margery : And we are going to have a lovely Christmas 
tree. 

Ethel: With dear old Santa Claus to give us the presents. 
You will just love him. 

Six Visitors (bowing again): 

We’ve heard your Christmas is so fine 
We wished to visit you, 

To find out what the day is like, 

And see just what you do. 

(At the beginning of the dialogue Olive, Margery and Ethel 
stand in line at back of room. When visitors enter The Three 
Girls stand along right side of room and Visitors along left 
side. Now Olive goes over to left corner of back, Margery 
and Ethel go to right corner of back, and the Six Visitors 
take their places in line betzveen Olive and the other two girls, 
thus making a line of nine across back of room.) 

Turkish Girl (stepping forward to center of room and bozving 
lozv): I come from Turkey, from very far away, the land of 
scimitar and fez, where girls are kept secluded and know not 
the joy of Christmas Day. If you will excuse me I’ll not re¬ 
move my veil, but I can see what is going on and enjoy your 
festivities just as well. (Returns to place.) 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 67 

Burman Girl (stepping forward): I come from distant Bur¬ 
ma, the land of pagans and of idols, where girls are of little 
account and are sometimes fed to crocodiles. I sometimes 
ride on an elephant’s back out into the jungle. A good mis¬ 
sionary told me of your Christmas and I am anxious to see 
the jolly Santa Claus. The children in Burma could not hang 
up their stockings because they do not wear stockings. (Re¬ 
turns to her place.) 

Eskimo Boy (stepping forward): And from the far north I 
come: from the land of ice and snow, where reindeer live and 
polar bears grow. In winter I live in a hut of ice, but my 
heavy furs keep me warm and nice. I like to hunt seals and I 
like to fish, but to ride on reindeer sleds I like the best. I’ve 
heard of your beautiful Christmas trees and am glad I shall see 
one today. I think it is a shame for you to burn up the colored 
candles for I like to eat things like that—they’re better than 
candy. (Smacks lips humorously and returns to place.) 

Negro Boy (stepping forward): From Africa I come and, 
say, it is warm over there. Why, it’s so warm we don’t wear 
hardly any clothes (pause), except the rings in our ears. Say, 
I’m ’most frozen to death here. The ice and snow you have 
are terrible! I would not have come if I had not wanted to 
see Santa Claus and a Christmas tree. I hope Santa will give 
me a buffalo robe to wrap myself into, so I won’t die. We 
don’t have Christmas trees where I live. Only palm trees 
grow there, and they are so tall Santa Claus could not get the 
presents off them. I think I’ll like Christmas here—if I don’t 
freeze—and I’m sure these are real nice-looking girls. (Points 
with a bow to Olive, Margery and Ethel, then returns to 
place.) 

Japanese Girl (stepping forward): From Japan am I: the 
! land of chrysanthemums and cherry blossoms. We are called 
shy but I am not afraid of the American people: they are so 
kind. I have heard it said that your Christmas is the best one 
in the world and that at the Christmas-time everyone is merry 
and the Christmas spirit fills all hearts with love and good-will. 
I hope your Christmas tree will be as pretty as our cherry trees 
are when in bloom. I hope your tree will last very late be- 




68 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


cause I shall have to sit up all night. I cannot go to bed for 
fear of mussing my hair. At home I sleep on the floor with 
my head on a block of wood so my hair will not get rumpled. , 
Don’t you American girls wish you had to have your hair ^ 
combed only twice a week? (Returns to place.) 

Chinese Boy (stepping forward): Me come from China: 
heep long way off. Me come over to see Santa Claus and allee 
samee Christmas tree. Me hope Santa Claus give me some 
nice plesents like Melican boys and girls gettee. Maybe Santa 
Claus give me a nice ribbon to braid in my pig-tail to makee it 
velly long. I think me have a Melly Christmas with Melican 
boys and girls. Good-bye. (Returns to place.) 

Olive: It is now time for Santa Claus to come. Pray ex¬ 
cuse us, dear visitors, so we may see that all things are ready 
for our festivities. (Exeunt Olive, Margery and Ethel.) 

(Enter Santa Claus.) 

Santa (looking around in great astonishment): Why—why, 
dear me, I thought I was in America but this must either— 
(looking closely at visitors) be Africa or Japan or India or 
some other foreign country! Not an American child here! 
Bless me—I feel sort of strange! I don’t know how to act: 
ought to have a chaperon here to introduce me to these 
strangers. 

Turkish Girl (bowing): Oh, I know you are Santa Claus. 
You look just like the picture of him I saw in a book. 

Japanese Girl: Oh, you dear, nice Santa Claus! (Bows 
low.) 

Burman Girl: I came all the way from India to see you, 
Santa Claus. 

Chinaman: Hello, Santa Claus. 

All (take hold of hands and circle around Santa as they say): 
We journeyed far to see Santa Claus— 

To see Saint Nicholas—because—because— 

We want to see a Christmas tree with toys 
Like you give the ’Merican girls and boys. 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


69 


Santa (shaking hands with each one): So you shall, so you 
shall! I’m glad you are here. I guess old Santa can help you 
have a Merry Christmas. IVe got a fine tree all waiting. Just 
you come with me and see what an American Christmas is like! 
(He leads the way and the Visitors follow him from room.) 


“NO PRESENTS” 

Clara J. Denton 

FOR FIVE BOYS 

Characters 

Harry, Charlie, Billy Jones, Tom Black, Dick Brown. 

Costumes and Opening Scene 

Costumes : Harry and Charlie wear ordinary suits. The three latter 
boys are very ragged and dirty: thorough street gamins. All wear hats. 

Scene: A street in front of Charlie’s home. The stage should, there¬ 
fore, be quite plain. 

Harry (enters at right): Wonder if Charlie’s at home? 
(Puts Ungers to lips and whistles.) There, guess that’ll fetch 
him. 

Charlie (enters at left): Why, hello, Harry, where’re you 
going? 

Harry: To the picture show. Come with me. My uncle 
gave me two tickets, see? (Shows tickets.) 

Charlie : I’d like to awfully well, but I can’t. 

Harry: Can’t! why not? If you have any work to do I’ll 
help you out. Come on (moves toward left), what is it that 
you have to do? 

Charlie: Nothing—nothing at all (holds hands over eyes 
and peers down the street), but—er—you—see, well I have 
company. 


70 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Harry: Well, your company might come along, that is if 
they’ll pay their own way, but what are you looking at ? Ex¬ 
pect more company? 

Charlie: No, indeed, I am watching for the delivery wagon 
from one of the big clothing stores down town. 

Harry: O, got a new suit! But say, Charlie, wouldn’t your 
company buy their own tickets and come on with us? If there 
wasn’t more than one fellow, I wouldn’t mind standing treat 
for him. 

Charlie: Well, there are three. 

Harry : Three! O, that’s fifteen cents: guess I can’t quite do 
that. I have but a quarter. But maybe they’ll like to go and 
will pay their own way. Call ’em out and ask ’em. 

Charlie : I’ve a good notion to call them. Guess if you’d see 
’em once, though, you wouldn’t want them to go with us, pay 
or no pay. 

Harry: What do you mean? Guess any one that’s good 
enough for your company will do to go with me. 

Charlie (hesitatingly): Well—now—maybe I ought not to 
say they are my company, they— 

Harry (interrupting): How queer! What do you mean? 

Charlie (still hesitating): I suppose the best way is to tell 
you all about it. You have heard me speak of my uncle who 
comes here to see us now and then ? 

Harry: O, yes, the one you’re named after, and a jolly, good 
fellow he is, too, I feel sure from things you’ve said about him. 

Charlie: So he is. Well he was here just before Christmas 
and he told us about a society they had formed in his town to 
stop giving Christmas presents. 

Harry: O, my! (Groans.) I wouldn’t like that kind of a 
society. 

Charlie: But, wait: he said there were plenty of children in 
New York where he lives, you know, who had never had a 
Christmas present in their whole lives and— 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


71 


Harry: O, come now, that isn’t true is it? Why I didn’t 
suppose anyone was ever like that. 

Charlie: It’s true, though—and these people in this club I 
am telling you about, instead of loading their gifts upon peo¬ 
ple who don’t need them, spend their money in buying things 
for the poor children: see ? 

Harry : O, yes, I see: that is a good plan—now, isn’t it ? 
Charlie: My father said so, too, and he told my uncle that 
he would do the same thing here, but that he didn’t believe 
there was a boy or girl in this whole town who could truth¬ 
fully say that he or she had never had a Christmas present. 
Harry: I don’t believe there is either. 

Charlie: Uncle Charlie said he felt sure there was and that 
if we set out to look for them, we could find them, so my 
father did set out to look for them. 

Harry: And what did he find? 

Charlie: Well, the three boys in the house are some of those 
he found. Father has ordered some new clothes for them and 
then when they are washed and dressed up clean and nice, he 
will give them their presents—but see (motions to left), they 
are tired of waiting for me and are coming out to see what 
keeps me so long. Now, don’t stare at them. (Billy Jones, 
Tom Black and Dick Brown enter at left, sloivly and timidly. 
Charlie introduces them one by one. They nod at Harry and 
huddle together at left.) 

Charlie (to the boys): The wagon isn’t in sight anywhere, 
yet, boys, but you mustn’t get tired waiting. It will be here 
before long, I’m sure. 

Billy: Der bloke told us ef we’d come here, we’d git sum- 
I thin’ for Christmas, but we hain’t seen nawthin’ yit. 

Charlie: But it’s coming: didn’t I tell you that? 

Tom : Hi, we hain’t goin’ ter wait roun’ here more’n a year. 
Wot ye givin’ us anyways? 

Charlie: Why you told my father that you had never had 
a Christmas present, so if you’ll wait a— 


72 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Dick: No more we hain’t, so we corned, but we wasn’t 
spectin’ to wait for de Christmas present ter be growed. (The 
Ragamuffins laugh.) 

Billy: Guess yer folkses had ter sen’ ter Yurrup arter ’em. 

Tom: Guess dey’ll be ’long sometime nex’ summer wid de 
rosies an’ de posies. 

Harry : O, I say, boys, you mustn’t get out of patience. You 
know this is the day before Christmas and all the stores are 
just rushed to death with business. 

Charlie: Yes, and now just to keep your courage up, I’ll tell 
you that the first thing you are to have is a full new suit from 
top to toe for each one of you. 

Billy 'J O! my eye! 

Tom >• (together): Jerusalem! 

Dick ) Blazes! 

Billy (sticks hands in pockets and dances few steps of jig): 
And then we’ll be de sure-’nuff swells. 

Tom : Dey’ll all want ter lick us when we gits back to de row. 
Dick: Dat’s what dey will. 

Charlie : O, surely they would not hurt you just because you 
look decent and clean! 

Tom: We hain’t said dey would lick us: we jist said dey’d 
want ter, dat’s quite a dif’rent prop’sition, d’ye see? 

Harry : So it is, and I guess you three fellows can take care 
of yourselves. 

Dick: Guess we can! (Doubles up fists and steps up to 
Harry.) Wud ye like to try an’ see wot we kin do f’r our¬ 
selves right now? 

Charlie (taking him by the arm): Come, come, Dick, Harry 
is my friend, and you three boys are my guests, so you— 

Dick (turning on him): Wot’s dat y’ere a-callin’ us now? 
Jist swallow dat straight off. We don’t ’low no callin’ names. 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


73 


Charlie (laughing): Would you mind if anyone called you 
a right down good fellow? 

Dick : Guess not: but ye said as how we was—wot was it 
pards he called us? 

Other Two: Don’t know: never mind! 

Harry : He called you guests and that is a good name. He 
means he took you into his home and— 

Charlie (pointing off toward right): But there comes the 
wagon we are waiting for. Now boys, you’ll soon have your 
new suits on. Come with me and I’ll show you where the 
bathroom is and— 

Dick: Ketch on to de guy: de bathroom! (Rushes off stage 
at right.) 

Tom (to Charlie) : Say, did ye say bathroom f 

Billy: Looka-here, wot do ye take us fer? Wot do ye think 
de likes o’ us wants o’ dat t’ing dey calls a bathroomt Did yer 
say bathroom? 

Charlie: Surely. You don’t think— 

(Tom and Billy each emit an awful yell and rush off at right.) 

Charlie ) together): No bathroom for them. 

Harry ) 

Harry: Now, what will you do? 

Charlie: Father’ll have to look them up again, I suppose. 
I don’t know where they live. 

Harry: But when will your father be here? 

Charlie: Not until almost night. 

Harry: Then come along to the picture show with me. 

Charlie: All right. (Looks off at right.) I see they are 
taking the packages in at the side door. Come into the house 
and wait while I telephone father about the boys. Then we 
can go to the picture show. 


74 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Harry: All right, and the next time your father gets the boys 
here, guess he’ll have to hang around until he has introduced 
them to the bathroom. 

Charlie: Guess he will. 

(Exeunt at left.) 


ALL HIS FAULT 

Clara J. Denton 

FOR TWO BOYS AND ANY NUMBER OF GIRLS 

Characters 

Boys : Santa Claus, and Lord Scribum, The Private Secretary. 

Girls : Mrs. Santa Claus, and Madam Trim, The Doll’s Dressmaker, 
Christmas Fairies —as many as convenient. 

Costumes and Opening Scene 

Santa Claus : The usual one, too well known to need description. 
Mrs. Santa Claus : Handsome house dress for elderly lady. 

Lord Scribum: Neat black suit, carries large account book which he 
consults at fitting times. 

Madam Trim : Elaborate home toilette. 

Christmas Fairies : Short, fluffy, white gowns, trimmed with span¬ 
gles, white gauze wings, long slender wands covered with gilt paper, 
hair flowing. 

Scene: The home of Santa Claus. Ordinary interior. Large, easy 
chair at front-center. Small rocking-chair at right. Ordinary chair 
at left. Santa Claus is “discovered at rise” asleep in the easy chair. 
Soft music until he awakes. 

Mrs. Santa Claus (enters at left , comes down): Dear me! 
Santa asleep yet ? He must have had an unusually hard night. 
Dear old fellow. I never knew him to take so long a nap. I 
wonder if I ought to waken him. (Goes to him.) I don’t see 
why I should, though, for everything is moving along all right. 
The reindeer have been fed and bedded down and the men are 
working hard clearing up around the toy shops. No, there is 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


75 


nothing for you to look after, dear old Santa, so you may as 
well rest. I’ll just give him a kiss and steal away. (Kisses 
him lightly on the forehead. At the same moment Madam 
Trim enters at right and comes down.) 

Santa Claus (starting up): What was that? O, you there, 
Mother? I was dreaming about a field of ripe dandelion blos¬ 
soms and I thought some of the white feathery stuff lit on my 
forehead. It felt so soft and cool. 

Madam Trim : Now, Father Santa, do you pretend you don’t 
know what it was that touched you on the forehead? 

Santa Claus: You seem to know all about it: perhaps you 
were stealing a kiss, taking an unfair advantage of an old man 
in his sleep, eh? I didn’t quite think that of you, Madam Trim. 
(She goes up angrily.) 

Mrs. Santa Claus: Now aren’t you ashamed? You have 
offended her. 

| Santa Claus (laughing heartily): O, don’t you worry, my 
dear. Madam Trim can take a joke: can’t you, Madam Trim? 
(Madam Trim remains at back of stage with back turned.) 
O, come now, turn around and I’ll tell you what I heard about 
that last batch of dolls which you dressed. You won’t, eh? 
Well, that’s all .right then, and now, how are you Mother 
Santa ? Sleep well, last night ? 

Mrs. Santa Claus: No, Santa, you know I never do sleep 
well on Christmas Eve. How can I when I remember all the 
dreadful things to which you are exposed when you are out 
among the mortals. 

Santa Claus: Forget them, my dear, forget them. 

1 Mrs. Santa Claus : Ah, my dear Santa, that is easy enough 
for you to say, (sits in rocking-chair) but, it is quite impossible 
for me to do. It was hard enough in the old days when you 
had to go scurrying down the sooty chimneys, but now, with 
those dreadful wires strung around the houses, and the rail¬ 
roads in the air with their great coaches cutting across your 
pathway every little while, you seem in peril every moment. 




76 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Santa Claus : What of it, my dear ? Do you forget that I 
am immortal ? They cannot kill me, no matter what they do. 

Mrs. Santa Claus : But your immortality cannot keep you 
from getting badly hurt. I do think mortals are the most un¬ 
reasonable creatures. They expect you to visit them every 
year and yet they never do the least thing to make your duties 
easier. 

Santa Claus: Yes, they are inconsistent and unreasonable, 
but that is not the worst thing about them. 

Madam Trim (coming down): You surprise me. Are they 
so very bad ? And yet you said a moment or two ago that they 
had praised my dolls. 

Santa Claus: So you haven’t forgotten that, eh?—and you 
think anyone who praises your dolls must be good? 

Madam Trim: Well, it seems as if— (hesitates and sits in 
chair at left.) 

Santa Claus: O, yes, I understand. If people praise what 
we do, they must be all right, of course. But see what you 
think when you have heard my story. I went to a house last 
night (Lord Scribum enters at right and comes down) where 
there was but one little boy, about five years old. (Turning to¬ 
wards Scribum:) Hallo! there, Scribum! you know the 
place ? 

Lord Scribum (opening hook): Indeed, Father Santa, how 
can I tell ? There are no less than fifty thousand boys five years 
of age. You’ll have to tell me something more definite than 
that. 

Santa Claus: Well, no matter, now, I’ll tell my story first 
and then you may be able to place him. As I said before, he 
was the only child in the house, so there should have been but 
one stocking hanging under the mantel-place, but what do you 
suppose I found? 

All: Give it up. 

Santa Claus: Nothing more nor less than a whole row of 
stockings; the first a very large one, large enough for a 
woman weighing two hundred pounds. 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 77 

Mrs. Santa Claus: So you made a mistake in thinking 
there was only one child there? 

Santa Claus : Do I ever make mistakes ? 

Mrs. Santa Claus: Well, I must admit that I never knew 
you to do so foolish a thing, but then I suppose it is possible. 

Santa Claus : Indeed, it is not possible. If I were a mortal 
I might make mistakes. That is the very thing which they 
are doing most of the time, but, then, the poor things can t 

help it. 

Lord Scribum: Surely then you should pity, not blame, 
them. 

Madam Trim: If I made mistakes about my dolls, there 
would be many unhappy little girls on Christmas morning. 

Mrs. Santa Claus: But, do go on about “those stockings 
all in a row.” What was there about them? Were they hard 
to fill, or what? 

Santa Claus : How you talk! Have you forgotten there is 
nothing hard to fill since I invented my new scoop? No, that 
wasn’t the trouble. The truth is, I didn’t fill the stockings at 

all. 

All: Not fill them at all? Oh! Oh! 

Santa Claus: Now, don’t be in a hurry to blame me. I 
didn’t fill them because that bad little boy tried to cheat me. 

Madam Trim : Cheat you! Do tell us how he did it. I have 
heard of cheating, but I have never understood just how it 
was done. 

Santa Claus: I’ll explain. This smart little boy had hung 
up his mother’s stocking, the hired girl’s stocking, those be¬ 
longing to his mother’s two guests and then his own at the 
end of the line, making five in all. He thought I would fill 
the whole five and as he had hung up all the stockings, he 
could claim all the presents. He thought he could cheat me. 
v Cheat old Santa Claus, indeed! Poor, foolish, little boy. 


78 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Lord Scribum: He could hardly be expected to know that 
you could see the impressions of his fingers on the stockings. 
Since he couldn’t see them, he wouldn’t think of their being 
there. 

Santa Claus: True, that is the way mortals judge: poor, 
foolish things. 

Mrs. Santa Claus: But you said a few moments ago that 
you didn’t fill the stockings. I hope you didn’t go away with¬ 
out giving the poor, little fellow anything? 

Santa Claus : “Poor little fellow” indeed! But that’s the 
woman of it. 

Mrs. Santa Claus: Never mind about the “woman of it”, 
but tell me just what you did for him. 

Santa Claus: I had planned to put in his stockings an order 
for an automobile and a pony, for I thought his father was 
rich enough to feed the pony and also to keep the automobile 
in gasoline and rubber tires, but— 

Mrs. Santa Claus (jumping up): O, you don’t mean to say 
you didn’t carry out your plans! 

Santa Claus: Of course, I didn’t. I just put a little candy 
and a sour orange in the smallest stocking and left the others 
hanging there empty. 

Mrs. Santa Claus (wrings her hands and walks floor): Oh! 
Oh! Father Santa, I never would have believed that you could 
be so cruel. 

Lord Scribum (who has been writing in book during Mrs. 
Santa Claus’ speech): There, I have made a note of it: 
“Five-year-old boy tries to cheat and gets nothing but a little 
candy and a sour orange.” But do tell me what you did with 
the two orders which you had meant for him, for I know you 
had to put them somewhere. 

Santa Claus: Well, there were two other little boys down 
the same street who had never done a mean or an underhand 
thing in their lives, so I gave the pony to one of the boys and 
the auto to the other. (Music heard from behind scenes.) 




INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


79 


Lord Scribum : There, the Christmas Fairies are coming 
with a message. They are on hand early this morning. (Exit 
at right, running.) 

Madam Trim : O, perhaps they are bringing me a message 
about some of my beautiful dolls. (Exit at left.) 

Mrs. Santa Claus : I hope it is a good message; but then, 
mortals are so queer that one never knows what to expect. 

Santa Claus (gruffly): What if they are queer, they should 
be happy and kind on Christmas morning, at least. (Music 
ceases. Enter Lord Scribum and Two Fairies, followed by 
Madam Trim.) 

Lord Scribum : Dear Father Santa, I am sorry to say that 
the Christmas Fairies bring bad news this morning. The little 
boy to whom you gave the auto and whom you thought so 
good has been made very selfish and disagreeable by his beau¬ 
tiful present. 

Santa Claus (groaning): There it goes: just as I expected. 
Well, it’s all the fault of the bad boy who tried to cheat me. 

Mrs. Santa Claus : O Father Santa, isn’t it a little unfair to 
blame him for the other boy’s badness ? 

Santa Claus: No. You know perfectly well that trouble 
always comes when I try to change presents and if the cheating 
boy isn’t to blame for that, I’d like to know who is. (Music 
repeated.) 

Lord Scribum : Just listen to that, the Fairies again. Hope 
it is good news this time. (Exit at right, running.) 

Madam Trim : O, I’ll surely hear something about my dolls 
this time. (Starts off at right.) 

Santa Claus : Come back, Madam Trim. What is the use of 
running out every time? Lord Scribum will bring the news. 
Besides, if you are very observing, you can tell the moment the 
Fairies enter whether or not they bring good news. (Enter 
Lord Scribum and Fairies at right. Music ceases.) O, I see 
more bad news. Well, out with it! 




80 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

Lord Scribum: How can you be so sure, Father Santa? 

Santa Claus: O, I know. Out with it, I say! 

Lord Scribum : The Christmas Fairies report that the little 
boy has been thrown from the pony which you gave him and 
that, though no bones are broken, he is pretty badly bruised. 
(Exit Fairies, running.) 

Santa Claus: There it is again. Well, if he had broken his 
neck, it would have been the fault of the boy who tried to cheat 
me. 

Mrs. Santa Claus: Well, never mind dear, try to sleep 
again. That bad boy has upset your nerves. 

Santa Claus : How can I sleep with all these things on my 
mind ? Pretty soon, too, we’ll be getting news of all the misfit 
presents. Ah! I tell you, it’s no light task, this looking after a 
lot of discontented human beings. Sometimes I think Fll try to 
sell out. (Settles down in chair , again; and closes eyes. Mad¬ 
am Trim and Mrs, Santa Claus walk apart.) 

Madam Trim : Dear Mother Santa, there is one thing which 
I’d like to ask you about. 

Mrs. Santa Claus : Speak out, dear, you know I am always 
glad to help you. 

Madam Trim: How does Santa know at once whether the 
Fairies are bringing good news or bad? (Music repeated. 
Lord Scribum runs out at right.) 

Mrs. Santa Claus: That is his secret, my dear, and I must 
not reveal it, even to you, but the Fairies are coming again. 
Watch them and you may be able to discover it for yourself. 

Santa Claus (sitting up): More messages. If it’s bad news 
again, I’ll not listen to it. I’m tired of being found fault with. 
(Music ceases. Enter Lord Scribum and Fairies as before, 
but this time the Fairies are ahead and are running.) Ho! 
ho! good news this time! Well, it’s welcome, I tell you. 
(Fairies kneel at his feet.) Let us have it quick, Lord 
Scribum. 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


81 


Lord Scribum : Yes, Father Santa, good news, indeed. The 
naughty little boy has confessed to his mother the whole of the 
trick which he tried to play on you and he has promised never, 
never, again to try to cheat anyone, even in the smallest thing. 

Santa Claus: Yes, that is, indeed, good news. No boy or 
girl could make a better resolution. No one loves a cheater, 
and after they have successfully cheated in small things, they 
are soon not ashamed to cheat in larger ones. And now, 
Madam Trim, tell me, have you discovered how I know when 
good news is coming? 

Madam Trim : Yes, it was simple enough when I watched 
closely. 

Santa Claus : And that is the thing which so few people do: 
watch closely. Yes, indeed, as you say, it was simple enough, 
for the bearers of good news always come gladly and quickly. 
Now, Lord Scribum, put it down in your book— (Lord 
Scribum opens book and writes) that this little boy who tried 
to cheat old Santa is forgiven, even though some disagreeable 
things were “all his fault.’’ 

(Enter all the Fairies running, they come to center and stand 
in careless group while singing.) 

Fairies (sing): 

fairies' song 

Air: “baby mine." 

’Tis a happy Christmas morning, 

All are glad, all are glad; 

Christmas greens the world’s adorning, 

Nothing’s sad, nothing’s sad. 

Santa dear, each fairy brings. 

All good news, on swiftest wings, 

All the world with joy now rings, 

All are glad, all are glad. 

Every heart rejoicing sings, 

None are sad, none are sad, 

All are glad. 


82 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


On this happy Christmas morning, 

Santa rest, Santa rest, 

Christmas greens the world’s adorning 
They are best, they are best. 

Yes, dear Santa, you have won 
Rest from labors nobly done, 

We will guard you, everyone, 

Rest, dear Santa, rest, rest. 

(Santa leans back and closes eyes.) 

Sleep, until the set of sun, 

Rest, rest, that is best, best. 

Santa rest. 

(Fairies form in circle around Santa Claus and wave wands i 
soft music. Other characters group at left. Tableau with 
lights. Slow curtain.) 


CHRISTMAS INFLUENCE 

Marie Irish 

FOR FIVE GIRLS AND FOUR BOYS 

Characters 

Miser, Ben and Lottie, Giant Selfishness and Giant Hard-heart; 
The Christmas Fairies: Love, Joy, Peace and Unselfishness. 

Costumes and Scenery 

Costumes: The Miser is very poorly dressed; the Fairies are attired 
in white, with gilt crowns, and carrying wands covered with gilt paper; 
Ben and Lottie are rather poorly dressed, wearing wraps; Giants Self¬ 
ishness and Hard-heart: hats in turban effect, made of pasteboard cov¬ 
ered with black cloth, leggings, gray or tan jackets and trousers 
trimmed with bands of black, black handkerchiefs around necks. 


Scene: Poorly furnished room in Miser’s home. Discovered, the 
Miser. j 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


83 


Miser : Ha, ’tis Christmas eve! I suppose most people have 
spent a lot of money for Christmas presents—but not I 
(laughs). I believe in saving—don’t catch me wasting my 
earnings on Christmas nonsense. Guess I’ll look at my gold. 
(Looks cautiously around room to be sure no one is watching, 
pretends to lock the door, etc., then from a box under table 
takes out a couple of bags tilled with something to represent 
money. Sits at table and is about to open bags.) Ha, this is 
better than buying presents. (A knock is heard. Miser jumps 
up and hastily throws bags into box, then goes over to door.) 
Who’s there ? Huh ? Oh ! (Opens door.) 

(Enter Ben and Lottie.) 

Ben : Uncle Edward, our mother sent us to you to ask for a 
little help because she is sick and hasn’t been able to work. 

Lottie : And our coal is ’most gone, and the rent is due, and 
tomorrow is Christmas. 

Miser: Humph! I can’t help it. 

Ben : And we haven’t anything for our Christmas dinner. 
Lottie: And mamma couldn’t buy us any Christmas presents. 
Miser: You don’t need any. 

Ben : And mother thought because it is Christmas maybe you 
would help us a little. 

Miser : I don’t see why you come to me. It isn’t my trouble. 

Lottie : Mamma thought maybe the Christmas spirit in your 
heart would make you sorry for us, ’cause it’s more blessed to 
give than to receive, you know. 

Miser: Stuff and nonsense! I don’t believe in Christmas. 
Tell your mother I don’t believe in giving. She’ll get along 
somehow. 

Ben : But, Uncle Edward, won’t— 

Miser: No more begging. Go tell your mother what I say. 
Ben (sadly): I hope you’ll have a merry Christmas. (Exeunt, 
Lottie wiping her eyes.) 


84 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

Miser: The idea! This Christmas talk makes me tired. 
Christmas spirit in my heart, indeed! Ha, ha, ha! Guess I’ll 
take a nap. (Lays head on the table and goes to sleep.) 

(Enter Giant Selfishness.) 

Giant Selfishness: Ho, here is one of my slaves! Giant 
Selfishness rules him completely. Think of yourself. Work 
for yourself. Live for yourself. Those are my principles and 
when people once begin to practice them they are soon in my 
power. Christmas with its teachings of loving and giving hurts 
my business but this person (taps Miser on shoulder) never 
goes back on Giant Selfishness (laughs). 

(Enter Giant Hard-heart.) 

Giant Hard-heart: What! You here? 

Giant Selfishness : Sure! What are you here for ? 

Giant Hard-heart: Oh, I just looked in to see this victim of 
mine. Folks are apt to get rather soft-hearted at Christmas¬ 
time : but I guess this fellow is all right. There is such a lot 
of talk about joy and good-will, and the Christmas spirit, and 
giving going around that I’m afraid some of my followers will 
catch it. 

Giant Selfishness : How is your work prospering, anyhow, 
brother ? 

Giant Hard-heart : Fine! fine! I tell you Giant Hard-heart 
is powerful. If people will but listen to my teachings I can 
make them so hard-hearted that they won’t listen to any of this 
soft talk about Christmas. 

Giant Selfishness: Yes, we are a mighty pair. But come, 
let us be going. There are others to visit. (Exeunt, arm in 
arm.) 

(Enter The Fairies.)' 

Love: Sisters, we see before us a sad victim of Giant Selfish¬ 
ness and Giant Hard-heart. Let us kindly endeavor to cast our 
spell upon him. 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


85 


All (waving wands): Let us wave, wave, wave and cast our 
tender spell upon him. 

Joy (stepping up and waving wand over Miser) : I bring to 
him the gift of joy. Christmas should be the merriest time of 
all the year. It is my mission to banish sadness, to ease sorrow, 
to bring gladness, to cause laughter. Let joy prevail on Christ¬ 
mas Day and may every heart be merry. (Waves zvand again.) 
Come, joy, come! (Steps back to place by others.) 

Peace (stepping forward and waving wand over Miser) : I 
bring to him the sweet influence of peace—the peace the angels 
heralded upon the Judean hills at the coming of the Christ-child. 
My mission it is to banish anger, to overcome strife, to eradicate 
envy, hard feeling and bitterness. To be at peace with thyself, 
thy neighbors, and with the world is one of the blessings of the 
Christmastide. Let peace prevail and may every heart be filled 
with good-will. (Waves wand.) Come, peace, come! (Steps 
back to place by others.) 

Unselfishness (stepping forward and waving wand over 
Miser) : I will bestow upon this hardened heart the sweet in¬ 
fluence of unselfishness. The happiest people and the noblest 
lives are those who give lavishly of their time, their sympathy, 
and their love to lessen human suffering. To unselfishly forget 
self in a desire to aid and cheer others is the highest attainment 
of true living. It is what we give unto the world that makes 
us what we are. Let us live for others and not for self. Come, 
unselfishness, come! (Waves wand, then returns to place.) 

Love (stepping forward and zvaving wand over Miser) : I 
bring the greatest gift of all—the gift of love. When love 
fills the heart then peace, joy and unselfishness find ready 
access, for love leads to the perfection of them all. Where 
love reigns there glows a sunshine that sheds its light upon all 
with whom we come in contact, brightening their lives and 
making all the world akin. Let this sunlight shine from all 
lives at the blessed Christmas-time. Come, love, come! 
(Waves wand again, then steps back to place.) 


86 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

All the Fairies (waving wands): 

Come, peace and joy, come, unselfishness and love; 

Come, fill this heart with the spirit of the Christ- 
child from above. 

(Fairies march around Miser in a circle } then exeunt.) 

Miser (waking up zvith a start): Oh, what a dream I had— 
a dream of mother and the old home! I dreamed of the old 
fireplace and of hanging up my stocking on Christmas Eve. 
What happy days those were! How fond I was of Christmas! 
(Rises and zvalks hack and forth). I wonder what’s the matter 
with me. I feel as if I’d like to enjoy Christmas again. I 
wish I hadn’t refused to help sister and her children. 

(Enter Giant Selfishness.) 

Giant Selfishness : Christmas is a humbug—a farce! Live 
for yourself! Don’t waste your substance in Christmas giving. 

Miser (in surprise): Who are you? 

Giant Selfishness: I am Giant Selfishness and you are one 
of my slaves. Don’t let any Christmas foolishness get into 
your head—banish it! 

(Enter Giant Hard-heart.) 

Miser: And who are youf 

Giant Hard-heart : I am Giant Hard-heart and you are one 
of my most devoted followers. Refuse all inclinations to do 
good at Christmas-time: it’s all a fake! Harden your heart to 
all silly promptings of the Christmas spirit. 

Miser (entreatingly): No, no, I feel that I want to enjoy 
another Christmas. 

Both Giants : No! no! don’t do it! 

(Enter Fairies.) 

Joy (waving zvand): Let joy fill your heart. 

Peace (waving wand): And peace. 

Unselfishness (waving wand): And unselfishness. 

Love (waving wand): And love. 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


87 


All the Fairies: Then shalt thou know the blessedness of 
living for others and ministering unto humanity. (To the 
Giants, waving wands at them:) Begone, wicked Giants. 

Love: Too long has this hard heart been under your in¬ 
fluence. Now shall it be filled with the tender spirit of 
Christmas. 

All the Fairies (waving wands at Giants) : Avaunt! 
Hence! Begone! (The Giants crouch in fear and slink from 
room.) 

Miser (joyfidly, placing hand over heart): My heart is 
changed. I shall take part in the Christmas festivities. I shall 
give—I shall make people happy—I shall do some good in the 
world. Let me start now, before it is too late. 

Fairies (waving wands): And in ministering unto others 
thou shalt know the joy of the true living. A merry Christmas 
to you! 

Curtain 


CHRISTMAS SYMPATHY 

Marie Irish 

FOR FOUR BOYS 

Characters 

Dan, the cripple; Harry; Willis; Clarence. 

Costumes and Scenery 

At about center and somewhat to back of stage Dan sits with a crutch 
beside him, one leg done up and his left arm inside his coat, with sleeve 
hanging empty as if arm were gone. Suspended by a cord about his 
neck he has a box with various articles in it. The other boys wear 
neat, ordinary clothes. 

Scene : The street. Discovered, Dan with box of goods. 


88 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


(Enter Harry.) 

Harry (standing at corner of front of stage and holding money 
out in his hand): I have a dollar that Uncle William gave me 
to spend for Christmas. I wonder what I should do with it. 

I might buy Christmas presents for mother and Mabel but, 
pshaw, they’ll get presents enough! (Thinks.) Guess I’ll get 
me a bag of peanuts and spend the rest for a knife. I don’t 
really need a new knife but they’ve got some dandies at 
Kerr’s. Think I’ll have to get one. I suppose mother and ) 
Mabel will give me presents but they won’t mind if I don’t buy 
them anything for Christmas. (Looks toward Dan.) Ha! 
Who is this ? 

Dan : Right this way for Christmas presents. Here’s where 
you get your bargains. Come and look at these neat presents. 

Harry: I wonder what he’s selling. Some junk stuff I sup¬ 
pose. (Goes over to Dan’s side.) 

Dan: Can’t I sell you something? I’ve got some useful 
articles. Here’s a nice pin-cushion—ladies sure like it. Fine 
pencils, combs, brushes, shoe strings. Here’s a nice collar for 
a lady. (Shozvs his goods as he talks.) Don’t you want to buy 
something for some of your folks? 

Harry: No, I don’t want anything. Say, you’re pretty bad 
off, though, aren’t you? 

Dan (cheerfully): Yes, I was hurt in an accident a year ago. 
All I can do now is something like this—can’t work. But it 
might have been worse. (Laughs.) Say, I wish you’d buy 
something. I’m trying to earn enough to pay the rent this 
month and buy my mother a dress for Christmas. Won’t you 
buy something? 

Harry : Oh, no, I don’t want any of those things. I’m sorry 
you’re so bad off. Hope you’ll get your mother’s dress. 
(Comes down toward front of stage, on opposite side from 
which he entered, and stops.) My, that chap has a pretty tough 
time of it. I might have bought something but I want that 
knife and believe in looking out for Number One. I’m sorry 
for him, though. (Looks back at Dan, then goes off stage.) 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


89 


(Enter Willis.) 

Willis (standing at corner of stage, near front): I have 
seventy-five cents, all my own to do what I please with. Some 
folks would not think that was much but it seems like quite a 
lot to me. I wonder how I’ll spend it. (Thinks.) Guess I’ll 
get Christmas presents for mother, and Nan, and Bobby, and 
spend the rest for a ticket to the picture show. That only 
costs ten cents. (Notices Dan.) Hello, what’s this fellow 
doing? (Goes up to Dan’s side.) 

Dan : Right this way for Christmas presents. Here’s where 
you get your Christmas bargains. Come up and look at these 
nice presents. 

Willis : You must be cold sitting here on the street. 

Dan (smiling): Oh, a little, but I don’t mind that if I can 
sell my goods. Won’t you buy something? I’m trying to earn 
money enough to buy my mother a Christmas present—after 
I get the rent paid. I’ve got some nice things. (Shows them.) 
Combs, pencils, shoe strings, fancy pins. Here’s a nice pin¬ 
cushion. Won’t you buy something for some of your folks? 

Willis (coming slightly toward front): I feel sorry for this 
poor fellow. I shouldn’t think his Christmas could be very 
merry. I wish I could help him some. I want to get a vase 
that I saw at the Racket for mother—that was thirty-five 
cents—and a couple of toys for Nan and Bobby would be 
twenty cents more. That will leave me twenty cents. Mother 
says we ought to try to make folks happy at Christmas so I’m 
going to buy something from this poor boy. I don’t care for 
the picture show. (Goes back to Dan.) I believe I want one 
of your combs. Have you a twenty-cent one? We break lots 
of combs at our house. 

Dan (happily): Yes, of course. Here’s a good one. A fine 
one for twenty cents. I’m much obliged to you. (Takes money 
from Willis and gives him change.) Here you are. 

Willis: Thank you, and I hope you’ll have a merry Christ¬ 
mas and that you can get your mother’s dress for her. (Goes 
on across stage, coming somewhat to front and stopping.) We 


90 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


can make use of this comb all right and I am glad I helped the 
poor boy a little. I know mother will be glad, too. (Looks 
back at Dan and then goes off.) 

Dan : My, that boy was nice! Every little helps and he was 
so pleasant about it that he cheered me a whole lot. It seems 
kind of hard sitting here when a fellow can’t sell anything. 

(Enter Clarence.) 

Clarence (stopping at corner of front): My, I’m happy! I’ve 
fifty cents to do just what I please with. Isn’t that fine? I 
know what I’m going to do with it, too. My mother just loves 
books and I’m going to buy her a book with this fifty cents, for 
a Christmas present. She’ll be awful surprised, ’cause she 
doesn’t know I have the money. (Notices Dan.) Oh, I 
wonder what this boy is selling. 

Dan : Right this way for Christmas presents. Here’s where 
you get your Christmas bargains. Come up and look at these 
neat presents. 

Clarence : Guess I’ll see what he has. (Goes over to Dan’s 
side.) 

Dan: Don’t you want to buy some Christmas presents? I’ve 
got some real nice ones. Collars, pin-cushions, pins, combs, 
thimbles, pencils—lots of things. What can I sell you ? They’re 
bargains! 

Clarence: Oh, I guess I don’t want anything. You have 
kind of a hard time of it, though, don’t you ? Must have been 
badly hurt. 

Dan (cheerfully): Yes, I was ’most killed. It makes it hard 
for me to earn money now—but I get along pretty well. I 
want to do well this week because I’m trying to get enough 
money to buy mother a dress for Christmas. She’d be awful 
glad. 

Clarence (quickly): Say, I guess I’ll take one of those pin¬ 
cushions. How much are they ? And how much are those 
fancy pins ? And how much is that needle-book ? 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


91 


Dan : Pin-cushion, twenty-five; pins, ten cents; needles, 
fifteen. Won’t you take some of my things? They make good 
presents. 

Clarence : Yes, I’ll take the cushion and the pins and needles. 
I guess my mother wants ’em all. And I hope you’ll have a 
merry Christmas. (Pays, takes things and comes down to 
front and stops.) There’s all my fifty cents gone, but I know 
mother will be glad when I tell her about it. Everybody ought 
to be happy at Christmas and I know she’ll be glad I helped 
make that boy and his mother happy. I know ma would like 
the book best, but she’d rather do some good at Christmas—and 
anyway it’s better to give than to receive, and I am glad I gave 
that boy a little lift. (Goes out happily.) 


“THE LOOK OF THINGS” 

Clara J. Denton 

FOR THREE GIRLS AND ANY NUMBER OF BOYS AND GIRLS FOR 
UTILITY PARTS 

Characters 

Eleanor, the daughter of a farmer; Jane, the maid of all work; 
Mother of Eleanor ; Neighboring Boys and Girls, as many as con¬ 
venient and practical: they have no lines. 

Costumes 

Eleanor: First appearance in neat house dress; second appearance, 
handsome party gown. 

Jane: Calico gown, gingham apron. This character should be taller 
than Eleanor. 

Mother of Eleanor : Hat, cloak and furs. 

Other Girls: Handsome party gowns. 

Boys: Becoming suits. 

Scene 

Handsome interior. At upper right, large screen. Table with brightly 
burning lamp upon it, near center of stage. Books and papers on the 
table. Large arm-chair near table. 


92 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

Eleanor (discovered seated in the arm-chair, holding a pet 
kitten and reading. Soft music until she speaks): This may 
be a very fine story, but it doesn’t seem one bit nice tonight. 
I don’t believe anything could seem just right when you are 
left all alone on Christmas Eve. I wish I believed in Santa 
Claus, yet. Then, I could be listening and watching for him. 
(Lays book on table and rises, still holding kitten.) Dear me, 
such a lot of books and papers to choose from, but there is just 
no use trying to read anything. I can’t tell one single word 
that was on the page that I read last. I don’t care if you do 
like to read, you can’t get interested when people aren’t good 
to you. I never knew father and mother to treat me this way 
before, and I can’t think what has made them do it. (Raises 
voice.) Jane, what time did you say father and mother went 
away? 

Jane (from within): Guess, I didn’t say, ’cause I’m sure I 
don’t know. 

Eleanor: When did they say they’d be back? 

Jane: They didn’t say a thing about it. 

Eleanor (impatiently): Why didn’t you ask them where they 
were going so that you could have told me? (No answer.) 
Jane! 

Jane : I’m here. 

Eleanor: What are you doing? 

Jane: Working. 

Eleanor (rises, puts kitten in chair, walks about the room, 
yawns, picks up ornaments while talking, straightens chairs, or 
makes any other restless movements): I do think this is just 
the meanest thing, to leave me this way. I just believe they 
sent me out on that errand on purpose to get me out of the way 
so that they could slip off without me. (Raises voice.) Jane! 

Jane (from within): Yes. 

Eleanor : Are you going to stay out in that kitchen all night ? 
I never knew you to be so long doing up the work. 

Jane: O, I’m almost through. 



INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


93 


Eleanor : I’m coming out to help you. 

Jane : No, don’t, it’s cold out here. 

Eleanor: Well, it oughtn’t to be cold. You’ll be sick if you 
work in the cold. Fix up the fire and then I’ll come out. 

Jane: No, no, I’ve got to go down cellar; get something to 
read and I’ll be in pretty soon. 

Eleanor: I’ve tried to read and I can’t. I keep wondering 
all the time where father and mother have gone and how soon 
they will be back. (Sits in chair and takes up hook and kitten 
again: soft music for about three minutes. She then rises sud¬ 
denly, throws hook on table and calls:) I’m going to bed, Jane. 

Jane (entering at right): Fiddlesticks, what’s the use in going 
to bed with the chickens ? Should think you might find some¬ 
thing to amuse you. Did you get them paper dolls all cut out? 

Eleanor (with animation): O, no, I’ll go upstairs and get 
them. Will you help me? 

Jane: Maybe, after awhile. (Eleanor exits at left, taking 
kitten with her.) It must be nearly seven o’clock. I must see. 
(Clock behind scenes strikes seven, she listens as if counting 
strokes.) Just seven, now. I hope she will take a notion to do 
it. If she’s contrary about it, I can’t manager her. Her mother 
never seems to think of that. Well, I hain’t never failed to get 
her ter do what I wanted ter yet, an’ I s’pose that’s why her 
ma feels so sure of me. 

Eleanor (enters at left): Jane, the kitten got away from me 
and I couldn’t find my dolls. 

Jane : Well, never mind the kitten. She’ll come back when 
she gits ready, an’ how did you ’spect to find your dolls in the 
dark? 

Eleanor: I thought I knew where they were. (Exit Jane 
at left.) You needn’t go after them, Jane. I’d rather talk to 
you. Please come back, Jane. (To herself:) She won’t come. 
She’s just like father and mother, bound to leave me alone. 
(Enter Jane at left, carrying party gozun.) What in the world 
are you going to do with my new dress ? 


94 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Jane : Yer mother told me to slip it on ye an* see ef the hooks 
an’ eyes was all right. She’s afraid they hain’t. 

Eleanor: All right, that will be great fun. I’ll play I’m 
dressing for a party. (She takes the dress and slips behind 
scenes, talking all the while and presently emerges, wearing 
the party gown. Jane fastens it zvhile the talk between them ) 
goes on.) I don’t see what mother made this dress for, do you, 
Jane? 

Jane: So’s you’ll have something to wear ef ye go to a party, 
of course. 

Eleanor: But, I don’t go to any parties. I just stay right 
here at home, on this poky old farm and don’t see anything nor 
anybody, and now for father and mother to go off and leave 
me on Christmas Eve is just the worst of it all. I didn’t think 
they could be so mean! 

Jane : O, you mustn’t talk that way about them: they hain’t 
mean, they hain’t many little girls with such a good father and 
mother, I tell you. 

Eleanor : If they’re so good why did they run away from me ? 
Jane : Mebbe they had- to go on business. 

Eleanor : Then they might have told me so. 

Jane: There now, the dress is all right. Tain’t needin’ a 
single thing done to it. Here, let me tie these ribbons on your 
hair to match the dress so we’ll see jist how you’d look ef you 
was a-goin’ to a party. (Laughter behind scenes and noise of 
stamping feet.) 

Eleanor: Why, Jane, what’s all that noise? Let me go and 
see. 

Jane (holding on to her): No, wait. If there’s anybody there, 
how you’d look with one ribbon on and one ribbon off! 
(Eleanor tries to pull azvay.) Wait, I say, you can’t go like 
that! (As she ties the last knot, she exclaims, There, now! 
and the Boys and Girls run in at right shouting Merry Christ¬ 
mas and rush toward Eleanor. Great excitement and confusion 
until Eleanor’s Mother enters.) 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


95 


Eleanor (runs to Mother and throws arms about her): O, 
mother, have you and father been away to get the girls and 
boys? 

Mother: Yes, dear, we sent the invitations out several days 
ago and then to make sure of their all being here, we drove 
around the country tonight after them. (Spreading arms out 
toward Boys and Girls:) And here they all are! 

Eleanor: O, mother dear, can you ever forgive me? For, 
while you have been riding around in the cold doing this lovely 
thing for me, I have been scolding and complaining about you 
and father for leaving me alone. But, oh, I was so lonesome, 
and Jane—Jane seemed so busy, even she wouldn’t keep me 
company. 

Mother (putting arms around EleanorJ: Never mind, dear, 
it is all right now. I forgive you, of course. 

Eleanor: But I don’t forgive myself so easily. I ought to 
have known it was all right on youu part, even if it did look 
queer. 

Jane (coming down): Yes, indeed, haven’t I told ye lots o’ 
times that ye can’t allers tell what’s goin’ on jes’ by the looks 
o’ things ? I’ve knowed things that looked the queerest to turn 
out the best, sometimes. 

Eleanor : And, Jane, I thought I heard you running the ice 
cream freezer and when I asked you if you were you said—let 
me see, what did you say? 

Jane: It’s no matter what I said ’s long’s you get the ice 
cream. 

Eleanor : That’s right, so it looked as if we were to have ice 
cream and we are, so that’s once the “look of things” was all 
right, and now for some fun! 

Curtain. 

(A drill may be given here unth good effect.) 


96 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

CHRISTMAS WITH MOTHER GOOSE 

Laura Rountree Smith 

FOR ANY NUMBER OF CHILDREN OF PRIMARY AND INTERMEDIATE 

GRADES 

Characters 

The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe and Her Children ; Mother 
Goose, Boy Blue, Bo-Peep, Simple Simon,- Miss Muffet and other 
Mother Goose characters for utility parts; Old Woman of Leeds. 

Scene 

An old woman sits in front of a large shoe; many little children keep 
peeping out from behind it. Some little ingenuity is required to make 
a good-looking shoe, but the boys can do it. The frame-work will 
have to be of wood, made in the shape of a shoe. Cover this over 
with black cloth and make an immense buckle of heavy, white paper. 
One or two holes might be cut at heel and toe of shoe, on side facing 
Audience, from behind which some of the children’s faces would be 
seen peeping. 

Old Woman : I have so many children I don’t know what to 
do, and now that Christmas is coming I am more troubled than 
ever. We have no chimney for Santa Claus to come down; in 
fact, I doubt if Santa Claus knows I have any children. (To 
herself:) Who would ever think of looking for children in a 
shoe anyway? But Christmas is coming, and I have a shoe 
full of children and no stockings and no presents! O dear, it 
is really dreadful! I have so many children I don’t know what 
to do! 

(Children peep around the shoe and then come out.) 
First Child : Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! 

Second Child: Who said Santa Claus was not coming? 
Third Child : I think I hear sleigh-bells ringing. 

(Sleigh-bells are softly rung by someone behind the shoe and 
the Children sing song, “in December,” as given on the fol¬ 
lowing pages.) 


IN DECEMBER 


Words by L. Rountree Smith Music by T. B. Weavs* 



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98 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


IN DECEMBER—Concluded 


II 


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Welcome,welcome,old December,Fills each waiting heart with cheer; 


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RECITATION BY SIX “SHOE” CHILDREN 

First Child: 

Dear Santa Claus is coming, 

At this Merry Christmas-time. 

If we’re awake at evening, 

We’ll hear his sweet bells chime. 

Second Child: 

Now, if we have no stockings 
To hang upon the wall, 

We will greet old Santa 
And to him we will call. 

Third Child: 

Oh Santa, bring us presents, 
Please leave them in the shoe, 

We will say “Merry Christmas,” 
And sing “Hurrah for you!” 







































INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


99 


Fourth Child: 

Dear Santa Claus is busy, 

So many miles he’ll go; 

His little reindeer swiftly 
Patter o’er the snow. 

Fifth Child: 

Dear Santa Claus will carry 
The very nicest toys, 

And he will bring fine presents 
For all the girls and boys. 

Sixth Child : 

Dear Santa Claus will leave us 
From out his heavy pack, 

Just the presents that we want; 

Of toys, he has no lack. 

Old Woman: 

Dear children, perhaps Santa Claus will not come to us this 
year, because we have no chimney for him to come down. 
All (sing): 

Tune: "oh, dear, what can the matter be’" 

Oh, dear what can the matter be? 

Oh, dear what can the matter be? 

Oh, dear what can the matter be? 

We have no chimney at all! 

Dear Santa is coming to fill up the stockings, 

Dear Santa is coming to fill up the stockings, 

Dear Santa is coming to fill up the stockings, 

Of all other good girls and boys. 

Old Woman : There, there, don’t feel so badly, I will call 
Mother Goose, perhaps she can help us. Here she comes now. 
(Enter Mother Goose.) 

Old Woman : I have so many children I don’t know what to 
do, and Christmas will soon be here. 

Mother Goose: 

Well, well, to be sure 
The shoe is quite low, 

And children peep out 
From the heel and the toe! 





100 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Old Woman : 

I have so many children, 

I don’t know what to do; 

Christmas-time is coming, 

And we’re crowded in the shoe! 

Mother Goose : 

First of all I’ve heard it said, 

That children must be sent to bed! 

Old Woman : 

I’ve not a single sleepy-head, 

They do not like to go to bed! 

Children (in concert): 

Boo-hoo, boo-hoo, ’twill never do, 

Who’ll fill our stockings in the shoe ? 

(Mother Goose waves her wand, and the children slowly re¬ 
tire behind the shoe. Then she and the Old Woman whisper 
together, and Mother Goose goes out. The Old Woman sits 
by a table leaning her head on her hand and falls asleep.) 

Mother Goose (returning): 

Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn, 

The sheep’s in the meadow, the cow’s in the corn. 

Boy Blue (enters blowing horn): 

We are very glad to help you, 

And your children in the shoe; 

I bring my horn, now, for a present, 

And I will bring others, too. 

Mother Goose: 

Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep, 

And don’t know where to find them, 

Leave them alone, and they’ll come home, 
Wagging their tails behind them. 

Bo-Peep (enters): 

Poor Old Woman, poor Old Woman, 

Living in a shoe, 

I’ll bring candy for your children, 

Toys, and presents too. 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


101 


Mother Goose: 

Simple Simon met a pie-man, 

Going to the fair, 

Said Simple Simon to the pie-man, 
“Let me taste your ware.” 

Simple Stmon (enters): 

I would give you my sieve, 

But the water would fall, 

It never would hold 
The least bit at all! 

Boy Blue: 

Poor Simple Simon; it is clear 
He’ll need a new sieve every year! 

Bo-Peep : 

Go into the woods and chop down a tree, 
That is the best present, we all will agree. 

(Exit Simple Simon.) 

Mother Goose: 

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, 
Eating some curds and whey, 

There came a spider, 

And sat down beside her, 

And frightened Miss Muffet away! 

Miss Muffet (enters): 

I’m not afraid of spiders, now, 

For I’ve grown up, you see, 

I bring this pretty china bowl— 
Who’ll come and sup with me? 

Mother Goose: 

There was an Old Woman of Leeds, 
Who spent all her time in good deeds, 
She worked for the poor, 

Till her fingers were sore, 

This pious Old Woman of Leeds. 





102 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Old Woman of Leeds (with stockings on arm enters): 

I’ve been knitting all the year, 

Christmas-time is almost here, 

Stockings now I bring to you, 

For your children in the shoe. 

All: 

We will hang the stockings here, 

Hoping Santa will appear. 

(Simple Simon re-enters with tree, and Mother Goose's 
Children help decorate it.) 

Mother Goose: 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, 

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, 

All all the king’s horses, and all the king’s men, 
Cannot put Humpty Dumpty together again. 

Simple Simon : 

A basket of eggs I bring to you 
For your children in the shoe! 

(Many of Mother Goose’s Children now enter with dolls 
which they place in the stockings, and sing:) 

Tune: “clementine.” 

Dear old Santa Claus is coming, 

All the little children cry, 

And if we are awake at evening 
We will hear his sleigh dash by. 

Chorus: 

Oh, dear Santa! Oh, dear Santa! 

Oh dear jolly Santa Claus, 

We will shout a Merry Christmas, 

Jolly, jolly Santa Claus! 

Dear old Santa, we’ve a chimney, 

Down which you may softly creep, • 

All the stockings will be waiting, 

And you’ll find us fast asleep. 

Chorus . 


INTERMEDIATE GRADES 


103 


Miss Muffet: 

I am glad I have a chimney, 

Down which Santa Claus can creep, 

When he comes on Christmas Eve 
We are all fast asleep. 

He will fill our empty stockings full 
With toys from top to toe, 

Dear Santa will remember me, 

He always does, you know! 

Simple Simon: 

Dear Santa Claus is coming, 

He will be here soon, I suppose, 

I am glad I’m not a Santa Claus, 

With soot upon my clothes; 

I fear the stockings I’d forget, 

Or I might fall asleep; 

My reindeer never would be swift, 

But o’er the snow they’d creep! 

Boy Blue: 

Jolly, jolly Santa Claus, 

He travels far and wide, 

So we hang our stockings up 
By the fireside. 

If he finds the children here, 

All sleeping in the shoe, 

I think that he will step inside, 

And bring them presents too. 

Bo-Peep : 

Old Santa drives across the snow, 

Where he goes you surely know; 

He guides his reindeer to left and to right, 

For he must fill all of the stockings tonight, 

He whistles and shouts—the secret is out, 

Old Santa’ll fill stockings without any doubt! 

Old Woman of Leeds: 

Then up on the house-tops he goes with a bound, 
Down the chimney he creeps with scarcely a sound, 




104 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

He fills all the stockings ’ere break of day, 

Then whisk! up the chimney he’s off and away. 

If you hear a clatter, you’ll know what’s the matter, 

Old Santa drives by in his sleigh! 

(Mother Goose waves her wand. Slowly all the Mother 
Goose Characters go off. Mother Goose waves her wand 
again and the Old Woman wakes up and the Children come 
out of the shoe , shouting, Merry Christmas! They repeat song 
"in December/’ and march off with their toys.) 


HIGHER GRADES 


THE TRUE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT 

Marie Irish 

FOR FOUR GIRLS AND ONE BOY 

Characters 

Mrs. Richly Mrs. Montague Nora Marie Dennis 

Costumes and Scenery 

Mrs. Richly and Mrs. Montague have hair done up in an elaborate 
manner and are dressed in stylish, rather showy gowns. Dennis has a 
mustache, and wears a short coat and a rather bright tie, and dark 
trousers. Marie and Nora are dressed as working maids, neat, dark 
dresses, white aprons, and Marie wears a small white cap. 

Scene: Room in home of Mrs. Richly. Discovered, Mrs. Richly. 

(Enter Mrs. Montague, in informal manner .) 

Mrs. Richly (rising): Oh, do come in, dear Mrs. Montague. 
I’m delighted to see you. Have this easy chair. (They both 
sit.) 

Mrs. Montague: I just ran in to see how you are after the 
reception. What are you doing? 

Mrs. Richly: I was only writing some notes to put in with 
my Christmas presents. The reception did not tire me but 
this work of buying Christmas presents and getting them 
sent just wears me out. It’s an exceeding exertion—don’t 
you think? 

Mrs. Montague : Yes, it is very tiring. Such a struggle to 
select presents that will please people and cost enough to suit 
them. I do it up as quickly as possible. What difference does 
it make what you give folks just so you pay a lot for it? I 
spend a shocking amount for Christmas gifts but as long as 


105 





106 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


that is what people want I buy right and left, no matter what, 
just so it costs. (Laughs.) It doesn’t take me long to select 
the car-load I send. 

Mrs. Richly: Dreadful custom, isn’t it? We tire ourselves 
out with the work and worry of buying presents—all for 
nothing. What do people care about our gifts? There is no 
real sentiment about it. 

Mrs. Montague : Certainly not! People care no more about 
us than if we gave them nothing. But I don’t let it worry me. 
I ease my conscience by the amount of money I spend and let 
it go at that. I suppose that when I send a blue present the 
one who gets it would rather have had a pink one, and if I 
send silver they would rather have gold—but I do not fret 
over it. (Laughs.) Really I must go. (Rises.) Come over 
and see me' soon. Don't wear yourself out with Christmas 
work—it does not pay. Good-bye. 

Mrs. Richly: Good-bye, dear. Do come again. (Exit Mrs. 
Montague.) 

(Enter Marie.) 

(Marie goes briskly about the room, putting things in order 
and dusting, humming gaily as she works.) 

Mrs. Richly: You seem very happy, Marie. 

Marie: Oh, yes, indeed—I am very happy. It is because 
Christmas is so near and I like it so well. Don’t vou think 
Christmas is a beautiful day? 

Mrs. Richly: In what way do you mean, Marie? 

Marie: Oh, such lovely customs—wishing people Merry 
Christmas, and giving presents, and everybody happy. I think 
it is bea-u-ti-ful. 

Mrs. Richly: Are you going to give a lot of presents, 
Marie ? 

Marie: Yes, indeed. I have a box full all ready. I give to 
all my folks—each one something. 

Mrs. Richly: How can you afford it? I should not think 
you would have the money. 


HIGHER GRADES 


107 


Marie : Oh, some of them cost only ten cents—some not so 
much. Some of them I make myself. Such a beautiful apron 
I have made for my mother—with lace on it. She will think 
it is love-ly-y-y. It isn’t the money I spend they care for—it 
is the little present they love because Marie sends it. It is the 
love that goes with gifts that counts at Christmas and makes 
folks happy. 

Mrs. Richly (sighing): I wish I thought so. And do you 
expect a lot of presents, Marie? 

Marie: Oh, yes. (Laughs.) Some of them will be just 
little—almost nothing—but they please me the same because 
as much love comes with the little presents as with the fine ones. 

(Enter Dennis.) 

Dennis : Shure, ma’am, an’ I came in to ask if yez will let 
me go home for Christmas. It’s a family reunion we’re want¬ 
ing to have an’ me folks can’t get along without me, a-tall, a-tall. 

Mrs. Richly (sighing): Oh, I suppose I’ll have to let you go. 
Do you believe in Christmas, Dennis? 

Dennis (in great surprise): Belave in Christmas? Shure, 
an’ I do, ma’am. This plan of giving some little present to 
let folks know you care about ’em is foine. I wouldn’t know 
I had so many friends if it wasn’t for Christmas. Why, jist 
to hear me old father say, “Merry Christmas, Dinnis, me boy,” 
stirs up me heart; but whin me mother brings out some little 
present that she’s put a lot of fussin’ on, to show how much 
she loves me—thin me heart feels like meltin’ an’ runnin’ out. 
Don’t you think Christmas is a foine day, ma’am? 

Mrs. Richly : I am afraid I do not appreciate it as much as 
you do. I consider there is too much formality about giving 
presents. 

Dennis: Shure, there isn’t, ma’am, if ye care about folks. 
It is not what you say but the way you say it that makes 
Christmas a merry day, and not what you give but the feelings 
that go with presents that makes folks happy. 

Marie: Indeed, that is what I think myself, Dennis. 

(Enter Nora.) 


108 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Mrs. Richly: And now what do you want, Nora? I hope 
you are not going to ask to go home Christmas, too. What 
can I do without my cook? 

Nora : I have one lovely dress that I bought for my mother- 
fifty cents a yard already I paid for it and I wants to take it 
mit myself to her for Christmas. Ach, she will be glad with 
it and I have to go me along to see her pleasures. Christmas 
splendid, ain’t it? 

Mrs. Richly : I suppose you have bought a lot of Christmas 
presents, Nora. 

Nora: Ya, more as twenty. (Laughs.) Some is very cheap 
but that makes no difference—my folks likes them just so 
good. If they be oxpensive or if only five cents already, they 
likes ’em because it is a Christmas present mit much love from 
Nora. It is the love in the heart that makes presents seem so 
splendid, ain’t it? 

Dennis: Shure, an’ you’re right, Nora. It’s the sentimint 
from the heart an’ not the present from the pocketbook that 
shows the true Christmas spirit. 

Mrs. Richly (sighing): Well, Dennis, you may have your 
holiday and you, too, Nora, if we have to go without eating. 
I hope you will all three have a merry Christmas. 

Marie : Hurrah for Merry Christmas, the day that’s running 
over with good times for everybody! 

Dennis: Hurrah for Merry Christmas an’ may the spirits of 
the day intoxicate us all with pleasure! (Dances a little jig.) 

Nora: Hurrah for Merry Christmas, and may everybody’s be 
happy with hearts full of love already yet, I guess so. (Den¬ 
nis, Marie and, Nora march gaily from the room.) 

Mrs. Richly (walking the floor): I wonder who is right: 
Mrs. Montague and I, or my simple-hearted servants? 
(Thinks.) I believe Nora and Dennis and Marie are right: it 
is not the Christmas gifts that count but the way one gives 
them and the love that goes with them. The true Christmas 
spirit is not of the pocketbook but of the heart and—I am 
going to try and find it. (Curtain.) 


HIGHER GRADES 


109 


SANTA CLAUS JUNIOR, SUBSTITUTE* 


Dora H. Stockman 


A PLAY IN THREE SCENES FOR SIX' GIRLS AND SIX BOYS AND ANY 
NUMBER OF CHILDREN AS FAIRIES OR BROWNIES 


Characters 


Mr. Santa Claus, father of the family 
Mrs. Santa Claus, mother of same 
Santa Claus, Jr., the son 
Aurora Santa Claus, the daughter 
Brownie, a small boy 

Crystal Santa Claus, baby of the family (No speaking part; a small 
child or large doll.) 

Rev. Beecher, pastor of a Church 
Mrs. Beecher, his wife 



| Both small children 


Miss Primrose, a close friend of the family 
John Stacker, a neighbor of the Beecher’s 
Fairies or Brownies 


Scene I 


Instrumental music as the curtain rises, showing Santa Claus’ home, 
with all sorts of toys scattered about Santa Claus is sitting in a large 
chair with one foot bandaged and thrown over the other. Mrs. Santa 
Claus, Aurora Santa Claus, and Santa Claus Junior are standing about 
Crystal Santa Claus, the baby, which is sitting on the floor. 

Santa Claus : Ouch! Ouch! Oh dear what shall I do ? 
Here I am tied to a chair by this dreadful rheumatism and to¬ 
night is Christmas Eve. Never before have I failed to make 
my rounds since Greenland was green. Through snow, ice or 
rain, blizzards and cyclones I have traveled all over the world 
the night before Christmas, distributing presents to all good 
boys and girls. 

*From Moderator-Topics. Published through courtesy of Henry R. 
Pattengill. All rights reserved. 



110 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

Whew! There it goes again. (Makes a face and grabs his 
leg.) I suppose so many such trips is what gave me this awful 
rheumatism. I can’t even walk here, let alone climbing up and 
down all those chimneys. I’ll just have to give up this trip 
and it makes my old heart ache to think how disappointed the 
children will be not to get any Christmas presents. 

Mrs. Santa Claus: My dear, don’t you think if vou would 
let me rub your leg again with this hot icicle it might help it ? 
(Holds up an icicle or an imitation of one.) 

Santa Claus : No-sir-ee. One side is all burned to a blister 
now from that hot thing. Ouch ! Oh! Oh! (Grabs his leg, 
gritting his teeth and rolling his eyes.) 

Santa Claus, Jr.: Say, father, why not let me go? I can 
drive the reindeer just as well as you, and if you wrote out a 
list of the names I could make the trip without any mistakes, 
I am sure. Besides, as you can’t go yourself, I think I would 
make a good substitute. 

Mrs. Santa Claus: Why, Junior, how can you think of 
taking such a trip? A boy like you, only 300 years old! 
When you get a few hundred years older, it will be time to go 
with your papa and learn how. 

Aurora Santa Claus: Now, Junior, you know Dunder and 
Blitzen ran away from you just a short time ago and bumped 
things around so it caused an earthquake that destroyed San 
Francisco. If you go, I, too, shall go, to hold the team while 
you go down the chimneys. 

Santa Claus, Jr.: No, you won’t, either. I ain’t going to 
have a girl tagging along with me. I guess I can make a 
little trip like that without someone to watch me. 

Mrs. Santa Claus: There, there, children, you needn’t 
quarrel about such a bare possibility as either of you going. 
You are both much too young and too inexperienced to venture 
on such a trip. 

Santa Claus, Jr.: But don’t you see, mother, that father 
can’t go and surely somebody ought to go. Christmas wouldn’t 


HIGHER GRADES 


111 


be Christmas without a Santa Claus. (Turns toward Santa 
Claus:) Father, if you will trust me I will be very careful 
sir. 

Santa Claus (scratching his head and rubbing his leg): It’s 
a pretty risky venture, but if you will promise to do just as I 
tell you, I will let you try it. 

Santa Claus, Jr. : I will do everything you say. 

Santa Claus : First of all you must let Aurora go with you 
to hold the team, and she can also help sort out presents. I 
can assure you with several million names on my list, it is not 
an easy matter to always get the right thing for the right per¬ 
son. Then, I will send Fairy Flier and Brownie Snowflake 
along and if you get into any difficulty, you can send back 
word to me. And last, keep your temper. Don’t quarrel with 
Aurora or whip the reindeer, as they might get away from 
you again. 

Santa Claus, Jr. : All right, sir, I will do as you say though 
I’d much rather go alone. 

Mrs. Santa Claus: If you children are to go you must 
hurry and get ready for it is getting late. Junior, you are so 
tall you can wear your father’s fur coat and thick cap. Aurora, 
you must wear my long coat and your thickest cap, and warm 

furs. 

Santa Claus (blows a whistle. Enter Fairy with a big roll 
of paper. Santa Claus takes the roll and hands it to Santa 
Claus, Jr.) There, Junior, is a list of all the names. Remem¬ 
ber you are to go to the North Pole first: then south past 
Hudson Bay: through North America and South America: 
then across over to Australia and the islands: next take Africa, 
Asia, and Europe. And don’t forget the small British Islands 
with the city of London. Go from there to Iceland, and then 
home. Watch out for icebergs and the North Pole. 

(Enter Brownie carrying a pack of toys.) 

Brownie : Here is the last pack, the others are already loaded 
in the sleigh. (Touching cap.) Everything ready to start, 
Master Junior. 




112 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Santa Claus, Jr. : Come on, Aurora. Goodbye, father and 
mother. Bye-bye, Baby Crystal. (They go out: hells heard m 
the distance.) 

Mrs. Santa Claus (takes up Baby Crystal and sings): 

A CHRISTMAS LULLABY. 

Tune: "old ocean.*" 

Long years have rolled by in their swift ceaseless motion 
Since in Bethlehem shone that beautiful star, 

O’er a babe in a manger, so humble and lowly, 

While angels peeped through heaven’s gates, left ajar. 

Chorus: 

“Bye-bye-oh-bye, Bye-bye-oh-bye, 

The angels look down on Thee from the sky, 

Then hush-a-bye darling, my dear baby, Jesus," 

Sang Mary, His mother, "Bye-bye-baby-bye.” 

There out on the hills where the shepherds were watching, 
The angels were singing that wonderful song 
“All glory to God’’ was the sweet chorus ringing 
Announcing His birth with a heavenly throng. 

Chorus. 

The wise men that traveled from out the far East, 

Came to worship the child and their precious gifts bring, 
But the babe smiled and slept in His mother’s soft arms 
Though he was a Prophet, a Priest, and a King. 

Chorus. 

And still on the air that sweet music is ringing 
The bright angel host and a Star o’er the Way, 

We come with our gifts and in true adoration 

We worship the King on this glad Christmas Day. 

Chorus. 

Curtain 


*In Pat's Pick (a song book). Price, 50 cents. 



HIGHER GRADES 


113 


Scene II 


An ordinary sitting-room with fireplace, 
oanta Claus, Jr. He is turning toys out of 


if possible. Aurora and 
his pack on the floor. 


Aurora : There, Junior, I told you it wasn’t there. I knew 
we would lose something. I don’t see whv you hit Blitzen 
with the whip, anyway. 


Santa Claus, Jr. : I guess I know how to drive without your 
advice. Blitzen is always cutting up capers unless you dress 
him down. 


Aurora. What will papa say when he finds out you broke 
the North Pole off clear into the ground? Peary or Cook may 
want you to pay for it now. 

Santa Claus, Jr. : I don’t care about the old North Pole. It 
was Peary’s store-box houses that scared the reindeer. They 
were worse than airships or automobiles. I wouldn’t care a 
cent if I hadn’t lost that list of names! 

Aurora: Hadn’t you better send Fairy Flier back for an¬ 
other? We can never get along without it. 

Santa Claus, Jr. : That s just like a girl ! Can’t do this and 
can t do that. You needn’t think I am going to wait for any 

lists. I’ll start right here at- (Use local name of place.) 

Let’s see, this is Rev. Beecher’s residence. The pastor of Elm 
street church. 

Aurora: Mrs. Beecher was to have a silver set from the 
Ladies’ Aid Society. I have the card here. 

Santa Claus, Jr. : All right, here it is. Tie on your card. 
(Hands her the package. She ties on card.) 

Aurora : There is a boy here and a little girl, too. 

Santa Claus, Jr. : All right, here are your presents. 

Aurora: Oh yes, I remember there is an old maid lives in 
the house on one side and an old bachelor on the other side. 

Santa Claus, Jr. : Good for you, Sis. Girls are some use 
after all. I guess I am not sorry I brought you along. 





114 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

Aurora (pulls cards out of handbag): Here are the cards, 
but don’t get them mixed. 

Santa Claus, Jr. : Pooh, ’course not. Come on, if we don’t 
hurry faster than this we won’t get home until morning. (They 
go out.) 

(Enter group of Fairies or Brownies or both. They sing 
chorus as they enter and march around the stage. Then form 
a semi-circle while each verse is being sung, and march dur¬ 
ing each chorus and as they go out.) 

The Fairies (sing): 

santa’s workmen. 

Tune: “dearest mae.*” 

Our home is in good Santa’s land, 

Where the fairies love to dwell; 

We work and work, nor ever shirk, 

But not to buy or sell. 

We shape the crystal dewdrops 
Upon the window-pane, 

’And teach the plants and flowers to hold 
Their pitchers up for rain. 

Chorus: 

Oh jingle, jingle, jingle, 

Just hear our merry bells, 

We work and work, and never shirk 
In the land where Santa dwells. 

We paint the lovely colors 
Upon the sunset sky, 

The pansies dip their faces 
In our never-fading dye. 

The rainbow with its seven strips, 

The pretty Promise bow, 

We spun the ribbon for the span 
From raindrops, dew and snow. 

Chorus. 


*In Pat's Pick. 



HIGHER GRADES 


115 


And when the north wind raging, 

Brings down the wintry storm, 

We wrap the plants and flowers 
In a blanket white and warm. 

All through the long, cold winter 

When the Frost King growls and whirls, 
We spend in Santa’s workshop 
Making toys for boys and girls. 

Chorus. 

Curtain 


Scene III 

Same sitting-room. Enter Rev. Beecher and wife. Mr. Beecher goes 
to the mantel and picks up package and hands it to Mrs. Beecher. 

Mr. Beecher : Here, Mary, is a package from the Ladies’ 
Aid Society. 

Mrs. Beecher (opens the package, looks astonished): Why, 
James, what does this mean? I thought some of the ladies 
seemed a little cool lately, but I never dreamed they would do 
such an insulting, mean thing. 

Mr. Beecher: What is it? What is the matter? 

Mrs. Beecher : Matter enough! See what they have sent 
me. (Holds up a smoking set.) 

Rev. Beecher : Why, why, it is a smoking set. Surely there 
must be some mistake. 

Mrs. Beecher: There can’t be a mistake, here is the card. 
(Begins to cry.) 

Rev. Beecher (patting her head): Never mind, Mary, I am 
sure there must be some mistake, and if they did really send 
it, we must go on trying to help and love them just the" same. 
Dry your tears, for here come the children and we must not 
spoil their Christmas. 

Harvey (enters): Merry Christmas, Papa, merry Christmas, 
Mamma. What did Santa Claus leave in my stocking? (Takes 




116 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


down stocking, pulls out a doll. Whistles and holds the doll off 
at arm's length by one foot.) I guess, Dad, you better tell old 
Santa to take this old thing back. I am no girl-boy carrying 
around rag babies. 

(Enter four-year-old Dotty .) 

Dotty: Merry Christmas, Papa. 

Rev. Beecher: Merry Christmas, Dotty Dimple. Let’s see 
what is in your stocking! (He gets the stocking and seats her 
on his lap , she pulls out a ball and mit.) 

Dotty : Me don’t want this. Dotty wants dolly (pointing to 
the doll Harvey had thrown on the table). 

Mrs. Beecher: Well if this isn’t the queerest mixed-up affair 
I ever heard about. 

(Somebody knocks: Mrs. Beecher goes to the door and ad¬ 
mits Miss Primrose.) 

Mrs. Beecher: Merry Christmas, Miss Primrose. 

Miss Primrose (holding out a shaving mug): Mr. Beecher, 
I want you to go with me to return this to your next-door 
neighbor. I will not say gentleman of anyone who will be so 
sneaking as to send a lady such a present. 

Rev. Beecher: Are you quite sure, Miss Primrose, that Mr. 
Stacker sent it? 

Miss Primrose: Certainly, here is his card, “A Merry Christ¬ 
mas, from John Stacker.” 

(Knock heard at the door. Rev. Beecher admits Mr. 
Stacker, who glares when he sees Miss Primrose, then ad¬ 
vances holding out a lace night-cap towards her.) 

Mr. Stacker (to Miss Primrose) : Permit me, madam, to 
return the Christmas gift you sent. I still have hair enough 
left so that I do not need to use such things. 

Miss Primrose: A night-cap, I sent you? You mean the 
shaving mug you sent me. 

(Sleigh-bells heard from outside.) 


HIGHER GRADES 


117 

Harvey : Hark, there is Santa Claus himself. I know it is he! 

Santa Claus (enters, looks from one to another, then begins 
to laugh): Just what I thought. I knew there would be an 
awful mix-up as soon as Brownie told me what had hap¬ 
pened. 

Harvey (handing him the doll): Here, Mr. Santa, I don’t 
want this thing. You know I asked for a ball and mit and 
skates. 

Santa Claus: Certainly you did and I made them for you. 

Dotty : Misther Santa Clauth, I want a dolly and a dolly’s 
ca-dle. 

Santa Claus: So she does, the darling, and she shall have 
them. 

Rev. Beecher : Mr. Santa Claus, there seems to have been 
more than one mistake. My wife was quite horrified to re¬ 
ceive a smoking set, from the good ladies of the church. 

Santa Claus (laughs heartily): Worse and worse. 

Miss Primrose: And look here, will you? (Holds out the 
shaving mug.) 

Santa Claus: Ha! Ha! You got the shaving mug and he 
got the night-cap. (Pointing to Stacker and laughing again. 
Then more soberly:) Now, my dear friends, kindly let me 
explain. I don’t wonder you are indignant. You see, this 
year I was so crippled up with rheumatism I couldn’t get 
about at all. And as I thought I couldn’t possibly come myself, 
I sent my son, Santa Claus Junior, as a substitute. 

As luck would have it, he passed near where Peary had 
camped up at the North Pole, and the reindeer were so scared 
at seeing those grocery-box houses of his, that they ran away, 
struck the North Pole and broke it short off, and dumped 
everything out of the sleigh. 

He got the stuff all loaded up again but he couldn’t find the 
list of names I had made out for him, and instead of sending 




118 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Fairy Flier back for another, like any other conceited young 
chap he started off to fill the order himself. 

As soon as Brownie brought me the news, I knew about 
what would happen. I told Mrs. Santa to bring me the Extract 
of Lightning bottle and I rubbed some on my leg. I hate to use 
it for it makes me worse afterward and it leaves a streak of 
sparks along the way that is likely to set fire to something. I 
started after the youngsters but I couldn’t stop them till they 
got clear down in South America. 

Now we can easily fix this up. Harvey and Dotty can just 
exchange presents and I will send on the missing skates and 
doll cradle by thunderbolt express. 

Mrs. Beecher, that smoking set belongs to Herr Jauger- 
meyer, an old German that lives near Berlin. The ladies of 
your church ordered a set of silver for you. 

Miss Primrose (goes over to Mr. Stacker, holds the shaving 
mug towards him): Pardon me, sir, and kindly allow me to 
exchange with you. 

Mr. Stacker (bowing gallantly, as they exchange): This 
gift will be doubly precious because of its association with so 
sweet a flower as the Primrose. 

Santa Claus (winking aside at Mr. Beecher) : I think that 
was a lucky mistake for them and perhaps you will share in it 
too, later, in a liberal marriage fee. (To All:) By the way, 
I just got word as I came here that Junior had given a seal¬ 
skin sack to a princess of the Hawaiian islands. Think of that 
poor lady sweltering in a fur coat where a lace cape makes 
one sweat. And he left a straw hat and white canvas pumps 
for an Eskimo belle, and she will surely wear them and take 
her death of cold because she will think it is the latest style. 
Dear me, if I get all these kinks straightened out before Christ¬ 
mas is over, I will have to hurry up. So I must say good-night, 
and a Merry Christmas to you all. (Santa Claus makes his 
exit hurriedly, nodding and smiling as he goes. All again 
appear to be in the best of humor now.) 

All (to Santa Claus) : Merry Christmas: good-night. 



HIGHER GRADES 


119 


Primrose (or any other character who has a good voice, sings, 
accompanied by All as indicated:) 

CHRISTMAS CHEER 

Tune: “help it on.*” 

Solo: There's another Christmas coming, bye-and-bye. 
Chorus: Bye-and-bye. 

Solo: There’s another Christmas coming, bye-and-bye. 
Chorus: Bye-and-bye. 

All: There’s another Christmas coming, 

Hear the world with gladness humming, 

There’s another Christmas coming, bye-and-bye. 

Chorus: Bye-and-bye. 

Solo : Poor old Santa’s getting old, very old. 

Chorus: Very old. 

Solo: Poor old Santa’s getting old, very old. 

Chorus: Very old. 

All: Let us help from now till fall 

To make presents, large and small, 

Then there’ll be enough for all, one and all. 

Chorus: All, all. 

Solo: Would you know the Christmas cheer, happy cheer? 
Chorus: Happy cheer ? 

Solo: Would you know the Christmas cheer, happy cheer? 
Chorus: Happy cheer ? 

All : Love your neighbor as yourself 
Like this jolly, dear old elf, 

Then you’ll have through all the year, Christmas cheer. 
Chorus: Cheer, cheer. 


*In Pat’s Pick. 


Curtain 



120 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


UNEXPECTED COMPANY 


Clara J. Denton 

FOR FIVE GIRLS AND FOUR BOYS 


Characters 


Girls : Mrs. Liza Billings, a widow who has seen better days 
Mrs. Byrd Townsend, a cousin by marriage 



daughters of Mrs. Billings 


Boys : 


“Clum” I 

“Woodie” > sons of Mrs. Billings 
“Ketchie” j 

Algernon, son of Mrs. Byrd Townsend 

“Clum” is the eldest of the Billings children. Algernon is of about the 
same age. These two should appear to be about fifteen years of age. 


Costumes 


Mrs. Billings (at first) : Soiled and ragged calico wrapper, made 
short enough to show very ragged shoes, black smudge on face, hair 
unkempt. Later: Old-fashioned, black brilliantine skirt, hangs very 
unevenly; tan slippers; rumpled, but clean white apron; old-fashioned, 
clean, pink calico shirt-waist; hair neatly arranged. 

Billings Children—Boys (at first) : Overalls and jumpers, soiled 
and ragged; hair, hands and faces very untidy; coats, hats and mittens 
ragged. Later: Cheap but decent suits of grey or black; faces, etc., 
clean and tidy. 

Girls (at first) : Ragged dresses; worn shoes and torn rubbers; well- 
worn coats; mis-matched mittens; old scarfs of any sort tied on heads; 
hair untidy—part of them may have their hair in curl papers. Later : 
Summer dresses, wrinkled but clean, looking as though they had been 
tucked into some out-of-the-way corner. Hair in curls. Those whose 
hair had not been done up in papers should show traces of the curling 
iron; all tied with faded ribbons. 

Mrs. Townsend: Handsome traveling suit. 

Algernon: Neat suit. 



HIGHER GRADES 


121 


Scenery 

Scene : Plain interior, furniture much the worse for wear, rocking- 
chair with only one rocker, battered old couch propped up with some 
bricks, pictures on the walls with glasses broken or entirely without 
glass, arm-chair with the arm tied on with a rope, rusty old sheet-iron 
heating stove, propped up with bricks, dilapidated center table on which 
rest a few tattered books. Also, any other decrepit articles of furniture 
obtainable. The general impression to be conveyed, though, is that the 
furniture had once been of good quality. 

Curtain rises on empty stage. Loud knocking at left. Shouts of 
children at play behind scenes. 

Mrs. Billings (enters at right, hurrying): My days! who can 
that be so early on Christmas morning. I do wish they’d give 
me time to get my work done up. (Goes to left.) O, good 
morning, Mr. Boyne: a letter for me! how kind of you. No, 
I hadn’t intended to send the children down town. I forgot 
that the post-office was open this morning, early. It was so 
good of you to take the trouble to inquire for me: hope you 
didn’t go down on purpose. 

A Voice (from behind the scenery): Twan’t no trouble: the 
postmaster found it when he was a-looking f’r my mail, so he 
said would I bring it ’long. Good mornin’. 

Mrs. Billings (coming down while opening letter): I wonder 
who has written me a letter? I don’t believe I ever saw this 
writing before. (Looks at signature.) Byrd Townsend. Who 
in the world is that? Byrd Townsend (thinking). O, I do 
believe it is that woman who married my husband’s first cousin, 
Peter Billings, and after his death she married a man named 
Townsend, and then he died and left her a whole lot of money. 
I wonder what in the world she is writing to me about ? I 
hardly know her; well, I suppose the best way to find out is to 
read her letter. (Reads:) “Dear Cousin Liza.” That sounds 
kind, I’m sure, ’specially as I never met her but once, and then 
we didn’t exchange half a dozen words. I am surprised that she 
should remember me. (Reads:) “I came to this place”, urn, let 
me see—my! but she’s a poor writer: her letters look like tipsy 
soldiers, but that is surely Brookville at the head of the letter. 
Why that’s only five miles from here. Mercy! I hope she 


122 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


isn’t coming to make us a visit. (Reads:) “ * * * “to at¬ 

tend the funeral of my first husband’s sister-in-law’s cousin”— 
such a poor speller, too, she is, but that is surely what it says: 
“first husband’s sister-in-law’s cousin.” My! that’s too deep for 
me, that’s Peter Billings’s relations, but on his wife’s side. 
Guess I’d keep pretty busy if I ran around attending all my 
husband’s sister-in-law’s cousins’ and all other in-law’s funerals. 
But then she has lots of money and nothing else to do—but 
let’s see what else she has to say. (Reads:) * * * “who 

was one of my schoolmates.” Um, that explains it. (Reads:) 

* * * “and as I am-so near you I decided to invite myself 

and my son Algernon”, O, O, “over to eat Christmas, dinner 
with you tomorrow” (crumples letter). O, think of it! Of 
course, she’ll come on this morning’s train, seeing there ain’t 
another until eight tonight. She’s liable to be here in fifteen 
minutes or so. My! I hope the train is late: it nearly always 
is. (Runs to left and calls:) Clum, Ony, Marie, Woodie, 
Ketchie, Toby: come to the house this minute. (Returns to 
center and looks around helplessly.) Dear me! to think of 
anyone coming down on you like that. But, my! it would have 
been a great deal worse if Mr. Boyne hadn’t brought me the 
letter. What shall I do first? Well, there’s nothing that I can 
do to this room, it’s just as clean as I can make it and I can’t 
put new legs under the couch or the stove, that’s sure, nor 
mend the broken chairs. (Noises behind scenes, Children 
troop in making great racket.) Now, children, we’re going to 
have company (All shout, “Goodie, goodie”) : a very swell 
lady and her son. (Cries of, “How big is he?”) Well, as nearly 
as I can remember, he is about the age of Clum, and now chil¬ 
dren, you must stop being so wild and rude and first thing take 
off your wraps and tidy yourselves up. (They pull off their 
outer garments and throw them about the room in wild confu¬ 
sion. Mrs. Billings patiently gathers them up while talking .) I 
do wish you could learn to be more quiet in your behavior. This 
lady who is coming is rich, so she goes into the very best so¬ 
ciety, I am sure; no doubt she has good manners and will know 
when you don’t do things just right. I am just ashamed of it, 
but I am so busy all the while earning stuff for you to eat, that 
I know I haven’t watched your behavior as much as I ought. 
She knew me when I was first married to your father, so, now, 


HIGHER GRADES 


123 


I hope you’ll remember, and not disgrace me because you see, 
it ain’t—(O, I mean it isn’t, I must look out for my grammar) 
(sighs) —it isn’t every day that we can have such fine company. 
And, now, Clum, you go out and kill the little black rooster and 
hurry, too. (Clum exits at left.) 

Marie: Maw, have I got to wash and dress Toby? 

Mrs. Billings: Yes, but don’t say Toby. I want you to begin 
at once to use your correct names when speaking of or to each 

other. 

Marie : O, Maw, I can’t ever say Manitoba and Saskatchewan 
instead of Ketchie. 

Mrs. Billings: Yes, you can, and another thing, you must 
stop calling me maw. 

Marie: Why, what shall I say? Want me to call you Paw? 

Mrs. Billings: You must call me mam ma. Say it now, all 
of you. (They All holler mommer.) No, that isn’t right: 
say mamma. (She makes a very decided accent on the last 
syllable: they imitate her with various degrees of success.) 
That will do; now go out, all of you, and get tidied up and keep 
saying mam ma while you are busy. 

Clum (enters at left): Maw, (she interrupts him with the 
same lesson on the mamma: he finally gets it right and then 
goes on with his speech) the little black rooster is dead. I 
found him in the chicken coop: looked as though something 
had been eating him. 

Mrs. Billings: O, dear, dear, now what’ll we have for 
dinner? 

Clum : Ain’t you got nothin’ ? 

Mrs. Billings : O, Columbus, don’t talk that way. 

Clum : Why, what did I say ? 

Mrs. Billings: You said, “Ain’t you got nothin’?” You 
should say, “Haven’t you anything?” Do try to remember that 
your grandfather was a minister, and then, perhaps, you can 
take a little pains with your grammar. 




124 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Clum : But Maw—I mean Mamma—if your father was a 
minister, you’ve got an awful big black smudge on your face. 

Mrs. Billings: Yes, yes, I know it, and I must go fix up 
pretty soon. My, it’s time that train was in, but I hain’t—-I 
mean haven’t—heard it whistle, have you? (He shakes his 
head.) Don’t shake your head, say: No, Mam ma. (He 
obeys.) Now go over to Mis’, I mean Mrs. Brown’s and ask 
her to let me have one of those mince pies that she baked yester¬ 
day : tell her I’ll pay any price she asks when I get my pay for 
the coats I have in the house to make. (Exit Clum at left.) 
Now, there’s a pretty good spare rib in the oven and with 
mashed potatoes and gravy, I guess we can make out. 

Ony (enters at right): How do I look, Maw? or-eh— I mean, 
what was it you told me to say? (Mrs. Billings prompts her.) 
O, yes: Mam ma? 

Mrs. Billings: You look all right. Go sit down on the 
couch. 

Marie (enters at right: she has changed her dress, bat has 
made no improvement in face , hair or feet): Maw!—I mean 
Mamma—I have got Ketchie dressed. Must I do Toby, too, 
when Ony hasn’t dressed anyone but herself? And Woodie 
keeps teasing me to find his necktie. 

Mrs. Billings : Dear me! Will you stop saying Woodie and 
Ony and Ketchie and Toby? But I must go and change my 
dress, too. (Exeunt with Marie, at right.) 

Woodie (enters at right): How do I look, Ony? 

Ony: You look all right: but you forgot that maw — I mean 
mamma—said you must give me my full name. 

Woodie: It’s awfully hard to remember, but I’ll do it when 
the company gits here. 

Ony: Well, sit down and keep still. (Woodie goes to chair , 
sits down , then rises suddenly.) What’s the matter? 

Woodie: I just ’membered this chair’s shaky. It’s been that 
way ever since Clum glued the leg on tight tother day: better 
not let the swell company sit on it. (Enter Clum at left.) O, 


HIGHER GRADES 


125 


you better hurry up and git dressed up like the rest o’ us is 
a-doin’. 

Clum: Jehosophat! I should say so. 

Ony (very loftily): Columbus, I am surprised at you. Have 
you forgotten that your grandfather was a minister? 

Clum: Not on your tin-type; how could I? (Exit at right 
as Toby enters at left.) 

Toby : Don’t I look pretty fine, Ony ?—or I mean I-o-n-i-a ? 
(Pronounces every syllable carefully.) 

Ony : Indeed you do, dear. Come sit here on the couch with 
sister. (She goes to couch and sits.) 

Woodie: Yes, you look fine enough to ketch a beau. 

Toby (jumping up and turning slowly around): I don’t want 
to ketch a beau. Tve got two of ’em (bows), don’t you see? 
One on the front of my dress and one on the back. 

Clum (enters at right, his toilet is made): Say, do you know 
every time I have to wash myself I feel sorry for our grand¬ 
father. 

Others: Why? 

Clum : ’Cause, don’t you remember his picture shows that he 
was awfully bald, and just think of all the extra skin he had to 
wash. 

Toby : I’m glad I ain’t bald, ’cause then I couldn’t have this 
pretty pink bow on my hair. 

Marie (enters at right, leading Ketchie) : Here we are—I 
thought I’d never git Ketchie ready. Now sit down there. 
(Places him on couch.) He wouldn’t let me wash him unless 
I’d tell him a story, and he promised if I’d tell him just one 
story he wouldn’t ask for another one; then when I was through 
with the story, he said I shouldn’t comb his hair unless I told it 
to him over again. 

Ony: Why, Ketchie, that was naughty when you said you 
wouldn’t ask for another one. 




126 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Ketchie : I didn’t ask for another one. I asked for the same 
one over again. 

Ony: I don’t see why mother doesn’t come. We are all here 
now but her. 

Clum : Yes, and the train is in. I heard it whistle quite a few 
minutes ago. 

Mrs. Billings (enters at right hurriedly): So you are all 
here and ready! Now, I want you to be seated on the couch 
according to your ages: come Columbus —(they take their 
places as called upon) you sit at the head, Ionia next, then 
Sault St. Marie, Woodstock next, Saskatchewan next, and 
Manitoba at the foot. Sit close so you won’t crowd Manitoba 
off. When each one’s name is spoken, he or she must come 
forward and shake hands with the visitors. And if Mrs. Town¬ 
send asks you any questions, don’t say: No, ma’am, or Yes, 
ma’am, like ignorant country children, but instead, say, Yes, 
Mrs. Townsend, or No, Mrs. Townsend. Be sure to shake 
hands with the right hand and not with the left. When you 
come to the table remember your manners. Don’t forget and 
eat with your knives; don’t soak your break in vour coffee. 
I’m going to give everyone of you a napkin, though some of 
’em’s pretty old, so be careful and don’t spread ’em out, so as 
they’ll show the holes, and whatever you do don’t forget that 
your grandfather was a minister and try to be a credit to him. 
(Knocking at left.) There they are this minute (goes to left). 
I’m glad they staid away until I gave you a talking to. Why, 
how do you do, Mrs. Townsend ? And this is your son Alger¬ 
non: come right in. (They enter.) Are you cold? Better 
come up to the fire and get warm. 

Mrs. Townsend : O, no, we hain’t cold, not a bit. (She sits 
in chair near couch. Algernon also sits. Mrs. Billings takes 
their wraps while talking and carries them to a table in the 
farther corner of the room.) Tain’t fur, you know, from the 
station up here; besides we rode in a nice covered kerridge, 
though the man charged me a dollar, which I call downright 
robbery and I told him so, too, but he wouldn’t take a cent less 
for all o’ that, though I did fairly abuse him. Wasn’t that 


HIGHER GRADES 


127 


mean o’ him? Well, Liza, it’s a good many years sence I seen 
ye last an’ ye’re a-growin’ old jes’ ’s well as me, but that’s what 
we’re all a-doin’ so pot can’t call kittle black. 

Mrs. Billings: And how do you like traveling round in the 
winter, Algernon? 

Algernon : O, I don’t keer for it, but Maw she said I’d got 
ter come ’cause I hain’t never seen nawthing o’ the kentry. 
(Children on couch are putting hands over mouths to 
smother their laughter.) 

Mrs. Townsend: And these are all your childern? My, but 
ye have got a lot o’ ’em. 

Mrs. Billings: Columbus, come and shake hands with Mrs. 
Townsend and Algernon. (He obeys.) The next one is 
Ionia. (She comes forward and repeats business.) The next 
is Sault St. Marie. (She repeats action.) Come, now, Wood- 
stock, it’s your turn. (He repeats action.) Saskatchewan. 
(The same. Mrs. Townsend keeps hold of his hand.) 

Mrs. Townsend: You have a pretty long name: do you 
like it? 

Ketchie (embarrassed): Yes, Mrs. Townsend, er-er—no, 
Mrs. Townsend. (All laugh. Ketchie runs back to seat.) 

Mrs. Billings: And last of all is little Manitoba. (She 
comes forward and gives left hand.) The other one, dear. 
(She reaches for Mrs. Townsend’s left hand and grabs it. 
All laugh. She runs back to seat.) 

Mrs. Townsend: What very peculiar names you have given 
your childern, Cousin Eliza. I s’pose there is a reason 
for it? 

Mrs. Billings: Yes, there is: you see my father was a min¬ 
ister. 

Toby (interrupting): And we mustn’t ever forget it. (All 
laugh.) 

Mrs. Townsend : Of course, you mustn’t: and did he give the 
childern those peculiar names ? 




128 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

Mrs. Billings: No, but we moved around a great deal 
and I liked to be reminded of the different places we lived in 
those dear old days. I was born at Columbus and lived there 
until I was quite a big girl. Then Ionia was the next place, 
so I named my first girl after that town in Michigan. It wall 
here that I graduated from the high school, you know. 

Ketchie: Maw, Ony’s crowding me. 

Mrs. Townsend: Which one is Ony? 

Mrs. Billings: That is a nickname for Ionia. I am sorry 
to say that I have let them form the bad habit of using nick¬ 
names for each other. 

Mrs. Townsend: O, how delightful! and what are all your 
nicknames? (The Children jump up and rapidly and in regu¬ 
lar order call out their nicknames. This must be done without 
a moment's wait in between.) 

Clum : Mine’s Clum. 

Ony: Mine’s Ony. 

Marie : Mine’s Marie. 

Woodie : Mine’s Woodie. 

Ketchie: Mine’s Ketchie. 

Toby: Mine’s Toby. 

(Mrs. Townsend and Algernon laugh, and presently all 
join in hearty laughter.) 

Mrs. Townsend: And did you really live in all those places, 
Liza? 

Mrs. Billings: I certainly did. 

Mrs. Townsend: Well, you have been quite a traveler: but 
now I tell ye, Liza—I didn’t know jes’ how many children ye 
had, so when I got to the village I found one store open, an’ 
I went in there, an’ asked them ef they knowed you and how 
many childern ye had. They said they did, and knowed their 
names an’ everything, so I told ’em to do up three presents 
for everyone o’ ye an’ to make two of ’em useful an’ one of 


HIGHER GRADES 


129 


’em somethin’ ye could git along ’thout jes’ ’s well ’s not, 
cause I remember how mad I used to be when I was a young 
’un when they gave me jes’ useful things what I had ter heve 
anyway. Besides, there’s fruit and candy cornin’ enough to 
make the whole filin’ o’ ye sick fur a week. An’ then there’s 
a tree too, an’ after we hev our dinner, we’ll fix the tree up. 

Mrs. Billings: That was too good of you, Mrs. Townsend. 

Mrs. Townsend: O, call me by my name, Byrd, and let the 
childern call me Auntie Byrd. I hope the clerk will remember 
what I said, and not make all the things useful. She is to 
write your names on them, too. Does she know their nick¬ 
names ? 

Mrs. Billings: O, yes, I’m sorry to say: no one knows 
them by their real names. I didn’t think of that when I was 
naming them in that fantastic way. 

Mrs. Townsend : O, well, it doesn’t matter, jes’ ’s long’s they 
are good childern, an’ I know they are. 

Toby: Clum never eats with his knife, but I forget some¬ 
times. 

Ketchie: Woodie always takes his hat off, but I most al¬ 
ways forget. 

Woodie: Well, Ketchie never forgets to wipe his feet, but 
I don’t always do it. 

Marie: Toby never cries out loud when she’s hurt. 

Ony: And Marie never soaks her bread in her coffee. 

Clum : And Ony always says, “If you please” and “Thank 
you.” I forget sometimes. 

Mrs. Townsend: Well, jes’ listen to the darlings telling all 
the good things about each other and none of their faults. 
Really, Liza, these are the nicest childern that I ever seen. 

Mrs. Billings: O, you make me very proud and happy. 

Algernon: Maw, Maw, there comes the delivery wagon 
from the store (jumps up): yes, and I see the tree. (Exit at 
left. Other Children jump up, also.) 



130 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Mrs. Townsend: I must go settle the bill. (Exit at left.) 

Mrs. Billings: Here, here, children, you mustn’t go. It 
wouldn’t be polite for you to run out there while she’s settling 
for the things. 

Clum : Besides you can’t see a thing ’cept the tree: the pres¬ 
ents are all in packages. O, how is the dinner coming on, 
Maw? (All laugh.) 

Marie : My! I’m glad that boy says maw, so we won’t have 
to say mam ma any more. 

Woodie: No, that boy talks worse’n we do, Maw. 

Ketchie: Yes, but he didn’t have a minister for a grand¬ 
father. 

Curtain 

CHRISTMAS AT HOLLY FARM 

Clara J. Denton 

FOR ANY NUMBER OF GIRLS AND BOYS 

Characters 

Mr. Morton and Mrs. Morton, owners and residents of Holly Farm 
Mabel, George, Mildred and Fannie, their four grandchildren from the 
North 

Aunt Violet, the colored cook 

Napoleon Bonaparte Washington Augustus, her son 
Zeke, colored boy from neighboring farm 
Guests at Dinner, as many as convenient 

Costumes 

Mr. and Mrs. Morton: Ordinary home suits for well-to-do elderly 
people. Wear white wigs. 

Four Grandchildren : Neat traveling suits. 

Aunt Violet: Bright-colored print gown, gingham apron, head cov¬ 
ered with bandana kerchief. 


HIGHER GRADES 


131 


Napoleon Bonaparte Washington Augustus: Overalls and “jumper” 
of blue denim. Wears wig of Negro wool. 

Zeke : Same as foregoing. 

Guests : Ordinary costumes. As these characters pass and repass over 
the stage several times, their costumes must be quite inconspicuous. 

Scene 

Handsome interior of the present day. The room must be freely 
decorated with holly. Roses in vases must also be conspicuous. Imi¬ 
tation window at rear of stage. 

Matters must be so arranged that the same guests can pass across the 
stage in a continuous procession, thus giving the effect of a large com¬ 
pany, while employing only a few people. This may be done by the 
use of a second curtain, so that when it is lowered it will be made to 
appear that the guests are walking through a hall. This passage-way, 
must, however, be wide enough to allow Napoleon to stand at right 
front, while the guests are passing. Lines are given for Napoleon 
during this action, but as his speeches are all “asides” it will be a fine 
opportunity for “local hits.” These, however, from their nature must 
be left to Napoleon’s wit and ingenuity. This business may be con¬ 
tinued according to the mood of the audience; that is, as long as they 
seem to enjoy it. Napoleon must judge as to the proper moment for 
his closing speech, when the curtain falls immediately. 

Act I 

Mr. and Mrs. Morton discovered at rise of curtain. Mr. Morton is 
seated, reading newspaper. He must wear spectacles. Mrs. Morton 
wanders about the room adjusting ornaments, re-arranging chairs and 
making various impatient movements. 

Mr. Morton ; Mother, do come and sit down. What makes 
you so restless ? 

Mrs. Morton : Yes, I am restless, that’s true, but I really 
cannot help it. 

Mr. Morton: Nonsense! You must remember that the rain 
which caused the wash-out on the railroad, and so kept the 
children from arriving last night, has made the roads heavy 
between here and the station. 

Mrs. Morton: Yes, and it scattered my roses, too, dread¬ 
fully. (Goes to flowers.) I did fear that there would not be 
any roses for the vases today, but the dear things are blossomed 
out beautifully again this morning. (Goes to window.) 




132 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

Mr. Morton : Do stay away from that window! Come, sit 
down here. (She takes chair near him.) There is the latest 
“Century,” find a good story and the time will go swiftly. 
(She opens the book.) 

Napoleon (enters at right, running): O, Missus, they’s 
a-comin’, I seen ’em an’ I’s got ter be the fust one ter holler 
“Chrismus gif’” at dem. (Exits at left, running.) 

(Mr. and Mrs. Morton rise and go to window.) 

Mrs. Morton: Yes, yes, there they really are—let me see: 
yes, there is Mable—yes, and George—and can that be Mil¬ 
dred? How the child has grown! and darling little Fannie! 
O, I am the happiest grandmother in the world. 

Aunt Violet (enters at right): Now, Missus, jis’ ’splain dis 
yere ter me. What’s I goin’ ter do wif dat yere good-foh- 
nuffin, wuffless Napoleon Bonaparte Washington Augustus? 
Dere he is, run right down ter holler “Chrismus gif’ ” at dem 
young ladies an’ dat young gem’man what he ain’t neber seed 
afore in his life. Reckon dey tinks we-all s barbartarians. 

Mrs. Morton (turning from window): Don’t worry, Aunt 
Violet. Remember, altho’ the children know nothing of our 
Southern costumes, their mother was brought up in old Ala¬ 
bama and I am sure she has prepared them for Nap’s saluta¬ 
tion. 

Aunt Violet: Well, I’ll salioitation him if I kotches him. 
(Exit at right: calls behind scenes . “Napoleon Bonaparte 
Washington Augustus.”) 

(Enter at left, the Four Grandchildren. Napoleon fol¬ 
lows, carrying two suit cases. Enthusiastic greetings all 
around. Grandmother removes younger children's wraps 
and Mabel and George help themselves during the ensuing 
talk. All sit when wraps are removed.) 

Mabel: O! Grandmother, I never saw anything so perfectly 
delightful: roses in the yard and the weather so warm and 
sunny. 


HIGHER GRADES 


133 


Fannie : And I saw horses and cows running out in the fields 
as we came along. Isn’t that funny for them to be running 
about like that on Christmas Day ? 

Napoleon : What shall I do wif dese yere saddle-bags, 
Missus, what I’s done toted in here. 

Mrs. Morton : Take them to the guest chamber, of course, 
Nappy. (Napoleon goes off at left, carrying suit cases.) 

George: So that’s what you call him for short, I suppose? 
I declare, I thought Mabel would never stop laughing when 
he told her his name. 

Mildred : And you ought to have seen Mabel, Grandmother, 
when Nappy rushed up to the carriage and screamed out, 
“Christmus gif’, Missy.” She held out her hand as if she 
expected him to place in it a pearl necklace or some other fine 
gift. (All laugh.) 

Mabel: Well, in a moment or two I remembered about the 
funny custom among the darkies, that I’ve heard mother tell 
about, so I fished out half-a-dollar for him. 

Mr. Morton: It was too bad that you didn’t get here last 
night. Aunt Violet had some of her famous fried chicken for 

supper. 

George: Yes, Grandfather, but I’ve heard mother tell so 
often about the great hubbub Southerners make on Christmas 
Eve that I was almost glad our train was held in a big city 
until about one o’clock. My, what noises! I don’t suppose 
it could have been so noisy here. Fire-crackers shooting, big 
bells ringing and whistles blowing. 

Mabel: Would you have worried, Grandmother, if I hadn’t 
wired you about the washout? 

Grandmother: Yes, indeed, it was very thoughtful of you, 
dear, to send the message. 

Napoleqn (enters, much excited): O, Missus and Massa— 
de—torkey what—big Sam kill airly dis yer rnownin’—is— 
done—stole! 


134 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

Mr. and Mrs. Morton (rising excitedly): What do you 
mean? 

Mrs. Morton: Do you mean to tell me, Nappy, that some¬ 
one has come upon our premises and stolen our Christmas 
turkey ? 

Napoleon : Don’t know Missus what he tooked it wif, pwem- 
ises or hoss and caht or mewel, maybe, but de big torkey is 
done gone. 

Mr. Morton : Tell us how it happened, Nap. 

Napoleon : Dunno, Massa, how’t ’appened, if we’d knowed 
dat, reckon we’d a-stopped de percedings. 

Mrs. Morton : But, Nappy, are you sure it’s gone ? 

Napoleon: Daade sure, Missus. I was jis’ out in the gran¬ 
ary an’ big Sam says: “See dat yere big hook up dar ? Dat’s 
whar I hunged de torkey an’ dere hain’t no big torkey dere 
now.” An’ I looked an’ shore ’nough dar wa’nt no torkey 
dar, jis’ de big empty hook crookin’ up ober us. 

Mr. Morton : Go right out, Nap, and tell big Sam to kill 
the biggest turkey that’s left in the poultry-yard, and hurry, 
too, for your mammy’ll want to be getting it ready pretty 
quick. 

Napoleon: Yes, Massa, I’ll tell him ter hurry up. (Exit at 
right.) 

Mrs. Morton : Dear me, I hope this will not make the dinner 
late. 

Mr. Morton : Of course, it will not. Nap will run like the 
wind and big Sam will have the turkey’s head off in half-a- 
minute after he gets there, but I must confess it gives me a 
most uncomfortable feeling to know that anyone would come 
here and rob us in that bold way. (Resumes seat.) 

Mrs. Morton : Yes, think of it in broad daylight, too! (Goes 
to window.) I should think there’d be tracks around the 
granary. 


HIGHER GRADES 


135 


Mabel: But, Grandmother, why do you kill another turkey? 
That seems too bad. We could surely eat something else for 
dinner. 

Mr. and Mrs. Morton: No, indeed! 

Mrs. Morton : It would not seem like Christmas any more 
than Michaelmas would be Michaelmas without roast-goose. 
(Resumes seat.) 

George: When is Michaelmas, and do you always eat roast- 
goose then? 

Mrs. Morton : Michaelmas is on Sept. 29th and there is an 
old English superstition that to eat roast-goose on that day, 
brings success throughout the year, and, that if —(Call heard 
from behind scenes: “Napoleon Bonaparte Washington 
Augustus.” All stop and listen.) 

Napoleon (enters at right, pursued by Aunt Violet): O, 
Missus, doan let mammy lick me. (Runs to Mrs. Morton's 
chair and hides behind it. Aunt Violet pauses in middle of 
stage.) 

Mr. Morton : What’s the meaning of all this, Aunt Violet ? 

Aunt Violet: Jes’ dat good-foh-nuffin’ no-’count niggah, 
dat’s all, Massa. Make him come out o’ dat. He know I 
dassent tech him while he’s hidin’ back dar. 

Mrs. Morton: But what has he done, Aunt Violet? Now, 
you certainly mustn’t punish him for saying “Christmas gift” 
to Miss Mabel. 

Mabel: No, indeed, Aunt Violet, that was just the sort of 
welcome that I wanted. I’ve heard mother tell about it all so 
often. 

Aunt Violet: Hah! I reckon he’s done wussah’n dat. 

Mrs. Morton: But tell us, Aunt Violet, just what he has 
done. We insist upon knowing. 

Aunt Violet (angrily shaking her head and making other 
angry gestures while speaking): Now, I’ll jes tell ye, Missus. 
I jes’ done got my big fat torkey in the ovin—an’ my! but he 




136 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


am de big fat fellah—when in comes dat good-foh-nuffin’ wtiff- 
less Napoleon Bonaparte Washington Augustus totin’ anudder 
great big torkey, an’ say: “Hi Mammy, ye done git dis 
cookin’ dis yere minute.” An’ I say: “What ye mean ye bad 
black chile, what foh, I got ter cook two torkeys ? an’—” 

Mr. Morton : But, Aunt Violet, do you mean to tell us, you 
had already put a turkey into the oven when Nap came in with 
the second one? 

Aunt Violet: Shore, Massa. 

Mrs. Morton : But where did you get the first one ? 

Aunt Violet: Whar would I'git it but in the granary, an’ 
I had to go ah’ter it, too. I waited and waited for that lazy 
big Sam ter bring it, twell I was dat tihd, so I jes’ nachully 
goes out ter de granary an’ bwings it up ter de house myself, 
an’ den dat mizzable Napoleon Bonaparte Washington Au¬ 
gustus comes an’— 

Mr. Morton (laughing): There, there, Aunt Violet, Nap was 
not to blame: don’t scold him any more, he was only obeying 
orders, but, if you can, you’d better cook the second turkey, 
too. Do you suppose you can? 

Aunt Violet: Huh! Can? Well, I reckons I can, ef ye 
says ye wants it. 

Mrs. Morton (rising): Come out, Nap, and go with your 
mother, there, you can explain how all this happened. (Loud 
knocking at the left.) Come in. Who can it be so early in 
the day? (Zeke enters at left , carrying large covered basket.) 

Zeke (putting down basket and taking off hat, bows to Mr. 
and Mrs. Morton): Chrismus gif’, Missus; Chrismus gif’, 
Massa. Massa Newton sent me ober wif dis yere fine, fat tor- 
key so you-alls wouldn’t need kill one, ’case we has so many. 

Aunt Violet (throwing up her hands): Anudder torkey, 
day o’ jubilee! An’ what’ll I do wif anudder one? 

Mr. Morton (takes basket): That was mighty thoughtful 
of Mr. Newton, Zeke, but I wish they had sent you a little 
earlier. 


HIGHER GRADES 


137 


Zeke: Dey done stohted me off at seben o’clock dis mawnin’ 
but the rain ’d washed de bridge away, so I couldn’t cross the 
creek, an’ I had ter go away ’round by de big road an’ dat 
made me kin’-a-late. 

Mr. Morton: O, I see. Well, tell Mr. Newton we are very 
much obliged to him. (Looks in basket.) My, that is a big 
fat fellow! Here, Aunt Violet, do you think you can cook 
three turkeys? 

Aunt Violet: I mought start up de brick oven out-doors, 
sah, but who’s gwine eat all dem torkeys? (She takes basket.) 

Mrs. Morton : We’ll send Nap out to invite the neighbors in. 

Mr. Morton : So we can. Here, Zeke, is a Christmas gift 
for you from us. (Gives coin.) Now, go to the kitchen with 
Aunt Violet. She’ll give you something to eat after your long 
tramp. Nap, you come back in a few minutes and I’ll have 
notes for you to carry to our nearest neighbors. 

Napoleon : But, Massa, dey-alls has company. I seed de 
kawiges drivin’ up dar yistiday, an’ dis mawnin’, too. 

Mr. Morton : No matter, tell them to bring their company 
with them. (Exit Aunt Violet, Napoleon and Zeke, at 
right.) 

Mr. Morton : Now, Mother, I must write the notes—let me 
see, I’ll invite the Blakes, the Randolphs, and the Clays, and 
so with whatever company they may happen to have, I think 
we can dispose of the three turkeys. 

Mabel: But there are all the other things that we must have 
to go with the turkeys. 

Mrs. Morton : Don’t worry. Aunt Violet will see that there 
are plenty of sweet potatoes, Irish potatoes, corn, hominy, 
rice, tomatoes, beans, peas, spinach, beets, cucumbers, corn- 
bread, and beaten biscuit for the guests and ourselves, to say 
nothing of the pies and fixings. 

Mabel: O, Grandmother, you don’t mean to tell us that 
you will have all those things for dinner! 


13S 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Mrs. Morton : Why, certainly, child, we Southerners never 
eat dinner without at least seven kinds of vegetables, and, of 
course, at such a time as this, we must have a still greater 
variety. 

Mabel: But will all those people come? 

Mrs. Morton : Of course, they will. You will now learn 
the meaning of Southern hospitality and neighborliness. 

Curtain 

Act II 

Napoleon (enters at right, comes to left front): Jimminy 
crickets! dis yeah niggah hain’t nebe'r seen so many folkses 
sence last fo’th. Why, I suah ain’t nevah seen so many folkses 
at Holly Fahm. It suttingly is jes’ wussar ’n any bahbecue. 
Mammy sent me inter de pa’loh ter tell ’em dinner am sahved 
Golly, but dis yeah niggah was scairt: hi, dere dey comes, 
now. 

(Enter at right, Mr. Morton and Guest, folloived by Mrs. 
Morton and Guest, the Four Children and their Other 
Guests in couples. Napoleon's monologue is given at inter¬ 
vals, interspersed with certain local hits. It is, of course, ad¬ 
dressed wholly to the audience.) 

Napoleon: Mammy ’low when she seed the quality cornin’ 
up de dwive dat de whole of de state of Alamabie wah a-com- 
in’, an’ she says, “Run, Napoleon Bonaparte, and kill anudder 
torkey.” ’Mos’ a notion to tuk her at ’er word. Jes’ see ’em 
come, didn’t ’spect dar war so many white folkses in dis yeah 
kentry. I jes’ cain’t tell whar dey-alls come from. T’ink 
some on ’em must a growed up ober night jes’ lak dem 
musharooms does. Doan I wish dat good-foh-nuffin’, triflin’, 
wuffless niggah, Zeke, had jes’ nachully staid on tudder side 
o’ de creek when he found de bridge was tuk away, ’case I 
knows mighty well when dese folkses is all done gone, de 
fust t’ing I heahs will be, “Come ’long, dar, ye Napoleon 
Bonaparte Washington ’Gustus, an’ wipe dese yeah dishes 


HIGHER GRADES 


139 


f r yer mammy.” Jes’ see ’em come now. Golly! but I feel 
sorry f’r dem torkeys: won’t git no torkey soup out’n dem, 
I bet. I’s tried ter count ’em but I cain’t do it nohow: too 
much for my instertution. Dey comes so fast, my! reckon 
dey’s good an’ hungry de way dey comes a-climbin’. Mammy’s 
made ice-cream, and peahs lak I had ter turn dat ole freezah 
twell my arm’s most done brooked off its hinges, an’ den 
mammy say I cain’t hev none, not a tweenty leetle smell twell 
all de folkses done had enuff. Doan I wish I could jes’ stop 
everyone of ’em and holler “Christmus gif’,” but I’ll do it 
when dey gits ready ter go home, dat’s what I will. Dey’s all 
got to git out’n de fwont door an’ I’ll jes’ take my positioner 
right outside, an’, well I’ll gits a heap o’ silver, hi, dat’s de 
trick (turns hand-spring); bet I’ll mak’ more’n five dollahs 
an’ I’ll buy big Sam’s banjo. But, by golly, ef dere ain’t de 
last o’ ’em! Why I sartain suah t’ought dey’s gwine keep it 
up all day. 

Curtain 


NO CHRISTMAS IN THE HOUSE 

Marie Irish 

FOR THREE GIRLS AND TWO BOYS 

Characters 

Mr. and Mrs. Wallace Grandma Wallace Fred Alice 

Scene 

Living-room in the Wallace home. Discovered, Mr. Wallace reading, 
Mrs. Wallace sewing. 

Mrs. Wallace: Now, Samuel, let us talk about our plans 
for Christmas. What shall we do this year? I thought we 
might invite Henry’s folks here for the day, and— 

I Mr. Wallace (not looking up from paper): Christmas! 
Humph! 



140 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Mrs. Wallace: We can have a nice Christmas dinner and 
a tree and a jolly time. I think we can— 

Mr. Wallace: Christmas, nothing! I’m sick and tired of 
Christmas fuss and expense. Doesn’t do any good. 

Mrs. Wallace: Now, Samuel, don’t talk that way. You 
know the children just love Christmas and we must let them— 

Mr. Wallace: Let them nothing! We’re going to cut 
Christmas out. I don’t believe in all this botheration on Christ¬ 
mas. We will simply ignore the day hereafter. 

Mrs. Wallace: Why, Samuel Wallace! 

Mr. Wallace: It’s all humbug! What good does it do to 
shout “Merry Christmas” at folks and buy yourself poor, 
giving presents? It’s all bosh! 

Mrs. Wallace: You talk like a—a—barbarian. I think the 
Christmas customs are beautiful. It is a day of peace and 
love and good cheer and universal kinship. I believe in the 
day and all of its teachings. We can— 

Mr. Wallace: Maria, are you the head of this house or am 
I ? (Waves paper angrily.) I say we won’t have any Christ¬ 
mas in this house, and I mean it. 

Mrs. Wallace (excitedly): Samuel Wallace, do you mean 
that— 

Mr. Wallace (emphatically): I mean we are not going to 
give any Christmas presents, and we are not going to have 
any Christmas company, nor go around yelling “Merry Christ¬ 
mas.” We are going to cut the Christmas business out. 

Mrs. Wallace: You are a—a—a—heathen! The children 
will— 

Mr. Wallace: The children will do as I say. We have 
gone to Christmas trouble and expense for them long enough. 
They are ’most grown up anyway. 

(Enter Grandma.) 

Grandma: I have just been wondering what you are plan¬ 
ning to do Christmas. Are you going to— 


HIGHER GRADES 


141 


Mr. Wallace (angrily): Christmas! There it goes again! 
Mrs. Wallace (mournfully): Well, the truth is— 

Mr. Wallace (decidedly): The truth is — we’re not going 
to have any Christmas this year. It doesn’t mean anything— 
all foolishness. This crazy idea of giving presents to every¬ 
body makes me tired. 

Grandma (in horror): Do you mean you are not going to 
have a tree or give presents or—anything? (Sits.) 

Mr. Wallace: That is what I mean. 

Mrs. Wallace: Isn’t that terrible? 




Grandma : Samuel, I’m surprised at you. Can’t you remem¬ 
ber how you loved Christmas when you were a boy? How 
you talked about it for days before it came? How you en¬ 
joyed your presents and the good times you used to have? 


Mr. Wallace: All nonsense! This giving, giving, giving is 
a perfect nuisance. 

Grandma: A person doesn’t have to spend a lot of money. 
It is the love, and friendship, and cheer, and kindly words, 
and smiles you give that count as much as the presents. The 
love of the Christ-child in our hearts should make Christmas 
the best day in the year. I hope you do not mean— 


Mr. Wallace: I mean what I say. No Christmas in this 
house! 

Grandma (throzving up her hands): What a shame! 

Mrs. Wallace : Isn’t it wicked? 


(Enter Alice.) 

Alice : Oh, Mamma, have you decided what we are going to 
do Christmas ? Can’t we have a tree and invite— 

Mr. Wallace: Christmas again! Can’t this family talk of 
anything else? I can’t even read the newspaper because of 
this chatter about Christmas. 

Alice: Why shouldn't we talk of it, Papa? Christmas is the 
best day of the year. Can’t we have a house party and invite 




142 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Uncle Henry’s folks and have a jolly time like we used to 
when Fred and I were little? 

Grandma (shaking head sadly): Your father says— 

Mrs. Wallace (mournfully): Your father says that— 

Mr. Wallace (waving paper): Your father says we are not 
going to have any Christmas this year. I don’t want the fuss 
and I won’t stand the expense so we won’t give any presents 
nor go to any trouble. 

Alice (sinking down in a chair and looking from one to an¬ 
other): No presents! No Christmas! Why, Papa, are you 
crazy ? 

Mr. Wallace: Certainly not! the rest of you are Christmas- 
crazy. 

Alice: Why, Papa, we shall be perfectly lost without our 
usual Christmas. I should as soon expect to go deaf and dumb 
and blind as to have the twenty-fifth of December come and 
not keep Christmas. 

Mr. Wallace : That will do, Alice. You have said enough. 
I don’t want to hear any more about it. 

Alice : Papa, I should as soon have expected you to turn 
cannibal! (Alice and Mrs. Wallace and Grandma all be¬ 
gin to weep.) 

(Enter Fred.) 

Fred (in surprise): What’s the matter? Who’s dead? 
Alice (weeping): Christmas is. 

Fred: Christmas dead! What do you mean? 

Alice: Might as well be—or else we might as well be dead 
for papa says we can’t have any Christmas this year. 

Fred (to Mr. Wallace): No Christmas! What are we 
going to do? 

Mr. Wallace: You will do just as you do any other com¬ 
mon day—work, eat, drink and live. (Jumps up.) Christmas 
is a bother, a nuisance, a humbug, a fake! (Throws paper on 


HIGHER GRADES 


143 


floor.) A lot of formality! A time of extortion! (Bangs 
fist on the table.) I don’t want to hear it mentioned again. 

Fred: Christmas will be just like a funeral to us. Why, I 
was just going to ask if I couldn’t have Jasper Ellis here for 
the day, because it’s so far he can’t go home, and I was afraid 
he might be lonesome. Why can’t we be happy and' make 
others happy and keep Christmas— 

Mr. Wallace (stamping foot): Didn’t I tell you not to say 
Christmas again ? 

Grandma: To think I should have lived to see you go back 
on Christmas! 

Mrs. Wallace: We’ll put crape on our door and sit in sack 
cloth and ashes Christmas Day. 

Alice : And be the most miserable family in the world be¬ 
cause we might have had Christmas and couldn’t because papa 
wouldn't. 

Mr. Wallace: If you want to act like a lot of lunatics about 
it I can’t help it but I mean what I have said—no Christmas. 
( Exit.) 

Grandma : I shall not stay here and be miserable. I’ll go to 
Mary’s for Christmas. 

Alice: Oh, can’t I go, too, Mamina? 

Mrs. Wallace: Your father will not let you. 

Alice: I’ll run away and go. 

j Mrs. Wallace : Don’t talk that way—it isn’t proper. 

Fred: It isn’t proper for pa to be such a grouch, either. 
The idea of one person making a whole family miserable at 
the best time of the year. It’s abominable! 

I Mrs. Wallace : Perhaps it won’t turn out as bad as we 
think. We’ll hone for the best. 

Alice: Faithful to Christmas we will be, in spite of papa 
and his harsh decree. 

Grandma: Oh, for a son— 






144 THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 

Mrs. Wallace (following rapidly ): Oh, for a husband 
Alice: Oh, for a father— 

All (sighing and shaking heads mournfully ): Who wasn’t 
a Christmas grouch! 


TRIALS OF CHRISTMAS SHOPPING 

Marie Irish 

FOR THREE GIRLS AND ONE BOY 

Characters 

Grandma Barton, Mr. John Barton, Mrs. Barton, Miss Edith 
Barton. 

Scene 

The Barton’s sitting-room. Discovered, Mrs. Barton, who comes in 
with several bundles. 

Mrs. Barton : Dear me! Such a time as I’ve had trying to 
buy some Christmas presents! I’m thankful to get home 
alive. (Throws bundles on a chair.) I don’t see why peo¬ 
ple will leave their Christmas shopping until the last minute! 
(Takes off hat and coat and lays them on table.) There was 
such a crowd I could scarcely get near the counters. (Sits.) 

(Enter Edith, carrying a number of bundles.) 

Edith : Mercy! I’m glad to get home. Such a crush—and 
of course I couldn’t find anything that suited me. I hate to 
buy Christmas presents! (Throws her bundles on the table.) 
There’s only one thing I hate worse than buying them and 
that is—paying for them. 

Mrs. Barton : Why, my dear, I hope you don’t want to get 
them without paying for them. 

Edith (throwing coat and hat on a chair and sitting down): 
Oh, no, but money does go so dreadfully fast! 

Mrs. Barton: Did you finish your shopping? 


HIGHER GRADES 


145 


Edith (sighing): Of course not! No matter how much 
one buys you always think of someone you’ve forgotten to set 
a present for. s 

Mrs. Barton : I don’t suppose half the things I bought will 
suit me, now I have them home. It is very hard to decide 
what you want, with people sticking elbows into both your 
sides and poking you in the back. I’m glad Christmas onlv 
comes once a year. 

Edith (laughing) : I guess papa is, too, the way he grumbles 
over giving us Christmas money. Did you get a present for 
papa? 

Mrs. Barton : Oh, yes, it’s easy to pick out presents for him. 
I got him some socks. They— 

Edith : Why, I bought socks for him, too. They’re fright¬ 
fully homely—purple and green—but I was in such a hurry 
it was the best I could do. 

Mrs. Barton : It’s too bad you hadn’t got him a necktie. 
But I guess he’ll wear the socks out all right—it won’t matter. 

Edith : Oh, no, it doesn’t matter about papa. He likes any¬ 
thing that is useful and he doesn’t remember two days what 
a person gives him. I bought a book for Cousin Bess. Books 
make nice presents because one never has too many of them 
—unless they’re duplicates. I don’t know whether this one is 
interesting but the pictures look quite sentimental so I guess 
Bess will like it. 

Mrs. Barton : Well, if it has a pretty binding it will at least 
look nice on the book shelves. 

Edith : I got a pin for Della Eldrige. It’s just the dearest 
thing. I’d just like to keep it for myself but Della always 
gives me something nice and she must have this. It is a 
beauty and I got it at a bargain—one dollar and twenty-five 
cents, marked down to only a dollar-nineteen. Did you get 
something for Aunt Eldora ? 

Mrs. Barton : Yes, I got her a dish—a very sweet one. I 
don’t know what it’s for—but that doesn’t matter as long as 


146 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


it’s pretty. I guess she can put calling cards or bonbons or 
pickles—or something in it. Dishes are always in good taste 
and I didn’t know what else to get. 

Edith : I did have the worst time selecting something for 
Aunt Charlotte—you know she always gives me something 
nice. I went to the jeweler’s and looked at a brooch, and went 
to the book-store and looked at books. I examined collars and 
handkerchiefs and toilet articles and finally bought a silver- 
mounted powder-box. It is awfully sweet. 

Mrs. Barton : Why, Edith Barton! Don’t you know that 
Aunt Charlotte just abominates face powder? She never 
uses it. 

Edith: Oh, my, goodness! Is that so? I forgot all about it. 
Well, she can use it to put tooth powder in. (Laughs.) 

Mrs. Barton : No, you can’t give it to her. You’ll have to 
give the powder-box to Della Eldrige and give the pin you 
got for her to Aunt Charlotte. That will fix it all right. 

Edith (sighing): Oh, dear! Della has three powder-boxes 
now —-but of course I’m not expected to remember that. 

Mrs. Barton: Certainly not! I bought a beautiful pair of 
opera glasses for your pa’s sister, Melissa. You know we 
have to keep on the good side of her. 

Edith (throwing up hands): Opera glasses! Why, Mamma,- 
how ridiculous! Don’t you know that Aunt Melissa never 
goes to operas, or theatres or anything of the sort? She’s 
dreadfully against them! 

Mrs. Barton : Horrors! I guess that’s so—come to think 
of it. I’d forgotten. (Sighs.) Oh, how wearing this Christ¬ 
mas shopping is. I guess I can exchange the opera glasses for 
a piece of cut-glass. 

Edith : And, oh, Mamma, I got something awfully sweet for 
you. 

Mrs. Barton : Why, my dear, I don’t like sweet things. 
They make my teeth ache. 


HIGHER GRADES 


147 


Edith (laughing): Oh, it isn’t anything to eat , of course. 
I only meant that it is a love of a present 

(Enter Mr. Barton, with armful of bundles.) 

Edith : Oh, Papa, have you been buying presents ? 

Mr. Barton (dropping his bundles in pile on floor): Sure, 
heaps of ’em! Got some Jim dandies! Doesn’t take me three 
weeks to do my Christmas shopping as it does you women. 
I go ahead and buy and get through with it. 

Mrs. Barton : Whom did you buy presents for ? 

Mr. Barton : Oh, er, ’most everybody—all except you two. 
Thought I wouldn’t give either of you a present this year. 

Edith: Papa, now don’t tell bad stories—it’s wicked. You 
did buy me something and if it isn’t nice I’ll be awfully mad 
at you. 

Mr. Barton : I got Cousin Bess a pair of shoes—real 
beauties. 

Mrs. Barton : What size did you get ? 

Mr. Barton (proudly): I got “five’s.” Thought I’d have ’em 
plenty large. 

Mrs. Barton : Why, mercy sakes! Bess will be mad enough 
to kill you—she only wears two-and-a-half’s and is very proud 
of her small feet. 

Edith (laughing): You’ve got your foot in it, Papa. 

Mr. Barton (grimly): Well, she can get her feet in those 
shoes, too, I guess. I got Eldora something fine—a thing-a- 
bob to put over your head, fascinator I guess you call it. It’s 
a beauty I tell you—sort of bright pink color. 

Edith (in astonishment): Why, Papa! A bright pink fasci¬ 
nator when Aunt Eldora has red hair! She’ll devour you. 

Mr. Barton (scratching head): Well—er—if she eats me 
and Bess kills me I’ll be pretty near done for. I bought 
brother Thomas a book—got a real religious one ’cause he’s 
so pious. The name of it is—er—why—oh, yes, “King Solo¬ 
mon’s Mines.” 


148 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Mrs. Barton: “King Solomon’s Mines?” You think that’s 
religious ? It is one of Rider Haggard’s novels. Religious, in¬ 
deed! 

Mr. Barton : Why, wasn’t Solomon one of those old Bible 
fellows ? 

Mrs. Barton : Yes, of course, but that book is a regular yarn. 
I guess Thomas will enjoy your selection. (Laughs.) He 
will never read it. 

Mr. Barton: You two women think you are smart finding 
fault with everything I bought. I won’t tell you another 
thing—except that I bought Jack a watch-charm. He said 
he wanted one. 

Mrs. Barton: A watch-charm! So did I! 

Edith: A watch-charm? That’s what I bought him. (All 
laugh.) 

Mr. Barton : This Christmas shopping is a miserable busi¬ 
ness. 

(Enter Grandma.) 

Grandma (looking around at bundles): My, my, I suppose 
you’ve been doing Christmas shopping! You must have 
bought lots. You ought to make your Christmas presents the 
way I do. They’re more satisfactory. (Sits.) I have knit 
Thomas some nice warm winter socks, good heavy wool ones. 

Mr. Barton (aside): Good land! Thomas never wears 
woolen socks and she has been knitting them for him for 
years. He must have a garret full of them. 

Grandma: And I have made Melissa some beautiful bath 
cloths all crocheted around with blue. They look nice enough 
for tidies. 

Edith (aside, giggling): And Aunt Melissa never uses a 
bath cloth. She won’t use anything but a sponge. 

Grandma: I have made Charlotte a half-a-dozen iron-hold¬ 
ers: very pretty ones, of bright worsted, pieced in log cabin 
style. I always like to see nice-looking iron-holders. 


HIGHER GRADES 


149 


Mrs. Barton (aside): And Charlotte never uses an iron- 
holder. She always sends her clothes to the laundry. 

Grandma : No, I don’t believe in buying presents and getting 
something a person doesn’t want or doesn’t need. I believe 
in making things that are useful and are suitable. Edith, I 
came in to see if you will run down to the store and get some 
red yarn to finish William’s slippers. I must get them finished 
or he won’t get them by Christmas. 

Edith : Certainly, Grandma dear. I’ll go right away. I’ll 
have to go back and get a present for Cousin Margaret—I 
forgot her when I was down. 

Mrs. Barton : I’ll go with you and change the opera glasses. 

Mr. Barton : Well, I’m as tired as if I’d pitched hay for a 
week. Christmas shopping is no picnic. Guess I’ll lie down. 

Grandma : Now, Edith, do hurry back with the yarn or I’ll 
have to sit up half the night working on those slippers. 

Curtain 


CHRISTMAS IN THE AIR 

Marie Irish 

for five girls and six boys 

Characters 

Dan, the lame boy who walks with the aid of a crutch 

Mrs. Newton, who has a small baby with her 

Mr. Genial, with lots of bundles 

Susie Olson, a Swede housemaid 

James Denton, a cheerful young man 

Mrs. Tiredly, a working woman 

Grandma Bascom, traveling alone 

Miss Moneybags, a wealthy young lady 

Mr. Grumpy, a sour man 

Mr. Goodwill, who looks on the bright side 

Conductor, of the street car 


150 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Scene 

A street-car interior. (Can be arranged by simply placing two 
chairs side by side for a seat, having three or four seats on either 
side, with an aisle between them.) 

Discovered, Mr. Goodwill, James Denton, Mr. Grumpy and the con¬ 
ductor. 

Conductor: All aboard! 

Grandma Bascom (hurrying in with a satchel): Mercy sakes, 
let me get on quick! Don’t you go without me. 

James D. (jumping up and taking the satchel and putting it in 
a seat): Let me help you, Grandma. 

Grandma: I’m going to my son, Abner’s, for Christmas. I 
s’pose they are looking for me. (She sits.) You don’t know 
Abner, do you? He works in a furniture store. 

James D. : No, I don’t know him. I suppose you will have 
a fine Christmas with them. 

Grandma : Oh, my, yes! I haven’t seen ’em for a year. He’s 
got an awful nice wife. They’re dreadful pleased I’m coming. 

Mr. Goodwill: I guess most of us are looking forward to 
a good time Christmas. It’s a great day. 

Grumpy: Great day nothing! It’s all a fake! Ridiculous 
custom, this giving presents to folks so they’ll give you one. 
What good does it all do? 

Conductor : Twenty-first street. 

(Enter Mrs. Tiredly and takes a seat.) 

Grandma: Why, I think Christmas is splendid. I hang up 
my stocking yet—old as I am. (Laughs.) 

James D.: So do I. Christmas is all right. Best time of the 
year. 

Grumpy: Extorting presents—that’s all it is! 

Goodwill: It isn’t the presents we get and give so much 
as it is the fellowship and good-will that’s in the air. Seems 
as if it’s sort of catching and ’most everybody has a -soft heart 
at Christmas. 


HIGHER GRADES 


151 


Conductor: Fare! (Takes fare from Grandma and Mrs. 
Tiredly.) 

Grumpy : It isn’t soft hearts—it’s soft heads people have. I 
tell you, Christmas is a graft. 

Grandma: I’m real sorry for you, sir, that you don’t like 
Christmas. Don’t you give anybody presents? Maybe if you 
tried to make somebody happy you’d enjoy it better. My, I 
make lots of presents for folks and just love it. 

Goodwill (slapping his knee): Splendid idea! The way to 
keep Christmas is to do some good to someone. 

Grumpy: Not I! I’m not one of the crazy fanatics who try 
to do good. Folks don’t get any Christmas benefits out of me. 

James D.: Too bad! 

Mrs. Tiredly: Oh, I think Christmas is just fine! I work 
in a store and everybody has been just lovely this week. Seems 
as if Christmas is in the air and we all caught the spirit. The 
proprietor gave each one of us a bill for a Christmas present 
and the girl who works next to me gave me a present and 
several of them gave me presents for my little girl. They’re 
all so good. I just love Christmas. 

Conductor: Twenty-fourth street. 

(Enter Mrs. Newton, carrying baby* and a shopping bag.) 

Mrs. Newton (to baby): Sh-hh-di-h-h! There, there don’t 
cry. ( Sits.) 

Grumpy : A crying baby! Perfect nuisance in a street-car. 
Ought to be kept at home. 

Mrs. Newton : Sh-h-h-h-h ! Now, now, dearie, don’t cry. 
(Jounces baby.) 

Goodwill: Don’t you worry, ma’am, because it cries. It’ll 
stop. 

Grandma: Maybe the little thing is hungry. 

*Baby can be made by using a large doll, wrapped in long coat and 
wearing hood, etc. 



152 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


James D. (cheerfully): Never mind the baby! It’s just cry¬ 
ing for Santa Claus to come and bring it some candy. 

Mrs. Tiredly: Poor, little dear. Can’t I hold it for you, 
madam ? 

Mrs. Newton : She would be afraid of you. Fve been down 
town doing Christmas shopping and she is tired. But aren’t 
the stores full of pretty things? I love to see them. (To 
baby:) Sh-h-h-h-h! 

Grumpy: Conductor, that baby ought to be put off. 

Conductor: Let the baby alone—it’s been buying Christmas 
presents and is crying because it had to go home. (Takes 
fare from Mrs. Newton.) 

James D. (going over and poking baby with finger): There, 
there, Santa Claus will come pretty soon. Do you want him 
to bring you a rattle? (Triumphantly:) Now, she’s stopped. 
I’ve charmed her. (Goes back to seat.) 

Conductor: Thirtieth street. Change for Vernon avenue. 
(Enter Miss Moneybags, richly dressed.) 

Grandma: Now, Conductor, don’t you forget to let me off 
at Sixty-first street. I s’pose they’re getting dreadful anxious 
to see me. 

Conductor : Don’t you fear, Grandma. I’ll let you off. 

James D.: That’s where I get off, Grandma. I’ll see you 
safely to your destination. 

Grandma: Oh, I ain’t going to a destination—I’m just going 
to my son’s for Christmas. 

Mrs. Tiredly (delightedly): I’m going to have the dearest 
little Christmas tree for my little girl. She will be wild over 
it. She has teased for a big dolly but I couldn’t afford a big 
one—rent and everything costs so much—but I’ve got her a 
cunning little doll. 

James D.: Shame she couldn’t have a big one! Little folks 
always like big presents. Like to get one for her myself—if 
I hadn’t spent my last dollar on presents already. (Laughs.) 


HIGHER GRADES 


153 


Miss Moneybags (kindly): Oh, I’d love to send her one. 
I bought a lot of dolls to give to little folks and I have a large 
one left. Do, please, write your address on this card and I’ll 
send it over to your house. (Hands card and pencil to Mrs. 
Ti redly.) 

Mrs. Tiredly: Oh, I can’t thank you enough! Christmas is 
lovely and everyone is so kind. 

Miss Moneybags (smiling): It’s in the air, you know. 
(Takes card.) 

Grumpy: Well, of all the crazy talk I ever heard. Christ¬ 
mas! Christmas!! I’ll be glad to get off. 

Goodwill: I wish you’d get a change of heart before you 
leave us. Christmas is a grand custom if you get the right 
spirit. 

Grumpy- None of it for me. All foolishness! 

Conductor: Forty-first street. (Exit Grumpy.) 

(Enter Dan, walking with crutch.) 

Goodwill: I’m glad that old grouch got off: old hard-heart. 

Grandma: He’s just terrible, poor man. 

James D.: He ought to be shut up for cranking about Christ¬ 
mas. 

Miss Moneybags (sweetly): Oh, we must not judge him, for 
he may have a reason for being so sad. 

Mrs. Tiredly: He isn’t sad—he’s sour! 

Grandma (to Dan): You going home for Christmas, too? 

Dan (happily): Yes, ma’am. My, I’m glad to go! I’ve been 
in the hospital for six weeks with a bad leg. Maybe I’m not 
glad to get out! I can go to work again soon. 

Grandma (to Conductor) : Conductor, don’t you let me miss 
my street. (To Dan:) My, it must have cost you a lot— 
I’ve heard hospitals cost just dreadful. 


154 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Dan (sighing): Yes, it did. My brother helped me and I m 
going to pay him back. (Cheerfully:) I’ll come out all right, 
I guess. * Only thing I feel bad about is that I haven’t any 
money left to buy Christmas presents for my mother and the 
children. I hate to go home empty-handed. 

Grandma (fishing in satchel): Now, see here, you just take 
this to your mother. I was going to give it Abner’s wife but 
I’ll get her another one. You take this—I love to give Christ¬ 
mas presents. 

Dan: Why, why, thank you—you’re awful kind. (Takes 
handkerchief from Grandma.) 

Mr. Goodwill: Bless me—I’m not going to let Grandma 
have all the fun. Here, my boy, you just take this and get 
some presents tomorrow. (Gives Dan a dollar.) 

Miss Moneybags: Who was your doctor? 

Dan : Dr. Emil Harrington. 

Miss Moneybags : Oh, how nice! I’m well acquainted with 
him. I am going to see him about your bill at the hospital. I 
know I can get it reduced. 

Dan: Thanks—thank you very much. You’re all dreadful 
good to me. 

James D.: And those of us who are strapped give you sym¬ 
pathy. Wish I could help you out. 

Dan : I don’t see why you’re so good to me. 

Mr. Goodwill: Because it’s Christmas-time and we believe 
in living up to the spirit of the day. Christmas is in the air, 
and we’re interested in everybody. 

Conductor: Fiftieth street! (Exit Mrs. Newton and Baby.) 

(Enter Susie Olson with a basket on her arm and Mr. 
Genial, loaded with bundles.) 

James D.: Oh, here comes Santa Claus! 

Mr. Genial: I do look like it, don’t I? At least I have 
’most enough bundles. (Piles packages on door and sits. 
Susie stands in the aisle , looking around.) 


HIGHER GRADES 


155 


Miss Moneybags (to Susie) : You may sit with me if you 
wish. 

Susie : Oh, tank you! I skall be much oblige. I go home 
to have a yolly time for Christmas. I skall take lots of presents 
for my folks. (Laughs.) 

Miss Moneybags: That is fine. We all love Christmas. 

Grandma : Conductor, don’t forget to let me off at the right 
place! 

Conductor: Now, Grandma, don’t you worry. I’m looking- 
after you. 

Grandma: Oh, I knew you wouldn’t forget, but I just 
thought I’d tell you about it. (To Mr. Genial:) You must 
be going to have a Christmas tree. 

Mr. Genial: I should say so! We’re going to have my 
brother Henry’s folks and my sister Mary’s folks and my 
wife’s sister’s folks and her father and mother all for Christ¬ 
mas and have the best time going. That’s why I’ve got so 
many bundles. 

Susie: I ban so glad when Christmas skall come. Every- 
bodies ban awful good at Christmas. My mistress did gave 
me beautiful new dress. 

Conductor: Fifty-sixth street. 

Mr. Goodwill: This is where I get off. Merry Christmas, 
everybody. 

Everyone (heartily): Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! 
Dan (calling): And lots of them. 

Mrs. Tiredly: Oh, I do wish everyone was going to have 
as happy a Christmas as I am. 

Dan (happily): Well, I ain’t got any kick coming. My 
Christmas will be all right. 

Grandma : Well, I’m so happy to visit Abner’s folks I can 
scarcely wait another minute. 

James D. : We’re ’most there, Grandma. 


156 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Mr. Genial: I always feel like saying “God bless every¬ 
body” at Christmas-time. 

Miss Moneybags: So do I, and I think He does bless peo¬ 
ple at Christmas and He blesses us when we help make Christ¬ 
mas a happy day. 

Conductor : Sixty-first street. Here you are, Grandma! 
Everybody change here. (All get up and begin to pick up 
bundles, etc.) 

James D. (taking satchel): Come on, Grandma! (Everyone 
says “Merry Christmas,” “Hope you’ll have a good time,” etc., 
as the curtain goes down.) 


THE GREAT SALE 

Clara J. Denton 

FOR FIVE BOYS AND ANY NUMBER OF GIRLS 


BOYS 

Jack Frost 
Blue Beard 
The Prince 
Jack-the-Giant-Killer 
Santa Claus 


Characters 

GIRLS 

Little Red Riding Hood 

Cinderella 

Mother Hubbard 

Fairies (as many as possible) 


As this play is quite long it may be shortened whenever desired by 
omitting all the songs except Blue Beard’s and that of' the Fairies, or 
still further shortened by omitting the Fairies and all parts connected 
with them. These parts are enclosed by asterisks. 


Costumes 

Jack Frost: White suit and tall white cap, trimmed with silver tin¬ 
sel; white wig. 

Blue Beard: Dark suit, long black beard. 

Prince: Black velvet suit, trimmed with gilt braid, hat with long 
white plume. 

Jack-the-Giant-Killer: Ordinary suit, drags an imitation bean¬ 

stalk made of heavy wire wound with green paper. 


HIGHER GRADES 


157 


Santa Claus : Usual costume, with well-filled pack on his back. 
Red Riding Hood: Scarlet cap and hood, carries covered basket. 
Cinderella: Shabby house-dress. 

Mother Hubbard: Short calico gown; wide-frilled, white cap, walks 
with cane. 

Fairies : Short, white gowns, very full, gauze wings trimmed with 
tinsel. 

Scene 

Plain stage, large poster at rear, with the words For Sale on it in 
large letters, visible to audience. 

Jack Frost (makes pompous entrance, comes to center and 
sings*): 

Air: "those evening bells", p. 27, “Merry MelodiesY’ 

The king of all am I, indeed, 

All living things my power must heed, 

And though I wander all unheard 
Before me drop man, beast and bird. 

/-■ 

My flight I take from sea to sea— 

Few are the laws which hamper me, 

And flower and fruit when I draw nigh, 

Their summer sweetness all throw by. 

The sun alone my power can stay, 

And he can only rule by day, 

While I, through all ttie long, long night, 

In silence prove my wondrous might. 

Chorus: 

Yes, King, great King am I of all 
None dare dispute my mighty thrall. 

^Should it be decided to omit the songs, Jack Frost sees the poster 
immediately upon coming on the stage, and his part begins with the 
spoken words “What’s this?” In omitting the songs there will be no 
confusion if a little care is observed in making the connections. The 
parts within the asterisks are to be omitted only when the Fairies are 
taken out. By arranging the play in this way it is made adaptable to 
various occasions and circumstances. 
fPrice, 15 cents, postpaid. 



158 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Jack Frost (turns and sees poster, goes to it as he asks the 
question): What’s this? (Reads:) “For Sale: All tfcfc 
rights and um-um—that’s a long word (spells it) e-m-o-l-u- 
m-e-n-t-s, (pronounces it uncertainly) of Santa Claus. Pur¬ 
chaser must understand the feeding of reindeer, and must take 
possession of property on the evening of Dec. 24th. The pur¬ 
chaser is expected to make his own figures. Payments may 
be made in ten, yearly installments, providing satisfactory se¬ 
curity is given.” (Returns to center.) That suits me exactly. 

I have always wanted old Santa’s job. He’s getting pretty 
old and needs a rest. I don’t wonder that he wants to sell out. 
But I wish I knew what that long word means, let me see, 
what was it? (Runs to poster, and then comes down repeat¬ 
ing over and over with difficulty the word “ emoluments”) 
Now that might mean some very troublesome animals! how 
I wish I knew. (Stands lost in thought a moment.) But, hark! 
I hear some one coming (runs about excitedly) . I don’t want 
anyone else to see that poster. I’ve a good mind to tear it 
down. Don’t dare to do that either, for it’s possible old Santa 
himself is coming. O, my icicles! What does this mean ? 

*** ********* 

Fairies (enter at left to lively music, they dance across stage 
and back to center, where they stand in a careless group facing 
Jack Frost and sing): 

fairies’ song 

Air: “the city band” (omitting chorus), p. 50, “Merry 
M elodies.” 

Jack Frost, Jack Frost, what are you doing here, 

O, Jack Frost, O, Jack Frost, 

You make us feel so queer. 

Jack Frost, Jack Frost, you surely ought to know 
We don’t love ice and snow. 

Jack Frost (aside): Just listen to that! telling me to go away 
when I was here first, and I didn’t send them an invitation to 
come, either. 


HIGHER GRADES 


159 


Fairies (singing again): 

Jack Frost, Jack Frost, O, if you only knew, 

We don’t love, we don’t love, 

To get a sight of you. 

Jack Frost, Jack Frost, O, can’t you understand? 
Haste to your frozen land! 

Jack Frost (to them): Yes, I’m neither deaf nor stupid, but 
please remember that I belong around at Christmas-time as 
much as does old Santa himself. You are the ones who would 
better be off. I have never heard of fairies having anything 
to do with Christmas. Besides there is someone coming, and 
there is no telling what may happen to you if you hang around 
here much longer. 


Fairies (continuing their song): 

Jack Frost, Jack Frost, whoever may appear, 

We are all fairies true, 

And we can have no fear. 

Jack Frost, O, Jack Frost, sharp the eyes must be 
A fairy here to see. 

(Soft music is played and they dance to rear of stage and gather 
in close group at right just as Blue Beard enters.) 

************ 

Blue Beard (sees poster and goes to it): Hello! What’s this 
big sign about ? Wish I knew. It may be some pretty young 
girl wants a handsome husband just like me. (Sees Jack Frost 
and comes down.) Good morning, Jack Frost, I thought it 
seemed pretty chilly around here, but tell me, that’s a good 
fellow, what that big sign says. 

Jack Frost (gruffly): Can’t you read? It says: For Sale. 

Blue Beard: For sail? How nice! Oh, I just delight in 
sailing. (Jigs as though anticipating great pleasures.) 


160 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Blue Beard (comes to center and sings): 

' SONG 

Air’ "work for the night is coming/' in “Fountain Song 
Book , No. 4.*” 

Now for a sail, come hasten, 

Over the ocean wide. 

Ho! for a sail, so merry, 

Comrade by my side. 

Nought do I love so dearly 
When every wave runs high, 

Away o’er the ocean lightly, 

On swift wings to fly. 

Riding the white-capped billows, 

Scorning the danger nigh, 

Still like a wild-bird flying, 

While the curlews cry. 

Yes, for a sail so merry, 

Come let us haste away, 

Why do we tarry, tarry? 

Come, eve flits the day. 

Jack Frost : Why, man alive, what ails you ? Did you make 
that song up just now? 

Blue Beard: Of course! I can make up a song anytime 
when you talk about taking a sail. But come on, why don’t we 
start? What are you waiting for? 

Jack Frost (aside): What an old ignoramus he must be, not 
to know the difference between s-a-l-e and s-a-i-1, and I don’t 
want to tell him, either. 

Blue Beard: What’s the matter with you, Jack Frost? Stop 
your muttering there to yourself and let’s be off; there’s a 
fine wind now for a sail. 


*Price, 10 cents, postpaid. 




HIGHER GRADES 


161 


Jack Frost : O, see here, you’re all off, it isn’t that kind of a 
sail at all. Can’t you read ? 

Blue Beard: No, to tell you the plain truth I can’t, I used to 
know how when I was a little chap, but since I’ve been grown 
up, I’ve forgotten how the words go, but you are so clever you 
can read it to me. If it isn’t a,sail in a boat what kind is it ? 

Jack Frost (aside): What’s a fellow to do, I’d like to know? 
If I tell him exactly as it is, it would be just like him to want 
to buy old Santa out himself, for he always grabs everything 
in sight; that’s why he has so many wives. I must make 
something about the sale. 

Blue Beard: Whatever ails you, old chap? Are you study¬ 
ing a part for private theatricals? Come on, and read the 
poster. (They go to it.) 

Jack Frost (reading aloud): “For sale at a great bargain: a 
first-class touring-car.” (To Blue Beard:) That’s one of 
those things, you know, that runs itself; no horses, you know, 
but gasoline, or— 

Blue Beard (interrupting): O, I don’t want that thing. 

Jack Frost: You could take all your wives out riding at once. 

Blue Beard: My wives have something else to do. 

(They come down to left-front as the Prince enters at right 
of stage. He sees poster, goes to it and begins to read it slozvly 
and in a very loud voice. Jack Frost takes Blue Beard by 
the arm and leads him toward left exit, but just as they are 
about to disappear the Prince pronounces the words Santa 
Claus. Blue Beard then pauses, and turning toward the 
Prince listens to the remainder of the reading, although Jack 
Frost continues to pull him by the arm. At the conclusion of 
the reading Blue Beard runs to the Prince, and Jack Frost, 
then, in dumb show behind Blue Beard tries to make the 
Prince understand that he does not wish Blue Beard to know 
about the poster. This action must be very spirited and ex¬ 
pressive and must continue until Jack Frost’s next speech.) 

Blue Beard (to the Prince) : Who are you, anyway? 


162 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Prince : O, how are you Blue Beard ? Is it possible that you 
don’t know me? Well, it is true that we don’t meet very 
often. I am the Prince who wakened the Sleeping Beauty. 

Blue Beard : O, yes, now I remember you; you married the 
beautiful princess and so lived happily ever after. 

Prince : Yes, that’s right, we lived happily ever after. 

Blue Beard: But, tell me, Prince, did you read the poster 
exactly as it is printed there? 

Prince: Indeed, I did, word for word. 

Blue Beard: Well, then, Jack Frost- 

Jack Frost : O, come along with me, what’s the use of listen¬ 
ing to him any longer ? 

************ 
Fairies (run to center of stage and sing ): 

SONG 

Air: "Michigan, my Michigan,” in “Pat’s Pick*” 

You’re having such a dreadful time, 

Jackie Frost, poor Jackie Frost, 

We think you’d better leave this clime, 

Jackie Frost, poor Jackie Frost. 

O, yes, indeed, you’d better go 

Far to the land where snow-balls grow; 

You are not wanted here, we know, 

Jackie Frost, poor Jackie Frost, 

We’ve long been wondering why you’re here, 

Jackie Frost, poor Jackie Frost, 

Because you make us feel so queer, 

Jackie Frost, poor Jackie Frost. 


*A song-book. Price, 50 cents, postpaid. 




HIGHER GRADES 


163 


Then listen to our merry lay: 

You don’t belong where fairies stay, 
So take the hint and run away, 

Jackie Frost, poor Jackie Frost. 


You have not told the truth, you know, 
Jackie Frost, poor Jackie Frost, 
And that will always bring you woe, 
Jackie Frost, poor Jackie Frost. 


Come, come, be off, the moments fly, 

And merrily we fairies cry, 

O, Jackie Frost, good-bye, good-bye, 

Jackie Frost, poor Jackie Frost, 

(Fairies retreat to former position.) 

(Daring the singing Jack Frost walks about uneasily; at the 
close he is near Blue Beard.) 

Blue Beard: Why, Jack Frost, it seems you have not told 
the truth for the Prince read- 

Jack Frost (interrupting): Never mind the Prince, he al¬ 
ways would have his jokes, but, come with me. You haven’t 
any reason to be hanging around here, I’m sure; nothing go¬ 
ing on. 

Red Riding Hood (enters at left, does not see poster): O, good 
morning, good morning, how glad I am to see you Jack Frost 
and Prince, and you, too, Blue Beard. (They All meet her 
and shake hands with her.) Well, as you all seem idle you’d 
better walk with me through the woods. 

Jack Frost: You surely wouldn’t want me to go; I might 
bite you, don’t you know? 



164 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Red Riding Hood ( sings ) : 

SONG 

'Air: “monarch OF THE woods” p. 34, “Fountain Song Book, 
No . 3*” (using first four lines only .) 

O! come with me, yes, come, do come, 

The way is dark and long, 

O! come with me the wolf is big 
O, yes so big and strong. 

Then come with me, please someone come, 

I’ll sing a merry song, 

The time will pass so quickly then, 

When I’m alone ’tis long. 

Then, come with me, yes, come with me, 

I’ve good things here to eat, 

No harm will come, the wolf will run, 

That wolf I fear to meet. 

Prince : Why don’t you go some other way ? 

Red Riding Hood: How can I, when there is no other way? 
Prince: I should think you’d be used to him by this time? 
(Cinderella enters at right , does not see poster .) 

Red Riding Hood: O, tell me, Cinderella, are you used to 
your bad step-mother vet? The Prince here thinks that I 
should be used to the cruel wolf. 

Cinderella : That shows how little he knows about trouble. 
But, dear Red Riding Hood, there is one thing which I have 
always wanted so much to know, and that is how you manage 
to come to life every time after the wolf has eaten you up. 

Red Riding Hood: That is my secret which I cannot tell to 
anyone, because, you see, if 1 should tell it I would stay eaten. 
But, now, isn’t someone going my way ? 


♦Price, 10 cents, postpaid. 



HIGHER GRADES 


165 


Prince: No, I’m afraid not; you see, we are all the kind of 
people who always go their own ways. 

Blue Beard: But we mustn’t go yet, something is about to 
happen. 

Jack Frost (aside): Just listen to that! The whole thing 
is lost now. He believes the Prince instead of me. (To others:) 
Come, let’s sing. (He begins to sing, others join.) 

SONG 

Air: “yankee doodle/' 

We are a merry, merry crowd, 

And everything delights us. 

O, we can sing and sing aloud, 

For nothing ever frights us. 

Now when the sun shines over all, 

You’ll hear our voices ringing, 

Or when the evening shadows fall, 

We still are gaily singing. 

O happy crowd are we, indeed, 

So full of joy forever, 

No sad forebodings do we heed, 

You’ll find us weeping, never. 

Chorus: 

How our merry song floats far, 

Distant echoes waking, 

And O, let nothing come to mar 
All this merry-making. 

Cinderella : O, what’s going to happen ? Do tell us! 

Blue Beard : It’s some kind of a sale, but I can’t tell exactly 
what kind of a sale it is, because you see accounts differ. 

Cinderella: O, I just love a sail of any kind whether it’s in 
a big boat or a- 



166 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Blue Beard (interrupting): Can’t you read? (Points to 
poster.) Don’t you see? It isn’t a s-a- 

Jack Frost (interrupting): Come here, Cinderella, I want to 
tell you something. (He walks apart from others.) 

Cinderella (running to him): O, yes! the sail, the sail, I 
want to go, too. 

Red Riding Hood : O, please wait until I come back from my 
grandmother’s. I want to go sailing, too. 

(Jack Frost goes to right-front, the Two Girls following 
him. He zuhispers to them and they continue standing thus 
until Mother Hubbard comes down exclaiming, “I’ll buy him 
out!”) 

Mother Hubbard (enters at right): Why, how do you do, 
Blue Beard? Aren’t you pretty far from home? 

Blue Beard: Yes, and I ought to be off this minute, but you 
see this thing has upset me (pointing to poster). 

Mother Hubbard: How can that be, when it’s on the wall 
and you are on the floor, right side up too, apparently. 

Blue Beard: But read what that says, will you? 

(Mother Hubbard reads loud and rapidly as she proceeds. 
Blue Beard slaps his hands together and nods approznngly.) 

Blue Beard: That’s exactly the way the Prince read it, but 
Jack Frost said he was joking, so I didn’t know what to think, 
but you wouldn’t deceive a poor, old man, would you? 

Mother Hubbard (aside): Listen to that! “a poor old man,” 
and I’ve heard that he has chests full of gold. (To him:) No, 
Blue Beard, I’m not deceiving you. I’ve read the sign exactly 
as it is, and I’m much obliged to you for calling my attention to 
it, for that is the very speculation that I should like to go into. 
You see. Blue Beard, I’m quite accustomed to care and re¬ 
sponsibility. 

Blue Beard : That may be, but you’ll find this is very differ¬ 
ent from managing a dog and an empty cupboard. 



HIGHER GRADES 


167 


Mother Hubbard : No! let me tell you an empty cupboard is 
harder to manage than a full one. 

Blue Beard: Well! what of it, you don’t know anything 
about managing reindeer, do you ? 

Mother Hubbard: How can they be any worse than a dog 
that feeds the cat, reads the newspaper, dances a jig, plays the 
flute, laughs in your face and wears his Sunday clothes every 
day? Yes, that’s what I’ll do: (comes down) I’ll buy him out! 

(Red Riding Hood and Cinderella run to her , calling, “O, 
are you coming to the sail, too?”) 

Mother Hubbard: What sail? 

Cinderella : Didn’t you read that big sign up there ? 

Red Riding Hood: Jack Frost has been telling us about it: 
when the wind is right, and the boat is ready, and the- 

Mother Hubbard (laughing): O, it isn’t that kind of a sail. 
Guess you’d better go back to school. It’s s-a-l-e, not s-a-i-1. 

Jack Frost (aside): O, it’s all over now. (Goes up stage.) 

Cinderella and Red Riding Hood (together): We didn’t 
read it. 

Red Riding Hood: But I will now. (Runs to poster.) 
Cinderella: So will I. (Follows.) 

Prince (coming to Mother Hubbard) : My! but you’ve done 
it now. You see, Jack Frost didn’t want anyone to know about 
that poster. I’m afraid he’ll make you trouble, and you know 
he’s a terrible biter. 

Mother Hubbard: I’m not afraid of trouble; I can always 
set my dog on anyone who comes prowling around and then 
hide in my cupboard; that’s why it’s so convenient to have it 
empty. 

(Cinderella and Red Riding Hood come dozvn stage, dis¬ 
puting, each exclaiming: “I’ll buy him out, I tell you!”) 

Mother Hubbard : Be quiet, both of you, what do you know 
about the work of Santa Claus ? I intend to buy him out. 


168 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


Jack Frost (running to them): You chatter like a lot of 
monkeys. You have nothing to do with this business for I 
shall buy him out myself. 

Blue Beard (comes dozvn): Such waste of time and words! 
I am the only one of the crowd who can raise the money for 
this great purchase. 

Prince: O, come now, you aren’t the only one in the crowd 
who has money, even if you have more wives than the rest of us. 

Blue Beard : Anyway, Jack Frost cannot raise the money and 
I know it. 

All (except Jack Frost give the follozmng): 

CONCERT RECITATION 

O, Jack Frost, Jack Frost, 

With his wishes crossed. 

No, he hasn’t any money, 

And he freezes up the honey, 

So this is sufficient cause 
Why he can’t buy Santa Claus. 

If he wouldn’t be so icy, 

But become a little spicy, 

Some money he might make 
And then the prize he’d take. 

Jack Frost: Well, I can surely pay as much as Cinderella 
or- 

All (except Cinderella recite): 

Yes, poor little Cinderella, 

Hasn’t even an umbrella, 

- When it rains or snows 

How does she suppose 

She with presents through the dreadful storms could roam ? 

If she tries it she will wish herself at home. 

(Jack-the-Giant-Killer enters at right, and without being 
seen stands looking on.) 



HIGHER GRADES 


169 


Cinderella: O, well, I think I could manage the business 
quite as well as the rest of you. 

Red Riding Hood : As far as money is concerned almost any¬ 
one might buy him out because you remember the sign says 
‘‘the purchaser is to make his own figures.” 

Jack-the-Giant-Killer (laughs aloud; All turn and look at 
him as he comes dozvn): Of course, the purchaser makes his 
own figures, for the good Santa never made a figure in his life, 
except the figure that he makes when he is climbing over the 
electric wires: then he is a figure, indeed! (Laughs.) But the 
poster doesn’t say, mind you, that the purchaser makes his own 
price. No, indeed! 

Jack Frost: O, well, we don’t need to bother about the price 
since we have so long time on the payment. 

Jack-the-Giant-Killer : But, remember, with good security. 

Jack Frost: That’s easy: I’ll mortgage my ice-fields. 

Cinderella : Why, the ice might melt. 

Jack Frost: But it never melts at the poles. However, if 
that doesn’t seem sufficient, the Man in the Moon will stand 
for me. We always work together pretty well. 

Mother Hubbard : Well, I can give good substantial security: 
a mortgage on my cupboard. 

All : But your cupboard is bare. 

Mother Hubbard: But don’t you see it won’t be bare when 
I get all the Christmas things in it. 

All (with exception of Mother Hubbard sing): 

Air: "‘what does little birdie say?”, in “Merry Melodies” 

(Use the first six bars of this tune, repeating same. For the 
chorus repeat bars 5, 6.) 

O! dear, good, Mother Hubbard, 

Fill up, fill up your cupboard, 


170 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


And never more will it be bare, 

No! no! with merry laughter 
She’ll open it hereafter, 

So sure of finding something there. 

Chorus: 

Hurrah! then, for Mother Hubbard, 

And hurrah! for that old cupboard. 

O, dear, good Mother Hubbard, 

What fun for that old cupboard, 

When it is full from back to door, 

With Santa’s gifts so many, 

Which have not cost a penny, 

And which will come for evermore. 

Chorus: 

Hurrah ! then, for that old cupboard, 

Which belongs to Mother Hubbard. 

Red Riding Hood : Now, listen, all of you, and let me take a 
minute. If it’s so fine a thing to mortgage a cupboard I can 
do better than that for I can give a mortgage on my grand¬ 
mother’s cottage which is worth a hundred old cupboards. 

Jack-the-Giant-Killer : But you can’t mortgage what 
doesn’t belong to you, that is a criminal offense. 

Red Riding Hood: What kind of a fence is that? I never 
saw one. 

Jack-the Giant-Killer : Well, you’ll see one all right if you 
try to mortgage your grandmother’s cottage. 

Cinderella : Now, that you are proposing mortgages, I sup¬ 
pose I could mortgage my glass slippers. They are mine, I 
know, and they must be worth a great deal of money. 

Jack-the-Giant-Killer: I don’t like to contradict a lady, 
but, I don’t see how you can mortgage your slippers, because 
you are never sure of but one; the Prince has the other in his 
pocket most of the time. 


HIGHER GRADES 


171 


Jack Frost: So, you see, when you get right down to busi¬ 
ness, I am the only one, after all, who can give satisfactory 
security. 

Blue Beard: I don’t believe Santa would consider the Man 
in the Moon very secure; he changes too often. 

Jack Frost: Well, then, there are my ice-fields to fall back 
upon. 

Red Riding Hood: If he falls back on them he’ll crack his 
skull. (Laughter.) 

Jack Frost: But what difference does it make about the se¬ 
curity, anyway, since we don’t have to pay anything for ten 
years ? 

Jack-the-Giant-Killer : Who says so? 

All : The poster! the poster! it says so. 

Jack-the-Giant-Killer: It is plain you have all read that 
poster to please yourselves. There is nothing said about paying 
every ten years. On the contrary it says there must be a pay¬ 
ment every year for ten years. (All groan, shake their heads 
and cry: “No, no, no.”) 

All (sing): 

SONG 

’Air: “here we go,” p. 35, (( Merry Melodies.” 

Once a year, once a year, 

O dear me that is so queer. 

Break our banks, break our banks, 

Leave us only thanks. 

No, indeed, that will not do, 

We are sure that can’t be true, 

Once a year, once a year, 

O, that is so queer. 

He may own, he may own, 

Finest job was ever known. 

But, no, no, no, no, no, 

We can’t bother so. 





172 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


That is such a dreadful way 
For the Saint to take his pay, 

All that fuss, all that fuss, 

Would just beggar us. 

Jack Frost: Well, I don’t believe the poster says that! 

Jack-the-Giant-Killer : Read it for yourselves, if you don’t 
believe what I say. 

(All run to poster, and all except Blue Beard read very 
loudly; some slowly, others rapidly, making great confusion. 
As each one comes to the word “ten, yearly installments,” 
he or she exclaims, “there,” repeating this word emphatically 
until at last they all say it together . When this point is reached, 
Jack-the-Giant-Killer makes his next speech.) 

Jack-the-Giant-Killer : But, my friends, don’t you see that 
little comma after the word “ten”? Had it been intended as 
you have understood the meaning, the word “ten” and “yearly” 
would have been joined by a hyphen. (All groan.) Now, you 
perceive that is what happens to those people who were care¬ 
less and idle in school and by not attending to their lessons did 
not learn the value of little things like commas and hyphens. 

Mother Hubbard: Well, I must say if the old thing means 
what you say it does, I— 

Jack-the-Giant-Killer: Besides, I don’t believe there is 
one of you who ever saw a reindeer. 

Red Riding Hood: What of it? I’ve seen a wolf lots of 
times. 

Cinderella : And I’ve seen mice and rats. 

Jack Frost : Pshaw! I’ve seen herds and herds of reindeer 
running around on my ice-fields, but I don’t want the old 
business on those terms. It is a broken-down concern, any¬ 
way, and I don’t wonder that he wants to sell out. Besides, 
I never did think much of emoluments; they eat too much. 

Jack-the-Giant-Killer: Well, now, good people, I have 
a most astonishing piece of news for you. Santa Claus doesn’t 




HIGHER GRADES 


173 


want to sell out: his business is growing better and bigger 
every year. In fact, there was never a time when he was so 
dear to the hearts of mortals as he is now and you couldn’t 
buy him out at any price or on any terms. 

All : But the poster, the poster! 

Jacic-the-Giant-Killer : Did you ever hear of Puck? 

Prince : Yes, I have: a great poet named Shakespeare wrote 
about him. Puck was a clever little joker and once he said, 
“I’ll put a girdle round about the earth in forty minutes.*” 

Tack-the-Giant-Killer : Yes, that’s the very chap. He had 
the poster printed and put here just to find out how many 
people there are in the world who think that they can beat 
Santa Claus at his job which he has been running for hundreds 
of years. 

Blue Beard: Well, I’m glad I didn’t want it. 

Jack Frost: Who wants his old job? It only comes once a 
year and then lasts only a single night, while the reindeer and 
the emoluments have "to be fed and taken care of all the 
rest of the time. 

Blue Beard : I do believe it would be worse to manage than 
a lot of wives. 

Cinderella: This isn’t a sale of any kind, then? 

Mother Hubbard : No, our sale has turned into a sell. 

All (recite with great spirit): 

Yes, yes, this is a fine old sell, 

And we will never, never tell 
How we have all been sold. 

The dear, old Saint will do his work, 

We know he never was a shirk 
Though he’s a trifle old. 


*Midsummer-Night’s Dream, Act 2, Scene 2. 



174 


THIRTY NEW CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES 


No one can ever hope to be 
So dear to mortals as is he, 

O, we have all been sold. 

And none must ever dare to say 
“Old Santa Claus has had his day” 
Though he’s a trifle old. 


So now, hurrah for Santa, dear, 

May he go on from year to year 
For we have all been sold. 

His virtues we will talk about 
And hope he never will sell out, 

Though he’s a trifle old. 

Jack-the-Giant-Killer: Of course Santa will be good and 
angry at Puck when he hears of this. 

He*********** 

Fairies (dance down the center, exclaiming): But he can’t 
catch Puck. (They form in long line across the stage and sing 
the following): 

fairies’ song 

Air: “jingle of the bells,” p. 30, “Fountain Song Book, 
No. 4.” 

(Omit the chorus.) 

Old Santa Claus may be quite spry, 

But fairies far from him can fly; 

Yes, Santa Claus may wander here, 

But Puck for him can feel no fear. 


No fear can come to any fay, 

For we can always dance away; 

Yes, far from danger we can fly, 
Where none can follow, e’en they try. 


HIGHER GRADES 


175 


And so, though Santa through the air, 

Comes flying fast, we do not care; 

For in a second we can be, 

Where neither you nor he can see. 

***********515 

(Bells heard behind scenes; great confusion among all char¬ 
acters except Fairies: they dance off at left in time to lively 
music while other characters run wildly about seeking places 
to hide, as one after another exits at right. When the last one 
disappears Santa enters at left. He sees poster, goes to it and 
while studying it he turns his back to audience displaying well- 
filled pack. Several bars of music are played. At close of music 
Santa comes dozvn, laughing aloud and heartily. When laugh¬ 
ter subsides he distributes gifts.) 


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